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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to die inside a little bit every time I see 'could of'?

611 replies

MeetMeInMontauk · 15/09/2018 06:56

Yep, it's another sanctimonious grammar-Nazi thread, so I'm going to get in early and tell all the bleeding heart virtue signallers who usually jump on these threads to do one, straight out of the gate. I'm interested in the experiences of others regarding what appears to be some sort of epidemic (at least on Facebook) or a near-ubiquitous grammatical blind spot in modern written English. For context, I live in an upcoming area of the SE but with an inescapably working class heritage and large council estate community, although this trend is by no means limited to the local FB community pages and is something that I see from even university-educated friends. How has 'could of' snuck in almost unremarked? Obviously as a corruption of the enunciation of the contraction 'could've' when spoken, but even then it makes no sense, if given even the slightest thought. Noone is saying, for example, 'Did you of one of my biscuits?', but the application of 'could of' seems almost universal in some circles. I accept that its contextual use means that nearly everyone involved understands the meaning and intent, but it's an inaccuracy that appears to be gaining continued traction. Does it make anyone else cringe, or do I just need to get back in my cage and chill the fuck out?

OP posts:
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tillytop · 15/09/2018 12:14

At the risk of appearing thick (for which I don't care) and I'm from a large council estate, what does parsing mean, please?

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 15/09/2018 12:20

Basically, parsing is an exercise whereby you analyse a sentence, breaking down each clause and identifying each word as either a noun, pronoun, verb, adverb, adjective, conjunction, preposition or interjection.

Kione · 15/09/2018 12:24

Haven't read the whole thread but "pecifically" Confused
My 8 y/o DD has started to say it and I am so glad I can't correct her. I have to bite my tongue at work!

saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 15/09/2018 12:25

Silvercatowner: in the OP

so I'm going to get in early and tell all the bleeding heart virtue signallers who usually jump on these threads to do one, straight out of the gate

Grin
Kione · 15/09/2018 12:30

I meant I CAN correct her

ThomasShelbysBunnet · 15/09/2018 12:31

I couldn't agree more OP.

I came straight to this thread from the bread knife one, where someone took a knife out of the draw.

Wtf?

Pootle40 · 15/09/2018 12:35

For me it's people saying 'setting a president' instead of 'precedent'

Marie0 · 15/09/2018 12:37

for me it's the 'focused' many spell it with 2 s's

'liaise' and 'definitely' are also on my radar

JungWan · 15/09/2018 12:39

If it's part of your job and you get it wrong in that capacity I would roll my eyes but on a forum, I think you ought to overlook it. Who knows what people's strengths and weaknesses are?! Somebody who types 'would of' could be at home creating the most beautiful art that would leave you feeling humbled. Who knows. Or they could be contributing to scientific research or have a job that required a mathematical brain outside of your more linguistically inclined reached.

So basically if you criticse somebody's written English, you're a dickhead. Maybe they didn't have your advantages.

Don't be a dickhead if you don't have to be.

reallyanotherone · 15/09/2018 12:44

“for me it's the 'focused' many spell it with 2 s's”

Focussed is the english spelling. Focused is the US version.

Focused has become common, but focussed is still a correct spelling.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 15/09/2018 12:50

@Birdsgottafly

You are correct that I, along with many others, do struggle with comprehending something that looks absolutely nothing like any recognised form of English (or any other language, for that matter). The whole idea of language is so that people are able to communicate by using standard recognised words, grammar and punctuation. Even pidgin forms of language are those which have developed within communities where many people understand them, but there is no sense at all in inventing your own individual form of language that nobody else does, if you hope to communicate successfully and be widely understood.

I don't do it myself - I DO simply move on - but when people respond to an incomprehensible OP by saying or indicating that they can't understand it, how do you know that they're just trying to be superior and to slap the OP down? If everybody simply ignored it, the OP may be desperately hoping for viewpoints or advice on a serious, personally-important issue and wondering why nobody cares, without realising that people WOULD happily engage and try to help if only they could understand what the question or situation was?

Where did I ever say that I wanted to ridicule or belittle people who have poor grammar? OK, I jokingly said about wanting to slap people who insert 'like' as every other word in a sentence, but I was obviously not being serious there and such is clearly a case of bad habit rather than a misunderstanding of correct grammar. I would never ridicule somebody for it - I just wouldn't be able to communicate with them if their grammar is so poor that it's incoherent to a standard speaker of English. I would also say that many of the incoherent posts are not largely a result of poor grammar, but rather a laziness in not bothering to check what you have typed before posting something that you expect others to understand.

I do agree that there have been many appalling government cuts, which have had very far-reaching negative consequences, and I don't personally work in education; but I still fail to see how spending lots more money on it would magically enable teachers to teach good grammar rather than incorrect grammar (if that is what certain teachers are indeed doing).

If you're suggesting that poorer people from less privileged backgrounds can't be expected to attend school as children (or listen and learn when there) or, as adults, to access whichever readily-available resources that they might want/need (even something as basic as a dictionary) - when everybody who is posting online clearly has internet access - then that is rather offensive to the many who DO take some personal pride and take the trouble to do so.

If you think that I have nothing better to do than to roll around on the floor chuckling whenever I see somebody using incorrect grammar online, you are sadly mistaken. I do not 'have issues' in choosing to participate in a voluntary discussion thread lamenting the widespread lowering of the standards in the main language of my country (which I agree is 'made up', although I'd probably describe it as 'developed' over hundreds of years of mass communication) and the resulting comprehension difficulties.

Would you retire to Spain without a word of Spanish and just expect to shout at people in English or make frantic hand gestures to them without any embarrassment for the rest of your life, on the assumed basis that 'they know what I mean'?

Language is a vital part of our human co-existence and, whilst I have no interest in ridiculing people for every error that they make (and I make errors myself sometimes, too - I'm not Susie Dent), I don't thinnk it's fair to accuse people of 'having issues' when they express sadness about the increasing loss of such an important skill and part of what it is to be human.

Micah · 15/09/2018 12:52

If it's part of your job and you get it wrong in that capacity I would roll my eyes but on a forum, I think you ought to overlook it. Who knows what people's strengths and weaknesses are?! Somebody who types 'would of' could be at home creating the most beautiful art that would leave you feeling humbled. Who knows. Or they could be contributing to scientific research or have a job that required a mathematical brain outside of your more linguistically inclined reached

I work in a professional practice. I have seen nearly all these errors used by clerks and recorders, plus a few million more. Either english is improved rapidly, or they don’t stay in their jobs. Senior staff won’t use somebody if they have to proofread a document and correct spelling etc before they can even start on the content.

There was even a “fewd” between two people last week. When I have to check a sentence several times to figure out what a word is supposed to be it’s a waste of everyone’s time.

I do find on social media the general “what does it matter” brigade often come out in force. It does matter if errors give a completely different meaning.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 15/09/2018 12:53

Even there, after carefully previewing what I had typed, an extra 'n' crept into the word 'think'. Nobody's perfect, but it's sad when people don't actually care about it or aspire to improve themselves and their own skills.

longestlurkerever · 15/09/2018 12:58

It matters in a vague sort of sense and I do think education policy dropped a ball when it totally axed grammar education, but it doesn't actually matter half as much as the strength of language used about poor grammar suggests it does.

WeaselsRising · 15/09/2018 13:14

It wasn't the 70s and 80s but the 80s and 90s when all this started. I left school in 1979 and wouldn't have got away with should of.

My DC started school in the early 1990s. Spelling and grammar was ignored so as "not to interrupt their creative flow", at the same time as they ditched phonics for Look and Say. I queried it at primary many times and was told they would learn it as they went on. They didn't. It was an experiment that failed an entire generation of children.

My 11 yo has had to concentrate on spelling and grammar since she started school, so they are putting it right again.

tillytop · 15/09/2018 13:19

But does it really matter on a talk site, when people are sometimes just in a rush? MN isn't an English exam, is it?

Petitprince · 15/09/2018 13:22

I'm dyslexic and I know they difference between "of" and "have". I have (not "of") known this since primary school.

I'm sick of people using dyslexia as an excuse for being lazy or stupid (particularly people who aren't dyslexic).

I'm also sick of people taking such offence at being corrected. I'm happy to be corrected, and I am baffled at the posters who get so cross when the of/have problem is pointed out.

TownHall · 15/09/2018 13:46

MrBennOfFestiveRoad My older brother was taught using ITA in the 60’s. It was a complete disaster for him. We lived in a poor, artsy area with loving but useless hippy parents so I don’t think we were ever going to get a great education but throw in ITA and it ended up being worse than useless for him. He IS NOT stupid, he is incredibly knowledgable, and a technical whizz but his written English is still dire. He has had to work twice as hard as other people to get where he is in life. I’m proud of him and his crappy English. It’s sad that some posters would look down on him.
BTW, I’d take a bet that he earns more than almost all the posters on this thread. 😌

tillytop · 15/09/2018 13:48

MilkTrayLimeBarrel I do now remember that at school but not the name "parsing". Thanks for the explanation. Smile

Mumberjack · 15/09/2018 13:48

YANBU - Rips my knitting!!

Roamingseams · 15/09/2018 13:56

There's a cafe near me which sells sandwich's...

It's written on a blackboard in what looks like chalk - you can see where people have walked past (my 9 year old DD included) and tried to rub it away with their finger. Unfortunately it isn't chalk so it's still there annoying us as!

SilverySurfer · 15/09/2018 14:00

Others that irritate me are 'que' instead of 'cue', using the verb instead of noun such as I received the 'invite' instead of 'invitation' and the incorrect use of lend and borrow.

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 15/09/2018 14:06

PetitPrince- you'll see that the majority of posters thinking that what the OP has done is a twatty thing have a near perfect command of English, whereas those heehawing and patting their smug selves on the back for being the greatest wits by belittling others are the ones who, on this thread, seem to be making far more errors (often presented as absolute grammatical fact)

Which is very satisfying really.

You are right about dyslexia. Most dyslexics need to have things spelled correctly to process them. I very much doubt that you'd take kindly to someone taking a mistake you made on a thread and carrying it over to another for the "aren't people thick" brigade to point at though, would you? (see ThomasShelby's post above)

tillytop · 15/09/2018 14:07

Roamingseams but is it really that important bearing in mind that some people are like TownHall's brother (my own dh being one of them.) You know it's a cafe, you know it sells sandwiches. You're teaching your DD to pick on others' spellings. Can't you simply praise DD for noticing, followed by a quick explanation that some find spelling difficult? End of.

Rumboogie · 15/09/2018 14:09

Slither instead of sliver.

I once saw this written in Marks and Spencer in an advert for one of their products!