To still be upset over this (witnessing child abuse at the airport)

[Linning]

Took a flight with Volotea a few days ago and while waiting to board my plane I happened to be standing right behind a family with 3 young children (all under 6 I would say) within seconds of standing next to them the older son got smacked in the face by his father (almost hitting me in the process), I was shocked because I hadn't seen the child do anything wrong (not that it would be justified anyway) but thought I might have missed some big thing happening and tried and "brushed it off" but then for the 40 minutes of standing in line as our flight got delayed, I saw the father litterally torture his children, smacking his oldest one repeatedly and pulling his ear, pulling his younger daughter's hair, the worst of all was the one or two year old being dragged by his hair repeatedly and hit in the face with a bag and constantly smacked when they were doing absolutely nothing wrong. This man was just on a power trip and the mother obviously probably victim of her husband played blind. As time went on many people started getting quite outraged at what was going on but remained quiet. Considering the violence of it all in front of everyone, staff included I cannot begin to imagine what those children go through at home.

When boarding finally started I took it upon myself to ask if anything could be done for these children to the staff in charge of the boarding or if I could at least get their names to contact social services once home (it was a flight from abroad to my hometown and I knew the family was from my hometown) but they brushed it off and said I should try and ask the staff on board of the plane so I waited until we reached our destination and for everyone to exit the plane and then described the situation to the staff again and asked if I could have the names of the parents ( I had heard the name of the oldest boy and they were the only family with children on our flight so I figured it would be easy to find out who they were with that information!) but because I didn't know their exact seat (they were seating a few rows behind me and once they had left it was hard for me to recall which exact rows they were at) they said they couldn't give me the information.

Got to passport control and again was last to be checked so explained the situation again to one of the policeman which pretty much said nothing could be done because I had "no proof" but when I asked if I would have been allowed to film the children/scene they said "it's a delicate matter and he wasn't sure?" His female colleague was much more understanding and could tell straight away who I was talking about and was more keen to try and do something but the policeman kept on saying that nothing could be done because he hadn't seen it with his eyes (even though MANY passengers had also witnessed it though I might have been the only one with enough gut to speak up) , left to pick up my luggage and heard the father yell at his oldest son " Just wait and see I will fucking kill you! I swear to God I am gonna fucking kill the shit out of you!" while people watched gobsmacked.

Reported it again, but AGAIN cops weren't present at the time it happened. They stayed after that and I had to go so not sure whether the father would have had the guts to act like he did in front of them (and he probably clearly saw me talk about him to them) and not sure they would have done anything but warned him if he did but am I unreasonable to still be pissed 4 days later, that so many people watched and did nothing and the people who could do something refused to ?

If I had any kind of suspicions that said man was a terrorist I am sure he would have at the very least be taken aside for an interrogation without me needing proof, yet he has shown extreme violence towards his children in front of many witnesses (including staff) and yet nothing can be done and he can happily board the plane when many are refused boarding for even just raising their voice at a stewardess?

I am still genuinely furious that someone could so openly beat his children like that and I can't help but dread to imagine what those children must endure daily. I am also SO mad at the mother for standing by and watching it happen. No doubt in my mind that she is also a victim of his violence but she has had three children with him, no doubt she is terrified but she should stand up for them and I am angry she doesn't. My father was a violent man and I grew up seeing stuff I shouldn't have seen so I might be biased, but am I unreasonable to still not be over it? I am also mad at myself for not directly confronting him and actually physically stopping the violence at the airport but I was scared it would make him more angry and likely to lash out on the children at the time or later just to prove a point. I wish I did though.But is there anything else I could do to try and get the name of the parents considering I have all the information regarding my flights and the name of one of the children? I am thinking of contacting Volotea again to try and see if there is any way I can get this information as I genuinely feel something must be done to try and get those children out of the grip of their father but don't have much hope they will help me out (it sure has put me off flying with them) but if there is anything I haven't thought about that I could do, I would be pleased to hear.

(Everyone involved is French if that makes any difference.)

The police should have taken a statement. What kind of language did you use. If you had said 'I wish to report an assault.' or something along those lines that may have forced the police to take the matter more seriously.

That sounds horrendous - those poor kids. It sounds like you did all you could to report it and well done for having the guts to speak up. It seems that all too often people tend to just avert their eyes and pretend it’s not happening - as you saw. I’m not sure what else can be done for those kids but it may be a good idea to complain to the airline about the lack of any meaningful investigation. As you say - if you had worries about terrorism or even if the passenger was really drunk they probably would have done something. Nothing more to add really, I do hope the kids are okay. DV is an awful, awful thing.

I would report to the police again and ask them to check for cctv I mean if you see someone say shiploft and report it to the police they still come and check cctv , they don't usually see people actually commit the crime but investigate it and look at cctv , talk to witnesses ECT

@Racecardriver At the staff in Spain (country we left from) I spoke in Spanish which I speak fluently so the family wouldn't hear (to protect the children from any kind of revenge from the father) and to make sure nothing was lost in translation (the staff could clearly see it happening anyway!) and they just said they couldn't do anything and I should speak to the staff on board. I then spoke French with the cops in France and I am not sure what my exact words were but I am pretty sure I said something along the lines of " Considering you are from the police force I have something to ask, there was a father assaulting his children at the Spanish airport present in my flight and here is what I witnessed (detailed description of what happened) what can be done about it and is there anyway I can get the names of this family and report it? "

That's when he said without proof and him witnessing it himself he couldn't do much.

@sleephead1 so should I report it to the French police (the family is French) ? The CCTV tapes would have to be obtained from Spain though as we left from there. Not sure where the cameras were located but he was violent in various areas of where we were waiting at so I am sure there would be some proof of it somewhere.

Oooh, this happened in France. Sorry, I though these were British officers. The French are known for very antiquated attitudes re child abuse/corporal punishment. Very sad. I suppose you could have tried to kick up a fuss until they did sonething but it seems unlikely given how reluctant the officer was.

I very much doubt you'd be given their details OP. Data protection.

In your shoes I would have confronted him myself. I wouldn't have been able to stop myself after the first incident. The more these scumbags are called out the better. I don't buy the 'I better ignore it, in case they take it out on the child later'.

I have ILs from France. Pulling hair seems to be par for the course. SIL has had the sharp end of my tongue for that.

@racecardriver Yes, education in France vs the UK seems to be quite drastically different and I know smacking kids is still quite common and not really as frowned upon here as in the UK hence why (as a French person) I wasn't as shocked by the first smack as others from other countries could have been but what happened after was way beyond anything that would be deemed acceptable even by French standards. The female officer definitely seemed much more concerned about it and actually said she would call her manager right before I left when I reported it the second time.

I was really upset at how blasé the male French officer was at child abuse when I know he would have lost his shit had I even dared speak to him in a bad tone or God forbid call him a name. It's utterly frustrating.

Mostly because like I said I grew up in the type of environment those kids are growing up in and no idea what would be of me if people hadn't stood up for me. It frustrates me because if tomorrow those kids are in the news for having been murdered the same people on my planes will be the first putting petitions out or being outraged yet none of them spoke up. They did amongst themselves but then couldn't run out of the plane quick enough so they didn't have to see it, instead of reporting it.

@MadMum101 I wish I did but at the same time I genuinely don't think he could have cared less about what I had to say. He was doing it in broad daylight in front of everyone in an heavily controlled area at an airport with cameras all over the place. He was dragging his sons by their hair and by their ears IN FRONT OF EVERYONE he was well aware he was being watched and I genuinely don't think he gave a fuck. He did it in front of the staff and they didn't stop him, so he would have no reason to stop just because I asked him. But yes I should have done it. I definitely wish I did.

course youre not bu its shocking but i think france views it differently so ive heard

How awful for those poor children. I know it may not have been the best approach but I would've said something at the time, I also know my husband would have gone straight up to him, he cannot stand children being treated badly.

I'm really not sure of the procedures in France but I assume they have some form or social services? Would that be an option to call?

I don’t think confronting him would have been a good idea. As you say, he would probably take it out on them more later.
You did all you could which is more than most, it’s a shame it wasn’t in this country as you could have reported an assault.
I think (hope) these things are taken more seriously here.

It’s horrible and I understand why you’re still affected by it. But I don’t think there is any solution.
Unless you can contact the French consulate, but I’m not sure they would want to interfere. And you don’t have their names. That’s the problem when it’s in another countries jurisdiction.
Just try and console yourself that you did the best you could.

@ems1317

Yes France has social services but to report the parents I would need their names, that's why I wanted to get their name so I could report them to social services. Not that social services are known to do much for children in difficulty in France but at least they would be on their radar.

I could call them but with just one of the children's first name (a very popular name amongst Muslims and therefore in France) there is absolutely no way they would be able to do anything, unfortunately.

That’s so horrible, those poor children. I would have filmed it and reported it as assault.

I hate that kind of thing. Don't even smack my children.
I have always on the few occasions I have seen that kind of thing pointed it out at least by a loud tutting or a nasty look as I feel we should not look on and normalise - that by doing nothing we are complicit but they are very difficult situations to deal with. You were right to point it out even if the police do nothing and even though flying brings out the worst in many people and is tiring and stressful.

OP it would seem your options are very limited. The police officers response is rubbish because where in the world does a member of the police force have to personally witness an offence before an investigation can take place?
You say you live in a small place so perhaps keep your eyes open and you may spot the family and learn more about them. Do you have any teacher friends who might recognise your description? Next time you see them try to get pics on your phone under the guise of doing selfies etc.
In the course of my work I have witnessed some vile behaviour and terrible injuries and it’s hard to get it out of your head. May be educate your friends — ask them what they would do in such a situation. That way you and they may be prepared for swift action next time — to gain evidence if not directly intervene. The problem is that we are programmed to be polite, not to interfere and to fear for our own safety if we intervene.
Try not to blame yourself, you did the best you could and probably more than anyone else 🌹