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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the DfE doesn't care that girls are being raped in schools?

78 replies

VickyEadie · 13/09/2018 09:17

www.tes.com/news/our-kids-were-raped-classmates-dfe-wont-listen

Safeguarding - no longer an issue that matters, especially where girls are concerned.

OP posts:
beenandgoneandbackagain · 13/09/2018 09:22

I actually felt sick reading that. I'm sure many parents are convinced it won't happen in their school, but I don't think social class, age, or Ofsted ratings are a protection against this male agression. Very sad.

The boys are learning there is no consequence to their being sexual abusers/rapists.

VickyEadie · 13/09/2018 09:25

The boys are learning there is no consequence to their being sexual abusers/rapists.

Indeed. Girls are at more risk than ever before - and those in power don't seem to care at all.

OP posts:
MissusGeneHunt · 13/09/2018 09:29

That is heartbreaking. As a staff member within an LA who receives incident forms and collates all incident stats for the LA's maintained schools, the category spoken about is one we do record, and investigate as soon as we hear about them. However, I cannot vouch for all of England's LA schools and / or academies / free schools / VAs / foundation schools or independents. They are either employed by Trusts or the Governing body, as you know. It would be they who would receive incident reports and have the obligation to investigate. I also can't vouch for all maintained schools actually reporting the incidents to the LA. All I know is that if an incident is brought to my attention, it would be seen as a major priority and I would assist the school to support those in need and to report further.

The future worries me, it really does. If we are letting down our children at this point, god knows what else goes unheard / brushed under the carpet.

beenandgoneandbackagain · 13/09/2018 09:31

If it's rape/sexual assault why are the police not called in? Or are they and just can't do anything? I can't believe it is at the same risk of he said / she said which can hinder some investigations in adult rape cases. Children's sexual activity CANNOT be consenting by either party.

Aeroflotgirl · 13/09/2018 09:34

That is shocking, my ds is in Y2, that young, my goodness me.

myrtleWilson · 13/09/2018 09:35

This is shocking and I was not aware of the scale of it.
Our MPs need to be using PQs to DfE and PMQs to raise profile on specifics. I'll search Hansard later to see if questions have been raised

montFleur · 13/09/2018 09:36

A lot of hyperbole from you OP.

Why are girls at more risk than ever before (you're factually incorrect here, by the way - they're many, many, many times safer)?

Tartle · 13/09/2018 09:38

Police can't do anything if the child is under the age of criminal responsibility (10).

But there ought to be national procedures for the school to follow including excluding the child permanently and referring them for multi agency intervention.

It's almost certain that the abuser is also being abused if the assault is in primary school.

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/09/2018 09:39

I have 2 dds and this kind of stuff terrified me.

I wish there was more access to singke sex schools. Not a cure all I know but you dont have to look very hard even on MN to see the attitudes that allow this to happen.

bridgetreilly · 13/09/2018 09:40

Police can't do anything if the child is under the age of criminal responsibility (10).

Yes, they can.

bridgetreilly · 13/09/2018 09:41

Here's what they can do: www.gov.uk/child-under-10-breaks-law

Tartle · 13/09/2018 09:42
  • A lot of hyperbole from you OP.

Why are girls at more risk than ever before (you're factually incorrect here, by the way - they're many, many, many times safer)?*

We don't actually know this do we as no one has been collecting figures.

I would love to test the hypothesis that "peer on peer" rapes and sexual assaults have been steadily increasing in line with the number of children have had easy access to violent online porn.

I have strong suspicions that the number of crimes has increased and age of perps reduced since around 2012 which is when kids started getting smartphones.

GoldenWonderwall · 13/09/2018 09:44

Horrific. I’ve a dc in y2 and to think that other dc have had such a horrendous upbringing that they would rape another child and then no one does anything. 7 year olds should not be abusing or raping other 7 year olds and brushing it under the carpet is condemning two or more children to lives blighted by rape and abuse (this is not my view on older rapists). I cannot imagine what it is like to be the mother of a little girl who is raped and no one cares. And for the victims I have no words that can express my feelings. Being raped can effect so many aspects of your life and in so many different ways, for it to happen so young when you barely have an understanding of self is surely one of the worst things that can happen to a person. Flowers

Tartle · 13/09/2018 09:45

Yes, they can.

Not for the victim.

GoldenWonderwall · 13/09/2018 09:46

tartle no child should be raped in school. The stats should be 0. It’s not a thought experiment, it’s little girls being raped where they go to learn and it should not happen.

bigKiteFlying · 13/09/2018 09:55

Data collected by the BBC in 2015 found that 5,500 sexual offences were recorded in UK schools over a three-year period, including 600 rapes

I've only recently become aware of those figure and I was shocked.

Never even occured to me my DC could be at risk at primary school.

Even raped at secondary shcoked me - though looking back as an adult I'm pretty sure some of what I experienced at secondary would be classes as sexual assult.

Upskirting and social media pressure aren't something I had to deal with either.

www.telegraph.co.uk/education/2018/03/28/schoolgirls-forced-wear-shorts-skirts-stop-boys-upskirting-teachers/

Beamur · 13/09/2018 09:56

That is horrifying.

Clawdy · 13/09/2018 09:59

Is it physically possible for a seven year old to rape someone? Sexual assault seems a more likely term. Still dreadful. Wonder how it took place, most infant classes are supervised even at toilet time.

montFleur · 13/09/2018 10:01

@Tartle

Aren't the thing's you said the very reason people like you (don't take this the wrong way) shouldn't be in charge of collecting figures and presenting statistics?

As a reasonable statistician, I can often find 'facts' to support my hypothesis - especially when they're to be presented to an audience who already have staunch 'opinions', too.

We have crime figures to show that girls are certainly not "at more risk than ever before". Should I quickly make a graph showing how sexual abuse has declined as the number of people accessing online* porn has declined?

*I say online because I know - having grown up in the middle of 3 brothers - that hedge-porn was the 70s equivalent. I believe the women were hairier but little else has changed.

upsideup · 13/09/2018 10:02

I wouldnt want to call a Y2 child a rapist, obviously the girl is a victim of rape but for a 6/7 to know how to and to rape then he is going to be a victim too.
I dont know what consequences you think he deserves?

beenandgoneandbackagain · 13/09/2018 10:05

little else has changed.

Seriously?? You believe "little else" has changed from the porn magazines of the 1970s? I have two brothers, and they and their male peers did have a couple of porn magazines. I saw them. They wouldn't even count as soft porn these days.

They certainly weren't exposed to videos of women being choked, beaten, slapped, deep throated to the point they can't breath, having three, four or five penises inserted at once, rough anal sex, gang bangs, or any of the other top rated videos on unrestricted porn sites available to anyone with an internet connection these days. If you want educating on what kind of porn children are watching, try looking at the very not safe for work pornhub or redtube.

Gileswithachainsaw · 13/09/2018 10:06

upside

See this is where it gets sooo difficult. Because supporting the boy as a victim is what's forcing girls to be in class with their rapists.

It does not help either of them and the boys needs are clearly always the first considered.

TallulahWaitingInTheRain · 13/09/2018 10:07

It's appalling. There's a girl in a school near me who developed PTSD following a rape by a classmate. On top of the consequences for her health and happiness her education has been completely derailed because the school refused to take any effective measures to protect her from being constantly confronted by her rapist, and she ended up missing a great deal of school in a crucial year.

beenandgoneandbackagain · 13/09/2018 10:08

"I dont know what consequences you think he deserves?"

In an ideal world the Y2 child would have no idea about rape or forcing themselves upon another person.

But in the real world? I would like to see that child kept away from the risk of abusing other children, and remedial care to ensure they understood the roots of their behaviour, why that behaviour is unacceptable, and also the imprisonment of the adults who have abused that child in the first place to make them a child-rapist.

jellyfrizz · 13/09/2018 10:08

I believe the women were hairier but little else has changed.

???

"For a glimpse of how much popular porn has changed in the last decade, try this quote from LA-based porn actor Anthony Hardwood (interviewed for Crabbe’s recent Australian documentary Love and Sex in the Age of Porn).

Hardwood told the film-makers he had seen porn change dramatically since his beginnings in 1997 when it simply involved “making love on a bed”, and confirmed what Crabbe had discovered elsewhere — that rougher “Gonzo” porn had left the fringe and replaced old-school stylised porn sex.

“You know when I started it was like very lovey dovey sex, not tough like Gonzo,” says Hardwood.

“After three years they wanted to get more energy, more rough, they do like one girl with you know like four guys and they just take over and destroy her.”

Little by little, slapping women around and “destroying” them sexually has come to be normalised in sex entertainment."

www.dailytelegraph.com.au/rendezview/rougher-harder-violent-how-porn-is-warping-the-male-mind/news-story/504698ce318f551052847f13ac678fd1