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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To share office gossip: affair?

56 replies

Wauden · 13/09/2018 20:55

Posting as can't gossip in the office about this!
I think there is an affair going on in thr office. Nothing new about that.

Evidence so far-
Saw N (female) and C (male) returning to the office at 5 to 3 this afternoon, then I checked their dairies and theirs was both blank at that time. She all artificially breezy; her boss is away this week.
They left one day at same time and he had shifty look.
N and C laughing and flirting late in afternoon, when he normally avoids everyone and has head phones on.
They work in different teams, so no need to go out of office together.

Further gossip- he has form, as his best friend was dumped by girlfriend, then C goes out with that girl shortly after. The very upset best friend says, either you chose her or me, and C chose the girl over the best friend. No more best friend.

Opinions?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wauden · 13/09/2018 21:52

I get it that people sometimes have to meet away from others to discuss confidential matters etc, and that people might notice and come to the completely wrong conclusion. Or the right one. But in the current case it could be shallow gossip. Obviously not like in this case. Obviously. Not like me to gossip.

OP posts:
Rebecca36 · 13/09/2018 21:54

Eeeewwww. I wouldn't care about the shag but would about them not cleaning themselves up afterwards. Gross.

Office gossip is dreadful and frequently incorrect.

AnyFucker · 13/09/2018 21:56

Not like you to gossip ?

Sure, honey

Original poster
Wauden · 13/09/2018 21:57

RaingodsWithZippos Grin

OP posts:
Ariela · 13/09/2018 22:10

Why don't you concentrate on your work?

bawbles · 13/09/2018 22:15

I occasionally go for a walk at lunchtime with a lovely man from my office. We work in a beautiful area of the countryside so head off into the woods just the two of us.He isn't part of my team and I have no reason to meet him other than enjoying his company. We also go for dinner after work sometimes with another (female) colleague.

We walk pretty fast so often come back pink cheeked and breathless. If anyone ever suspected us of having an affair (we are both married) I'd find it hilarious and preposterous in equal measure.

He is delightful but I don't fancy him one iota. I think office gossip is hilarious. I've heard some bonkers tales but don't notice detail about others myself.

MaisyPops · 13/09/2018 22:16

Why do people pretend not to notice anything at work? Are people suggesting that from 9-5 their 100% undivided attention and thoughts are on work tasks exclusively? Confused

I can't be arsed with people who sit and gossip in the staff room, but even I notice if a couple of colleagues are flirting, spend a lot of time together etc. I can think of 2 people who I wouldn't have been surprised if they were having a fling. Never once mentioned it in work and don't care for office stirring but it wasn't exactly time consuming to pick up on some flirting.

YouAlwaysTry · 13/09/2018 22:23

Has no one said anything or noticed?

MaisyPops · 13/09/2018 22:28

YouAlwaysTry
I would imagine people might have noticed but wouldn't have said. There's no way on earth i would sit at work and speculate about who was up to what, but I would privately notice

Original poster
Wauden · 13/09/2018 22:33

@ Bawbles - it must be lovely to work in the countryside like that.
@ MaisyPops - yep, it takes seconds of a 8 hour day.
@ YouAlwaysTry - no way would I mention it to anyone in the office, hence MN!

OP posts:
londonrach · 13/09/2018 22:43

I wish something exciting happened at my work like this. I work nhs and tbh dont have time to go to the toilet let alone anything else or even gossip about any work colleagues who equally dont have time to go to the toilet. We missing out here!!!!

Original poster
Wauden · 14/09/2018 22:40

@ londonrach, I'll never see the NHS in the same way again!

OP posts:
MrsStrowman · 14/09/2018 22:47

There were whispers about me and a male colleague like this (both managers), because we always had an external meeting booked for the same time on a Friday afternoon for around an hour. I'm happily married and he's gay and in a very long term relationship (second bit is not common knowledge with staff), we were sneaking off for a pint because we knew the chief exec also based in our office was in a conference at that time every Friday and we didn't have the luxury of early doors on a Friday unlike all the other managers not co-located with SMT

Original poster
Wauden · 15/09/2018 21:42

@MrsStrowman, great story! So, who was the chief exec 'in conference' with every Friday?

OP posts:
TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 15/09/2018 21:49

IME instincts about office affairs are usually spot on. But snooping at their diaries? Yeah, totally something I'd too Blush

Original poster
Wauden · 15/09/2018 22:26

Looking at diaries is easy as ours are all online and open to everyone in the office... its all open to all... Grin

OP posts:
MrsStrowman · 15/09/2018 22:28

@Wauden it was a teleconference with a senior minister, so she was definitely in there! If the blinds were turned the right way you could see her. Plenty of actual affairs and flings going on in my industry though, that's what made it so funny they suspected us

Original poster
Wauden · 15/09/2018 22:37

@MrsStrowman, that would make me giggle, too. I guess you couldn't exactly say 'its perfectly innocent, he's ...' oops.
The office I worked in once was heaving with flings and I admit I added to the number of them. Would not repeat it, though.

OP posts:
Ethylred · 15/09/2018 22:41

This office is completely disgraceful.
Please can I have a job there?

DayManChampionOfTheSun · 15/09/2018 22:52

People once thought I was having an affair with a bloke at work, the gossip mill went mental after they saw us leaving work together. They knew both of us had a partner, but not anything about them. I heard someone say we should be ashamed, what if our other halves found out, blah blah blah.

What they didn't know was that we were each others dp, we had actually been together about 5 years at that point and lived together nearly as long hahaha. We did let the cat out of the bag eventually but it was fun to wind them up.

Original poster
Wauden · 15/09/2018 22:54

@Ethylred, can you start next Monday? The stories I could tell...

OP posts:
Original poster
Wauden · 15/09/2018 23:08

I once helped the chief executive with one of his other research projects, nothing to do with our organisation, though. He invited me into his office and he asked if he could do anything to help me. I whipped out a report from my handbag and said, well actually, there's something that would be good for everyone... not for my benefit, though. Oh, goody two shoes that I was. He came up trumps.

Returned to the office and my boss asked whether the CE had head hunted me for his office... wink wink. I preferred to stay in my specialism. I did milk it for a bit.

OP posts:
theculture · 16/09/2018 06:49

There's one at my work, two nice people mid 50's - both have partners

It's going to get messy as some point Sad

flumpybear · 16/09/2018 07:05

Love a good scandal, but I'm piss poor at spotting them Wink

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 16/09/2018 07:19

I notice stuff like this all the time. I don't blame you for posting here about it - sometimes you just need to talk about it.

My office are all on an overnight social next week and I've already started idly wondering who will end up sleeping with whom. I do this idly as I make myself a cup of tea.

Totally idle as everyone is getting their own room, so hopefully no gossip or reputations damage will occur.

Fun to wonder though.

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