To think the household/childcare should be split?

[tiredtiredtiredtired]

For those on mat leave or the SAHP I think they should at least get a break on one weekend/few weeknights. But with both parents working it should be 50/50 at home regardless of income either of them earns?

I'm slowly being slotted into the main caregiver role (no idea how it crept up on me!) and I'm on mat leave but I'm at the end of my tether now after the 6week summer break. Can't do it anymore.

I think the SAHP should do the lions share, but if both are working they should split the housework. If the sahp gets a day off, when’s the working parents day off.

I have to say I’ve seen a lot of women set themselves up as the expert in childcare and housework, and then complain their husbands do not pull their weight. You can’t have it both ways.

You are definitely not being unreasonable.
Some men seem to think working outside of home means they can't pull their weight at home as they need to rest in the evening/weekends. Most mums manage to work AND look after home and dc.
What does your partner say when you bring this up?

A lot of people walk right into the trap on mat leave, though, when they start doing everything because they are 'at home' and then it's expected when they go back to work. As my mother always said, start as you mean to go on. I never starting doing increasing amounts of housework whilst on mat leave but I also didn't take a year off.

We do things pretty equally I reckon. DH does a standard 9-5 and has Friday afternoons off. I work on Tuesday and Thursday evenings, a bit during the day wirh the baby and deal with every school run.

I deal with baby through the night as a rule, unless I’m exhausted then he takes over. If the baby wakes at 5ish (which she often does) DH takes her downstairs and allows me 1.5/2 hours sleep alone. Then he goes to work and I do school run.

I do the lions share of the cleaning as I’m around more in the day, he does most of the cooking and putting the kids to bed. At the weekend he either does 90% of the housework, or we split it and he does DIY/we both work on a project.

He makes the children’s packed lunches every night and I make sure there are groceries there to use.

It’s pretty good. We bumble along quite nicely. He is very steady and considered, I tend to do more impulsive things or push for things to be fixed or changed.

In the summer we do more activities out of the house, in the autumn and spring we do work on the house and in winter we hibernate.

Sometimes I struggle with mental health (I have bipolar) and he picks up the slack. Other times I’m really energetic and he gets more rest.

It was exactly the same when I was on maternity. We still divided up the jobs the same as I was so very busy with baby.

We have a twice weekly cleaner

"If the sahp gets a day off, when’s the working parents day off. "

On the other weekend day 

So Saturday is parent #1's day off
Sunday is parent #2's day off
Or alternate weekends for family days out

I think I've fallen into the mat leave trap. Didn't happen first time round but it's happened second time round now.

@Doingreat that's exactly what's happened. Both weekends and evenings are used for "rest" where I've not had much time to myself. He says "so you want me to work, pay the bills AND do stuff at home?"

And I reply with "that's what I did before going on mat leave"

The kids don't really like spending time with him that's my other problem...even baby has started to cry when he's with him

But with both parents working it should be 50/50 at home regardless of income either of them earns?

Regardless of income but not regardless of hours. Everyone should have the same free time. No idea why some men seem to think that when they have a wife and child (and therefore MORE housework) they should do nothing. Presumably they wash their own floors before they had a wife...