AIBU to die inside a little bit every time I see 'could of'?

[MeetMeInMontauk]

Yep, it's another sanctimonious grammar-Nazi thread, so I'm going to get in early and tell all the bleeding heart virtue signallers who usually jump on these threads to do one, straight out of the gate. I'm interested in the experiences of others regarding what appears to be some sort of epidemic (at least on Facebook) or a near-ubiquitous grammatical blind spot in modern written English. For context, I live in an upcoming area of the SE but with an inescapably working class heritage and large council estate community, although this trend is by no means limited to the local FB community pages and is something that I see from even university-educated friends. How has 'could of' snuck in almost unremarked? Obviously as a corruption of the enunciation of the contraction 'could've' when spoken, but even then it makes no sense, if given even the slightest thought. Noone is saying, for example, 'Did you of one of my biscuits?', but the application of 'could of' seems almost universal in some circles. I accept that its contextual use means that nearly everyone involved understands the meaning and intent, but it's an inaccuracy that appears to be gaining continued traction. Does it make anyone else cringe, or do I just need to get back in my cage and chill the fuck out?

lay/lie

'to lie (on a bed/on the floor)':
Today she lies down. Yesterday she lay down.

'to lay (= to put something down):
Today she lays a cloth on the table. Yesterday she laid a cloth on the table.

'to lie (to tell an untruth):
Today he lies. Yesterday he lied.

These cause all sorts of trouble in my adult English class!

Quite Granny, quite!

Curiously where I now live, a lot of people say things like, "I got off of the bus". Why not just, "I got off the bus?"

My pet hate is the use of who's instead of whose.
Also most people seem to think affect and effect are interchangeable and don't seem to realise they can both be both verb and noun.
Have checked my grammar and realised that sentence should not start with 'also'. It's a veritable minefield 😁

My best anecdote has to be when a so called manager emailed me saying that such and such a thing was ok on 'on the bravado that....'

I'm assuming they were attempting to say 'on the proviso that...'

So many of these howlers are down to people not reading. They hear expressions but have never seen them in print, so just guess at a mangled spelling. It's all quite depressing.

Thanks for putting me right, Withered Lay, lie, lied, lain, laid; it's a can of worms.

People have never been more literate, but with Facebook and the like people communicate in the written form more rapidly and frequently than ever before, so more errors become apparent.

The effect/affect one is less straightforward than practise/practice and advice/advise (I lost an argument last night about this so it is still hurting!)

I thought effect=noun and affect =verb but of course - as dh annoyingly pointed out - to effect (change) is a verb too. I had to have a lie down and a second gin after that.

Saturday nights in the Urbanbeetler household , where fun knows no boundaries.

So many of these howlers are down to people not reading.

I have made a lot of errors because of reading, but never hearing the word spoken in real life, or hearing the word spoken but not matching it up to the written form.

Hyperbole I thought was "hyperbowl" for ages. Segue I thought was seg.

I also hate it. It’s up there with a chest of “draws” for me.

Both of those make me grit my teeth.

I do the spoken error thing too, actualpuffins.

(How are you meant to pronounce ‘segue’?)

My brother (a solicitor for context) makes terrible me, myself and I errors.

They set my teeth on edge and make him sound so pompous. "Myself & DP are doing X"

Argh. What is wrong with "DP & I are doing X"

No you are being being unreasonable, I cannot stand could of/would of/should of.

However there is something that I've found disturbing, and that is the frequent use of "I am sat" on MN. Where on earth did this come from? I see this on here EVERY....DAY. I'm sat doesn't even make any sense. Neither does I was sat or we are sat. It is sitting or seated. Seriously, can someone tell me where on earth this 'I'm sat/we we are sat/were sat' even came from?

He's instead of 'his' is the one that gets me.

class facebook group... "anyone know what this weeks homework is hes forgotten he's homework book"

He’s for his - That’s a common error of children learning English as a second language.

@actualpuffins I used to think segue was seg (or kind of "saig") and was surprised to notice Jeremy Vine pronounce it that way on his show the other morning.

I think ' I seen it ' or
' I done it' or 'We done it' is actually worse OP
We have free education from primary level up to secondary level in Ireland ( approximately 18 year olds ) and our third level fees are heavily subsidised too yet the above are used so frequently they have almost become the norm and by using those terms people appear uneducated.
Aghhhh !
Rant over.

How is English taught in here? Maybe using books for ESOL learners would be better.

I know that our native language was never explained at school like the other languages were. There was quite more in depth grammar, yet bit simpler. We had a teacher once who managed to hammer irregular verbs into our heads the way that if you woke us up from deep sleep and said "steal" you would still get the correct answer from us. I think it was these short tests. Eg. Write 20 verbs in all 3 tenses in 10 min. If you didn't learn them, you got bad grade.

I am not saying we are perfect, gosh, far from it, but I don't know a person with English as a second language who would write "should of"

"Sort after" as in neighbourhood

"OFFCIAL" noted on header pages of Ministerial Document that had gone out to external organisations

Segue is pronounced seg-way...

@Often Hangry

Was meant to write "Solubal Azprin" - that was a howler by my sister.

My former boss used to say "cira" instead of the word for approximation (circa?)

Goth- please re-read your own post.

And then come back and dare criticize others.

@MadameGerbil bot are equally funny😂

Gosh is it really Breton stripe? I thought it was "seeg". I have heard Segway but I assumed that was an entirety different word spelt like those standing scooter things an evil henchman would ride on.

I used to work somewhere incredibly inefficient where one team would type out reports in largely terrible English and another team would then rewrite the reports in almost equally terrible English.

The "proofers" would often reword using "should of", "could of" etc - and sometimes my work was reworded in this way! I was very young then and not confident enough to question it.

Also, install instead of instil!