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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Miscarriage at 5weeks wanting to try again

29 replies

Kelzshandalot · 15/09/2018 14:07

Hi I am Kelly I am 33 and I have 4 beautiful boys, I am in a new relationship with the love of my life (previous relationships weren’t great) found out I was pregnant two weeks ago but sadly stqrted to miscarry yesterday took a test this morning and it was negative 👎 passed a clot yesterday too ugh never have I experienced a miscarriage and I am wondering on advice to try again help x

OP posts:
User9870 · 15/09/2018 14:12

Sorry for your loss. x

The advice is usually to wait until you have at least one period (though i am pretty sure this is just to help date a future pregnancy)
And have had a negative test to make sure its a new pregnancy and not left over hormones (which you have already had)

good luck x x

Ellisandra · 15/09/2018 14:15

I’m sorry for your loss. My doctor confirmed after my miscarriage that waiting one cycle is, as a PP said, to make dating another pregnancy easier. I do remember how strong the drive was for me personally, to want to be pregnant again. But if by “new” you mean properly new, maybe hold off on trying for a bit, until you’ve been together longer? Take care of yourself x

KM99 · 15/09/2018 14:24

Have you been to see your GP? Even with an early miscarriage (I had two) you should get checked out. We were advised that we could start again right away both times although I gave myself an emotional break for a couple of months.

Good luck x

MeredithGrey1 · 15/09/2018 14:24

I can only talk from my experience, but I just got my first period after a miscarriage at 8 weeks.

We were advised to wait until I’d had a period to try again, but because they said that was because it would make dating the pregnancy easier rather than for medical reasons we ignored it and tried straight away. I am not saying this is what you’d be doing (as I said, can only speak from my experience) but I think we were so desperate to try again so that we could avoid dealing with the miscarriage properly. When I got my period I was so upset and wish I’d waited to try again. I think I was emotionally ready to be pregnant again, but not emotionally ready to not manage to conceive right away.

Original poster
Kelzshandalot · 15/09/2018 14:47

Sorry I should have made it clear Regarding my relationship
We have been together a year and 9 months my previous relationship was an abusive marriage and it was hell but gave me my soon to be 6year old son

I read on a lot of forums etc that hcg levels should still be showing it’s all confusing. I have fybromyalgia and was on a lot of medication non of which I was on before with previous pregnancies
I am now off the dangerous meds and on more suitable ones and I am taking cocodamol fluoxetine and folic acid. I kinda want to put this miscarriage down to too much changes to medication this is just our second month trying didnt happen the first month and fell pregnant the 2nd month now here I am 5weeks later. All ur advice is really helpful and I do thank you all

OP posts:
Sarahandduck18 · 15/09/2018 14:51

This reply has been deleted

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sexnotgender · 15/09/2018 14:52

I had a miscarriage at 5/6 weeks in April and immediately fell pregnant again. I’m now 22 weeks.

Original poster
Kelzshandalot · 15/09/2018 15:09

Well aren’t u a ray of sunshine 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
Kelzshandalot · 15/09/2018 15:10

Sexnotgender congrats I’m really happy for u ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Kelzshandalot · 15/09/2018 15:12

First of all Sarahandduck18 u don’t know me how dare u judge me
My children are 13 12 11 and almost 6 and are the sole beings of my existance how can u be so cruel.

OP posts:
Rainycloudyday · 15/09/2018 15:13

Sorry OP but I agree with Sarahandduck18 even if she was a bit blunt in her wording. It sounds like you are not in a good position to be planning a new baby and 1.5 years is a relatively new relationship when there are four children to think about. I'm sorry for your loss but maybe focussing on stability for your existing four children would be best now.

Original poster
Kelzshandalot · 15/09/2018 15:14

Also FYI I’m on anti depressants due to losing my father cousin and grandmother in the space of a year may 2016 jan 2017 and feb 2017

OP posts:
3ChangingForNow · 15/09/2018 15:14

I got pg again straight away.

Excited101 · 15/09/2018 15:21

What an awful thing to have to go through, I’m so sorry op. I agree with Sarah and Rainy, stability right now will be good for all of you. Good luck.

Rainycloudyday · 15/09/2018 15:22

OP I'm really sorry to hear that. But all the more reason to make sure you and your family are all recovered from everything you've been through before throwing a new baby into the mix.

Original poster
Kelzshandalot · 15/09/2018 15:24

Thanks for the advice guys means a lot to me maybe not what I want to hear but still I appreciate it all the same :)

OP posts:
MyBambi · 15/09/2018 15:24

Woo that was really an unpleasant thing to say to someone.. actually really bitter...You could of said at least a little less harsh things... considering what she has just gone thru..You don't know her circumstances!!!Loads of people have big families!And sorry to hear about your miscarriage..I also had one and it took three months of trying,we have our DD Flowers

Original poster
Kelzshandalot · 15/09/2018 16:12

Thanks bambi there are still like minded people out there ❤️

OP posts:
Original poster
Kelzshandalot · 15/09/2018 16:12

And I’m so so happy for u ❤️🙌

OP posts:
Gronky · 15/09/2018 16:16

Sorry for your loss. With the greatest respect for MN, it really does sound like you should ask your GP for guidance on this topic.

PattiStanger · 15/09/2018 16:25

At 5 weeks loads of women wouldn't even have done a pregnancy test, I would probably have thought I was just having a heavy period (I didn't know you'd get clots so early on) and so would have carried on trying as if nothing had happened.

I'm not medical so don't know if it's the right thing to do but I'd think it happens regularly.

Original poster
Kelzshandalot · 15/09/2018 16:32

I only tested because I’m clockwork regular never late :( xx

OP posts:
Minniemountain · 15/09/2018 16:43

If your children are the sole beings of your existence, why do you need another one?

Give time for your hormones to settle, then have a think. I was advised to wait 3 months after my MC.

Wildestflower · 15/09/2018 16:43

I'm so sorry for your loss and for the difficult years you have had. I've had recurrent Miscarriages and have two healthy DC, aged 7 and 4. I had the miscarriages before and after DC 7. I left an abusive relationship when pregnant with her and met my now DH when she was 8 months old. We started trying for a baby early in our relationship. We're happily married and survived recurrent losses and love our DC very much. Do what is right for you. People become pregnant on antidepressants. I'm sorry you've been through so much. Suggest you get some advice from the GP. Most miscarriages are unexplainable medically, but it can really help to know if there is a reason. In my case my body attacked the embryos and I was on immune suppressing drugs with Mr Shehata which helped a lot. I also tested as soon as my period was due (many women do) and also discovered early losses. I passed clots too. It's very distressing and debilitating. Take care and don't let anyone judge you.

Wildestflower · 15/09/2018 16:45

PS if you ask MN to move your thread to early pregnancy loss and out of AIBU, people are kinder there. You're being judged very harshly here.