To not invite my "D"sis to my dc's birthday?

[birthdaydilema]

So dc1 is turning 2 soon and people are asking what we're doing.

I'm very low contact with my sister. We've never gotten on and IMO she's just not a very nice person.

She's the golden child and can never do anything wrong in my parents eyes. If I don't invite her shit is well and truly going to hit the fan. I will probably get an aggressive phone call from my Dad (which usually works) and a refusal to come unless she's invited.

I invited her to my dc's 1st birthday which I regret and selfishly don't want to invite her to this one or any for that matter. I don't want her to build a relationship with my dc because she's not someone I'd choose to have around them?

Would you invite people you don't like to your dc's parties? AIBU to stand firm on this one for once in my life?!

YANBU

Definitely don't invite her. If people question it just tell them she doesn't have young children and its a kids birthday party. (Assuming she doesnt)

Don't invite her. If your dad gets aggressive about it do you really want him there either.

Children's birthday parties are for their friends and accompanying carers usually with grandparents thrown in (to help). For a toddler that usually means the children of your friends/toddler group attendees etc. So you are definately not being unreasonable.

Don’t invite your dad either

Honestly don’t. If he questions it say well I’m not inviting my sister and I’m not being guilt tripped into it so I saved you the bother of trying. Take back the control

Tell them all to fuck off.

If your dad would rather trample over you for her why do you even want him there

Yanbu. If your dad bullies you and threatens not to come, tell him fine, he's no longer welcome either.

Adults don’t generally take offence at not being invited to a two year old’s birthday party?
Isn’t it just for your friends who have similarly aged children?!
Who else is going?

Why do you regret inviting her to the1st party? Or you could have it in soft play - no one goes voluntarily without having their own child.

Just invite your friends with toddlers, don’t invite any family at all this year. After the first birthday it is optional re family

Why do you have to have a party? Maybe just have a family day out instead.

No don't invite her and when your Dad calls and says he is not going just say "That's a pity, you need to realise though that we don't have the relationship you have so this will always be the situation, just before you starting emotionally blackmailing me and opting out of your grandchilds occasions when I don't back down, have a nice day" beep beep beep

Do you have any friends with children of a similar age? You did the family party for the first birthday last year. As children get older, you tend to invite friends more and family less. Perhaps you could just do a little tea party one day and have your parents over a different day. That way no one gets invited as it’s not an extended family event and your dc doesn’t get overwhelmed with all the attention afterall we wouldn’t want that now, would we?

Thanks all for the replies.

I don't particularly want him there either to be honest, it's either his way or no way and I'm a bit sick of it to be honest. I'm exhausted with the constant attempts at controlling everything and then the overly emotional shite that follows. I'm worried my dc will resent me when they're older if I don't allow them to build a close relationship with their grandparents. PIL are wonderful and they'll have a very close relationship with them but I still worry!

It's all for keeping up appearances to the wider family, they would find it embarrassing if my other sibling (who I get on well with) was invited and she wasn't.

Balls to their feelings they clearly don’t put yours first so give them a taste of their own. Don’t invite him either if you don’t want to it’s your sons birthday invite the people you want there.

I hate this emotional blackmail
Don’t invite her
End of

I'm worried my dc will resent me when they're older if I don't allow them to build a close relationship with their grandparents

I think they are more likely to resent you if you let other family members ruin their birthdays.

I'd go with whats best for your DCs and you

I am a grandparent. My relationship with my DGC is a privilege not a right.

Your DC will lose nothing by not being in contact with toxic people.