... to absolutely detest being a parent sometimes?

[Merryoldgoat]

I obviously adore my children. I have two sons - 5yo and 7 months.

I’m currently sitting up whilst the baby grunts and growls and does the best possible impression of the unhappiest baby in the world.

It’s awful. He slept perfectly until he was about 5 months, now he’s done a 180. He’s so unsettled, wriggly, unhappy, noisy it’s making me utterly miserable.

I’m getting no rest. I’ve got health problems which mean I need to rest and exercise but I can’t rest, I’m utterly exhausted so exercise is nearly impossible and I’m not getting better.

My older son has HFA which I try to stay positive about and he’s genuinely lovely but my life just feels like a shitty slog.

My husband does loads but the reality is he’s working very long hours at the moment as it’s his busy time of year and he can’t do as much as he usually does (this will change after October).

I just hate my life right now. Where did the joy go?

Teething. It will pass. You will laugh and smile tomorrow. Just look at your lo right now and just see how brilliant he is. He doesn't want to gurn anymore than you want him to be gurney right now. You'll be fine xx

Oh lovey, Shit Happens!
I think EVERY parent goes through times when they think "WTF? This is so NOT what I signed up for" and "shitty slog" just about describes it perfectly.
Things WILL change though, and get better - the baby is probably having a growth spurt or teething or something equally mundane, and will eventually! sleep through again, your husband will be there to help more soon (even if it feels like he's working late forever) and things will even out and you just, well, soldier on and get through.
Sometimes I look back on some of the time I've had with my lot (5 children!) and think that, if someone had told me beforehand what it would be like, I would have crossed my legs forever and NEVER have had them, but it passes. All things pass eventually, and you have got this! You can do it, honestly!

Thank you. I know it will - it’s just so hard sometimes. And then the weekend gets wasted when I spend all Sunday in bed catching up.

I have children similar ages, 5 and 9 months, feeling ur pain!! Going through exactly same right now, and spent half the night downstairs with little one so they didn't wake eldest as he is so tired from school.... partner working long hours also which won't get better until xmas..... keep thinking this will pass and taking a day at a time helps as much as poss. Xx

Everyone finds it shit sometimes, you aren't alone.

I have one who will be 3 in December and a 9 month old. When they both cry at the same time I feel like my head is going to explode with the stress.

I'm in the same place as you. Mine was a dream 3 - 6 months, then it all went down hill. I also need to exercise for my own mental health, and I can't at the moment. I'm saying 'this will pass' a lot at the moment.

I really dislike the 6-12ish month bit. It’s draining and my two slept the worst during that period.

You just have to slog on through it I think :(

Sorry about your health problems must make things harder xx

My youngest is 4 and he’s our last of 3. We all love our children unconditionally and they are everything! But I secretly feel like doing backflips of joy because I can actually enjoy the kids without ALWAYS feeling like a walking hand grenade with the pin pulled out.

Parenthood... man, it is NOT for the faint of heart. Sympathy hugs, OP. Those ‘I really loathe this gig’ moments are totally normal. Nothing challenges your mental resilience like demanding, whining kids. And the lack of sleep is just the mother of all killers. DC3 didn’t sleep through the night until he turned 3! How I survived to even talk about this is beyond me! for you.

NBU. I think it helps if you redefine your role to "What can I realistically do" rather than thinking "I should be able to fix everything!" (b/c you can't).

Ugh I think we all have times like this.

To be honest I pretty much hated the 0-3 stage. Of course there are lovely times and milestones but a lot of it felt like a whirlwind of no sleep, arm deep in nappies and puke.

Much prefer age 3+ but still have days where I feel like I've picked up the same mess 100 times, asked them not to do something for the millionth time, eldest can do a great impression of being an obnoxious git when it suits him.

Hopefully you'll have great days but I think it's ok to have days where you say "it's bedtime and everyone's been fed, everyone's still alive, I've done ok".

My personal answer is that I found no joy, happiness or really anything for myself whatsoever in parenting a child with autism.

I wish I could be more optimistic for you, OP.

Thank you everyone. My husband came down just after my last post and sent me to bed so I’m feeling a bit better.

@continuallychsrgingmyphone

I’m really sorry you’re having such a terrible time. I’m very new to my son’s diagnosis and have no idea what the future holds for him but currently he’s doing very well so I’m optimistic. I feel very sad to hear you’re having such difficulty but I can absolutely believe and understand it and if my son were more severely affected I’m sure I’d feel the same.

His diagnosis is HFA and I’m very fortunate that so far he’s coping well with school/friends etc, but I’m aware this may not always be the case. I hope things improve for you.

I feel you merry, my ds is seven months and until about twenty minutes ago he'd spent the whole day grizzly get and crying, he's had one 20 minute nap since 8am, and refused to be put down. He's currently exploring the living room in his walker though and is like a different baby suddenly. This too shall pass is pretty much my catch phrase at the moment.

Literally I just looked at all three of mine and had a little daydream that I could roll them into a ball and shove them back it. Because really, they where the best behaved while residing in my ovaries.
I was scraping multiple clusters of chewing gum from behind ones desk...... parenting is shitty sometimes and its ok to have a moan!

I absolutely feel you OP. I have 2 boys, 3 year old and 14 months. Im in the 'shitty slog' phase too. I actually broke down yesterday and my lovely friend took the little one for the afternoon. He is SUCH hard work. Climbs on everything, teething like a demon, tantrums like my eldest never did/does. I cant leave him alone for 2 seconds else he is destroying something. Sleeps some nights, wont sleep other nights when previously he slept right through. Its awful. And my 3 year old is right in the midst of potty training and recently has learned 'Its not fair!' FML!!

It will not last forever although it probably bloody well feels like it will! No advice really just a 'you're not alone and you got this!' support reply!