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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 year olds birthday party...

34 replies

CheeseAndBeans · 14/09/2018 09:47

Need some opinions as me and OH can’t agree.
DDs 5th birthday party, up until now she has only ever had family tea parties at home but now she’s at school we thought we would do something with her friends.
She has asked for a bowling party. This is fine and happy to do - nice and easy! Going to let her pick 7 friends to come.
Her birthday is the Saturday and we would normally do something at home with family that day. OH is off work the Friday and Saturday and working on Sunday. He thinks I should do the family thing on Saturday and bowling party on the Sunday (will have my parents to help anyway if parents don’t stick around so not an issue him not being there). I think we should do family thing on Saturday and bowling party after school on the Friday, say 4-6pm. The kids would have an hour of bowling then food so would be having dinner at dinner time. He thinks this is too late for 4/5 year olds. I think it’s fine. Friday night so no school next day. I would be more than happy for DD to do this. Something nice at the end of the school week and they come home fed and watered and saves me a job!
AIBU? Would you be happy for your 4/5 year old to go to a Friday afternoon party?!

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseAndBeans · 14/09/2018 09:49

Also to add, it’s slightly cheaper on the Friday!

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 14/09/2018 09:51

I agree with your husband. By Friday afternoon my son (also 5) is utterly knackered and only wants down-time.

I’d have it one of the weekend days myself.

Charm23 · 14/09/2018 09:51

Sounds like your DH doesn't want to go bowling with a bunch of 5yo to me because your suggestion sounds perfect.

NonaGrey · 14/09/2018 09:52

Either plan is fine. Though Saturday is a bit safer for attendance.

4-6pm would have been fine for my kids at 5yo.

The only slight negative about Friday evening is that you might bump up against extracurricular activities like Rainbows or Cubs.

Working parents who use afterschool care might struggle to get the kids there for 4pm also.

I’d sound out your DDs best friend’s Mums and see how they are placed.

Original poster
CheeseAndBeans · 14/09/2018 09:54

That’s another worry, my DD would be fine but I know others might be tired by that point.

Haha yeah bowling with a bunch of 5 year olds isn’t his idea of fun (mine neither tbh!) but even if he couldn’t go on the Friday I think it would be better then anyway... hmmm

OP posts:
Orangedaisy · 14/09/2018 09:54

4-6 on a Friday wouldn’t work for my 4 year old (reception). Way too tired and I also have a baby to get to bed-they are going in the bath at 5.45pm at the moment. Weekend much better.

mashpot · 14/09/2018 09:55

I would agree that you may be up against clubs etc - if not for the 5 yo then their older siblings. All the parties my kids go to are on the weekend.

Original poster
CheeseAndBeans · 14/09/2018 09:56

Thanks Nona, didn’t think of that re working parents (SAHP for what seems like forever!)

OP posts:
NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 14/09/2018 10:29

I'd rather do 4-6 on a Friday tbh as it frees up weekend time.
Sounds like your partner wants to leave the hard work of dealing with the party to you.

garethsouthgatesmrs · 14/09/2018 10:34

I have a 5 yr old. I prefer weekend parties and think you are likely to get fewer tears and tantrums if you do it on the Sunday. You can do it at 10-12 or something so you still have an afternoon to recover!! In our area parents would stay anyway for 5 year olds.

brummiesue · 14/09/2018 10:37

No way would my 5yr old manage 4-6 on a friday, hes exhausted after a week in school and it would completely mess up my other childrens bedtime routine, if you want the rest of the weekend free do 10-12/ 11-1 sat am, much better.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 14/09/2018 10:38

I think DH is right, some of the kids will be only just 4 and still getting used to school. You might end up with tears and tantrums.

aperolspritzplease · 14/09/2018 10:40

5 is too young for a bowling party. Do a weekend church hall party, save the bowling / activity parties for when they're older. It's the norm here to do a whole class party in R and they get smaller as they go up the years.

Parents always stayed for reception parties too.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 14/09/2018 10:41

For Reception children, I’d say it’s too late on a Friday this early in the (school) year - they’re pretty much all shattered by then. I think you’ll have a much nicer time on the Sunday.

AnnieAnoniMoose · 14/09/2018 10:43

Of course it’s not ‘too young’ for a bowling party and it’s what she wants, if she wanted a church hall party with the entire class I’m sure she’d have asked for that...

SimplyPut · 14/09/2018 10:43

Couldn't you have family round after school on Friday and then the party on Saturday?

Shednik · 14/09/2018 10:49

I think the Friday is better.
You'll probably find that parents stay so you might end up with siblings there too.
You won't please everyone whatever you do so do what suits you best.

Any working parents, offer to take their child and drop them home after?

Tubbyinthehottub · 14/09/2018 10:51

I wouldn't do Friday. Some people will still be at work and even for those who aren't, 4pm doesn't leave much time for them to pick up, go home and get changed and then get them to the party. Unless your school finishes really early.

FannyFifer · 14/09/2018 11:02

I'd much rather have my kids going to the Friday party then have the weekend for family.
Perfect time as well.

sharpstick · 14/09/2018 11:04

I think you’ll find that if a child wants to go to a party, the parent will usually find a way of getting them there if possible.

I don’t think 4-6 is too late on a Friday evening, my children have attended parties at that time at that age (bowling included) but then I’ve never been overly precious about them being a little tired or flexing bedtime for a special occasion. I know some parents are, I agree with a pp that it would be easiest to sound out your dds friends parents to ask. I know that my dcs friends parents would be fine.

4/5 is not too young for bowling, and it’s what your dd has asked for, the advice to change the party is absurd. My children are much older than yours and one thing Ive learned is that being all pfb is a waste of energy, you sound like you have the right idea, a break from routine or ‘what most reception parents do’ wont do the children any harm at all.

But sound out those parents first

User467 · 14/09/2018 11:10

I think you'll find some will be fine with the Friday plan and others won't. I suppose it depends on the arrangements. Are you planning to collect all the children from school and take them bowling then return them or are you expecting parents to do that? If you're expecting parents to do it then you'll probably get a few nos for the reasons other have given and if you're planning to do it 7 five year olds is quite an undertaking to transport/supervise etc.

Why not do the bowling party on the Saturday then have family back at the house after? Why do they have to be on seperate days? It's not very often your actual birthday falls on a Saturday so I'd let her have her party on the Saturday

Merryoldgoat · 14/09/2018 11:20

It’s nothing to do with not bending routines or being overly precious in my son’s case - he would be too tired and I don’t want to deal with the meltdown. Sure, not all kids, obviously, but I doubt mine is the only one who’d be like that.

Original poster
CheeseAndBeans · 14/09/2018 11:36

Mmm mixed responses. I wouldn’t be taking them all, school finishes at 3 so would give an hour to change/get there. It’s about 10 minutes drive from the school.

Might do what some have said and sound out a couple of parents (her 2 best friends as that would be a deal breaker if they couldn’t come!). Saturday morning is a good shout too. Maybe 11-1 so over lunchtime then back to house for family in the afternoon. Was just thinking about sorting stuff at home (shoving a load of sausage rolls etc in the oven!) but I could do that Friday eve I suppose.

We have been bowling loads of times and DD2 who is 2 loves it too. I don’t think it’s too young, and as she has asked for it we won’t be changing to a hall party. I know lots of people do whole class parties but I won’t be. 30 odd kids to feed/entertain in a hall is my idea of hell! Plus the costs add up. I like the idea of turning up with a cake and party bags then getting out of there without the stress/clean up!

OP posts:
ThreeAnkleBiters · 14/09/2018 11:40

I'd count my lucky stars that DD wants a nice simple bowling party everyone did church hall parties for 5 year old round my way and they're so stressful!

TeddybearBaby · 14/09/2018 11:47

I LOVE a Friday night kids party. Kids get fed and tired out from school and party. Get home, bath time and bed. Mine defo wouldn’t be too tired either fwiw. What’s more exciting than going to a bowling party after school, the adrenaline would kick in for sure. Enjoy, whatever you decide!!