To think there should be more support for adoptive parents of older children

[Greengrotbag]

My friend adopted a four year old a few years ago. She has had a very turbulent time and only seems to have support from a social worker (who sounds disinterested and needs a full reminder of the situation each time they meet) and a psychologist who offers very little advice. Is there any support organisation that could help her? School has been very challenging and the child is separated for most of the day. I'd just love to help my friend get some ideas and support as it's such a tough situation. Thank you

YANBU. Post Adoption support in general still seems to be woeful.

There is an Adoption board (under Becoming a Parent), which may be helpful.

If they aren't a member of Adoption UK they should join and then ask them for their advice.

Thank you. My friend is quite reserved and shy so it's particularly challenging - seems to be those who shout loudest get help

The parents need to advocate for their child. If they don't who will?
Quiet and firm and persistent should be as good as shouting.

AUK has online message boards (you don't need to be a member). They should ask for advice there, as there are generally more struggling adopters there than on MN.

As the mother of two adopted children, my initial response is "what support"?. I know there is the ASF but that's not easy to access.

I would agree with you in that there should be more support, but not just for the older children, although I understand that children adopted later may have different/additional issues to those adopted earlier in life.

Support around here seems to be limited to an occasional party, a youth club once a quarter but about 50 miles away and being nagged when the letterbox is due.

Thankfully our GP and school seem more switched on although that is more FASD related than adoption.

So, no YANBU

Tell them to join MN and start posting on the Adoption board on here (it's tucked away under "Becoming a parent"). Lots of helpful advice, both DIY and how to advocate for support. Including considering taking her DD out from school until she reaches compulsory school age, if it's too traumatic for her at the moment

Thank you. She's now 7 so has been in school for a while. But generally separated from other children due to violent outbursts. She is such a sweet and loving child but can lash out in the blink of an eye. I'll pass on your advice thanks

Virtual schools (every authority has one) now have a remit to support parents and schools of previously LAC adopted children around education issues.

Your friend should contact the Virtual School of the authority that the child’s school is in- PM me with the authority if you want contact details.