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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How much to spend on DD?

70 replies

l0stmummy · 14/09/2018 01:12

It's DDs birthday at the beginning of December, and then Christmas too. She will be one. DH is saying £50 all together because she's not going to remember it and family will go crazy. But I don't think that'll get her anything, let alone two separate days worth of presents. Christmas was a flop last year (living with my mother with DH and DD in a tiny box room, in a house of 10 people). I really want our first actual Christmas as the three of us to be memorable, and DD will only have 1 first birthday. AIBU to want to spend more than just £50 for her gifts? DH really thinks it's irrelevant.

OP posts:
Sierra259 · 14/09/2018 06:45

Agree with pp's. At one, she won't care about anything except a couple of new noisy toys, trying to eat the wrapping paper and smearing cake everywhere. If you want to spend more, what about a junior ISA or premium bonds that you can add to over time and that will benefit her later?

CaveMaman · 14/09/2018 06:46

She won't remember. I got my ds a drum for his first birthday, he played with it for all of around 5 seconds.

Honestly, at one they don't really care.

Or like pp said, get her something that will appreciate in value - my mum gave my dnephew (first grandchild) a couple of paintings that have already increased in value for his 1st birthday, and he's only five. Wish she'd do the same for my ds, but there's 5 grandchildren now so probably too expensive for her.

Sleephead1 · 14/09/2018 06:48

I would and did spend more than that. We got a smart trike which was used loads over the years so was good value . Could you maybe start a collection of something you can get some gorgeous wooden toys that are such good quality and can grow with her and add to it every occasion. Look at babipur they do lovley things for children all ethical aswell. I would also get some nice books and for Christmas a stocking even if its just things like a little bath toy , flannel, new socks, crayons ECT. it's her first birthday and Christmas and I would enjoy every minute of celebrating

PrincessHairyMclary · 14/09/2018 07:07

You would be better spending money on a lot f cheap things that she will actually play with. I once brought DD a whole roll of bubble wrap and she spent HOURS playing with it. Cardboard boxes she can get into and colour. DD is nearly 9 and still loves a cardboard box. A foil blanket used for runners in a laundry basket or box your DC can get into with some flashing balls is good as a sensory toy. The expensive dolls house and kitchen never got played with and just sit in her room collecting dust.

I would also buy a special ornament for the tree r a snow globe or something, then add to it each year. You could then gift them to her when she gets her own home.

BlackeyedSusan · 14/09/2018 07:14

dd got a slide for her bedroom. (we do not have a garden) which lasted her several years.

Creasey31 · 14/09/2018 07:23

We didn’t get our DS anything for his first Christmas he had lots of presents from other family and friends and I knew what they were so didn’t need anything else. There are also tons of sales between now and December so you could get a couple of good gifts for £50.

nokidshere · 14/09/2018 07:25

For the first 3 years of second sons life his birthday/Xmas presents from us were his older brothers old toys lavishly wrapped and with big boxes. Family & friends bought so much it wasn't worth us paying out money for more.

Beargoesgrr · 14/09/2018 07:25

She will have far more fun playing with the box! £60 can go quite far, if you’re having a bit of a get together remember she will have all the presents from family etc, and she won’t know, or care, or probably even unwrap the presents.

Wait until she’s 3-4 when she will be able to open the presents and actually enjoy them!

PattiStanger · 14/09/2018 07:29

Don't waste money for the sake of it for a 1 year old. They really don't know what's going or care about presents.

Imo £50 is far to much unless you're buying something you would be buying anyway.

TimberTot · 14/09/2018 07:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Eliza9917 · 14/09/2018 07:32

For her first birthday what do you think will make her happy? A little cake with candles, maybe a balloon, essentially all she needs is happy, loving family there.
It’s really not about what you spend or buy.
Christmas, well, I’m sure a 1yr old will enjoy the lights, warmth of a happy environment, tree, and leaving a carrot out for Rudolph.
It’s not all about money. 1yr olds really are not going to remember what they got for Christmas,they might, however, remember mummy and daddy hanging up a stocking (that was filled with fruit,chocolate and stocking fillers

What she said.

PolkerrisBeach · 14/09/2018 07:35

a bit sad that you think the way to create a lovely day is to throw money at it

Couldn't agree more.

Fluffywuffyunicorn · 14/09/2018 07:35

I'm not sure pps are realising that the £50 Is to be split, so £25 for birthday and £25 for Christmas.

If you do want to keep a small budget then the argos 2 for 15 have some good toys, and buy cheap toys from toys for a pound, or pound toys.

ItWentInMyEye · 14/09/2018 07:36

I agree with your husband. For my DS's first Christmas I bought things like a wooden bell stick/rain stick and put them into proper gift boxes which to him was like a double gift!

Drizzledrozzle · 14/09/2018 07:38

I have spent barely that every year so far and DD is turning 5 on a few weeks.
They don't need more spent! They will likely get things from grandparents and other relatives and friends, and even if they don't they have no expectation of a huge pile of presents. Seriously save your money until they're older and will appreciate it, or better still never get them into the habit of expecting 15 big gifts for each occasion.

Definitely agree wrap things like new toothbrush, pj's, socks, hair clips up, also baby wash etc if you want to make more presents. When they're little you can even wrap up nappies if you think they'll enjoy the unwrapping.

And if you can encourage other relatives to give a token gift and contribute towards a savings account. All those £10/20/50 will be a lot more use when they're 18 and looking for a deposit for a flat / going on a gap year etc

averythinline · 14/09/2018 07:40

we did a combination of cheap and long lasting!

had a large pearlised balloon in a box (and a spare) with shiny wrapping papr on teh box and spome big bubble wrap around it..
on the day and over the next couple days they were ds absoute favourite things

a bubble machine that worked in the bathroom as well and big bottle of bubbles- got lots of value from that

and a tripp trapp chair (other makes are around now) which was worth its weight in gold - with the infant set of cushions..

for christmas - yep another balloon in a box(possibly 2 slightly smaller ones shiny ones-seriously the joy)

and a thats not my xxxxx book and a textile christmas book..

and some happy land figures- and I got a second hand happyland pirate ship which lasted years....

we were given some brio - again a good investment present even if not used massively at 1.... as was a start that could add to

my mum found a fabric 'photo' album that you could put your own pictures in which she filled with picture of his world...

my brother brought him some musical instruments Grin

my friends family bought a wooden noahs ark thing for xmas and added an animal/character a year.....

yes she wont need much but it still nice to mark occasins with some thought :)

QueenEnid · 14/09/2018 07:41

I got my DD an Ikea kitchen for her first birthday and I think a little Melissa and Doug train set for Christmas last year. The kitchen was £45 in the family event and the train was £12.99 from TKMaxx.

My DS will be 1 this December and he will be getting something small for his birthday and Christmas. Probably some books or something. As a PP said, they play with the boxes anyway so for us it's not really a priority to buy them big things at this age.

Original poster
l0stmummy · 14/09/2018 07:42

I didn't mean to come across that way! Of course all that matters is DD being happy. Thanks for the suggestions. I didn't even think about her getting overwhelmed! And looks like a box is the way to go Wink

OP posts:
ErnestTheBavarian · 14/09/2018 07:49

Agree with dh. In fact, I'd be inclined to spend less and put the money aside. She will have too much stuff anyway, guaranteed. We have a tiny family, my dc get few present, but the still have/had way more than they needed.

Fwiw, we now no longer give birthday presents as such. Our dc are obv older, but our dc get a weekend away with 1 parent (lots of siblings, so this is precious 1-2-1 time) They can choose a souvenir. This is obviously more expensive than presents, but they have really special memories, and experiences which are invaluable, last forever, and much more fun than a random bit of tat (or even $$$ fancy wooden, hand carved keep sake).

Start saving now for your birthday trips away ! Smile

Ragwort · 14/09/2018 07:51

Seriously, do not waste your money on a child so young. Be honest, it's more for you than your child to want the whole 'present experience '. We never got into the 'big' expensive present giving experience, preferring to save money for our DS (& set up a pension for him from Day 1 Grin). He's a teenager now & delighted that he has enough money to buy his first car. As others have said, most children are overwhelmed with too many gifts, let alone the waste to the environment and raising a generation of entitled children who only equate the season of Christmas with presents.

reluctantbrit · 14/09/2018 07:57

When DD turned 1 she had 3 presents from us and 2 from the grandparents. Apart from one gift she was more interested in the paper, got cranky after opening package no, 3 and in the weeks to come she preferred playing with my kitchen drawers than the toys she got.

My best memory is her face stuffed with cake and cream, smiling broadly.

1 is an awful age to get presents, 18 months is so much better. If I would be you u, get her some bits to open, if you have the space something like a ride on toy which may last a while. Then put money aside and get her outdoor toys and pretend play toys in the next couple of months to come.

Scottishgirl85 · 14/09/2018 07:57

We spent quite a bit on birthdays and Christmas early on, but it was things that have had an amazing amount of use. Think about the toys she'll use for the next year now that she's presumably walking or almost walking. So walkers, rocking horse, activity table are all good ideas for a main gift. Outdoor toys are in the sale now but will be great for your dd come next summer. Next size clothes, slippers etc. All useful things that she'll need.

Airaforce · 14/09/2018 07:59

Fill a massive box with helium balloons so when you undo the ribbon the balloons will float out. Both of my dc loved this for their first birthdays and that's all they played with. I left the big spend for another time.

Rainbowqueeen · 14/09/2018 08:03

I'd reset my thinking. Memorable does not mean expensive.

Think about your own childhood memories and what stands out to you. Then try and replicate that.

I remember the traditions that we had around special occasions and that's what I focus on. So on their birthdays I measure the kids against a certain wall so we can see how much they have grown. For Christmas you might like to get her an ornament for the tree each year. Or bake with her each year. Or buy a special Christmas book and read it to her each year.

Money doesn't create memories. Love and thoughtfulness does that. Then buy the cash in the bank for her or buy premium bonds or something like that

thegreylady · 14/09/2018 08:04

I got dgs a bean bag with tractors on it for his first Christmas (he was 10 months). It is still used and he is 9 now. Another favourite was one of those huge board books which makes into a vehicle. I got one for my cousin’s dgd last Christmas. It cost under £15 and she loves sitting in it with her teddies.

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