Sick of people interfering

[emilyb92]

I don't know if I'm been unreasonable but my DD great auntie is driving me nuts! She constantly tries to tell me how to raise my child, I mentioned I was going to get my DD christened and she went out behind our backs and got her a christening dress even though I explained previously it was something personal that id like to do. Now she has gone and got DD a "my first Christmas" outfit without asking and again I find it a personal thing that me and her dad wanted to do. I have even offered her to come dress shopping with us so that she felt part of it but in stead she has just gone behind my back this was with the christening. She makes horrible comments about my family and reminds me how DD has her blood in her but I'm not family because me and DD dad isn't married yet. I'm so angry and don't know what to do without lashing out. She has even gone and got a tattoo of DD name and DOB again without even asking. I feel like she is trying to take over. Please help any advice would be great am I over reacting?

I have no idea why she is obsessed to be honest she doesn't like her nephew happy she interfered with his last relationship of four years till she broke them up and she used to always compare me to her when we first got together which nearly caused us to break up and I think this is just another way of trying to control the situation that's What she seems to like control

Well firstly anyone who gets someone elses child's name and dob on them is fucking batshit.

The dress issue is important now how you handle it, you really need to put her in different dresses. So you say you want to buy her a dress, tell the great auntie, then she goes and buys it without you, you say thank you, then toss in a bag at the end of your wardrobe, buy your own and when she says "but that's not the one I bought her" you smile and say "No I told you I was buying her one, she can wear yours another time" if you keep buying your own and not using hers she will eventually get tired of it, if she has a tantrum (and I suspect she will) just simply say "I told you I wanted to buy it, you weren't worried about my feelings so I won't be worrying about yours"

She's a great aunt, not even a granny, she's practically the neighbours cats second cousin through marriage, just tell her back the fuck off

And with the tattoo you should have looked horrified and said "eh, why would you get a distant relatives nsme tattooed on you? That's so weird". Start using "distant", separate yourself from the crazy lady and definitely stop including her in shopping trips

my partner always sticks up for his family

What are you if not his family? His loyalties need to change.

Is she desperate for her own grandchildren?

Op she is your great aunt, so that makes you her sister/brother grand daughter? And your daughter is her sister/brothers great grand daughter?

Does she have no kids of her own?..if she doesn't then she may be looking upon her brother/sisters kids, (your parent) grandkids (you) and great grandkids (your daughter) as the nearest thing she will ever get to having her own and over compensating , or maybe she wants to be involved and doesn't expect to be asked to be involved? (Maybe you could give her a little task that is not important but would make her feel like she is part of the day and then she might stop trying to control the big stuff like your babys christening outfit)

I just read the op again, she is your partners great aunt not yours...are you on a good relationship with partners parents?..could they have a little.word with her?..

Your partner needs to deal with her from now on. Stay very distant, keep her at arm's length.

I'd be wondering if she's actually your partners mother and he doesn't know it to be honest. Thus making her the child's grandmother. Because that's how she's behaving.

How old would she have been when your partner was born? How old is his mother? Is she his mothers sister or fathers?

Or is it perhaps due to having been unable to have children herself?

You also need to address this with your partner. As ever on in law threads he's going along with the awkward in law because they cause him more grief than you do. Change that right now! He needs to know that YOU and DC are the priority now NOT the DISTANT in laws.

Perhaps try oh thank you that's really kind but it's really a parents job so please don't be offended as we have different plans for xyz outfit..... cake, party ... etc it'll never stop!