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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ignore this message til Tuesday?

5 replies

PurpleMac · 13/09/2018 17:55

I'm due to return to work in just over a week, following my adoption leave. My manager sprung it on me last week that they have restructured and don't have a role for me anymore. Because I'm on a loan from another department, they haven't acted illegally and intended to just give 4 weeks notice on my loan agreement to send me back to my old department, who he had already been in touch with to find me an appropriate role. He had known about this for weeks but only told me last week. He did also say if I wanted to stay on til the end of my loan agreement (early next year) I could do so but it would mean doing some project work in a different office. I agreed to this.

He informed my old department that I would be staying on with them until the end of my loan agreement but they were adamant they had the perfect role for me and wanted me back, so he told them to discuss it with me. Having had that discussion today, I have decided to return to my old department. They actually want me and haven't humiliated me by going behind my back and keeping me out of the loop.

My current manager has just messaged me to see if I had spoken to my old team. I'm literally about an hour away from the airport, heading off for a long impromptu weekend away to get away from the stress of it all. I will be heading back to my old team in 6 weeks, so don't have to give notice yet, although my old team have advised that they will handle the discussions with my current line manager because they think it will be better for my "mental health and wellbeing" to have as little to do with them as possible.

WIBU to ignore his message until I come back from my weekend away on Tuesday? I'm technically on annual leave anyway, and I really don't want to get into any discussions with him that could result in him wanting to give 4 weeks notice on the agreement (meaning I go back to old team two weeks sooner). I also want him to squirm a little bit - all of his 'negotiations' that he was doing completely behind my back when I was preparing to return to work, when he knew the whole time he didn't have a job for me to come back to. I want him to feel out of the loop just like I have.

It's been an extremely stressful situation and has brought back a lot of my anxiety issues. I just want a few days of not having to think about it. WIBU to ignore his message until next week?

OP posts:
li1972 · 13/09/2018 17:58

Yes, I'd ignore I'm afraid. Once on leave, work stuff is ignored until back in work.

PurpleMac · 13/09/2018 17:58

I should add, I have a lot of annual leave left to take which means I won't be returning to my current team at all. Which is fine because they don't have any work for me to do anyway (and if they don't agree to using up my leave, I intend to go sick for a few weeks because the last 2 week's are already booked off as annual leave anyway). I also have no shame in going sick because I've not had a day off sick in the 3 years I have been there and this has caused me a hell of a lot of stress and anxiety.

OP posts:
PurpleMac · 13/09/2018 18:23

Thanks li. I'm just usually always contactable and he will know I am ignoring him. But I don't feel like I owe him anything anymore anyway.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 13/09/2018 18:32

Can you just send a message saying, "Sorry, am about to get onto a plane and won't have wifi until Tuesday. Will reply on my return, but in the meantime you can speak to Manager about this."

You will remain professional but not engage.

PurpleMac · 13/09/2018 18:46

Hollow I suppose the issue is that he has specifically asked "Have you spoken to X yet? Did you manage to shake them off?" (I.e. tell them I'm not interested in going back, which is the impression he was under) so any response needs to answer the question really, because it's a simple yes or no. I don't want to tell him anything at all, I want the manager in my old team to discuss it with him next week as we agreed.

OP posts:
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