Aibu to wonder when the workplace became so bloody aggressive

[Deadbudgie]

I’ve worked in the same profession for the past 20 odd years, the majority of time in very large firms. When I first started partners were generally in their 50s, nice, nurturing, took responsibility. People got promoted after a number of years in role, they were good at their job (inc bringing on others). Most people left at 5:30-6:30. Teams knew each other, had a laugh. Now people want partner by about 35 and will kill anyone in their way. People seem to spend most of their time putting others down to push themselves up. One person in our team has become rude and aggressive overnight. Traits now so common in people pushing for promotion, we all knew she was going for it without asking. When did it become a prerequisite to be nasty to get promoted?

Still depends on the workplace.

I think the workplace is just reflecting a trend that is now commonplace in wider society. Everything feels more cutthroat now. The media is largely to blame.

Knitted I think you’re right, the world does seem to be getting a very aggression be place. I hate to think what it will be like when DS is an adult. Fingers crossed for a reversal

Gwen wish I could fix nd a work place where it’s not the case. Tried a smaller place but seemed even worse

My new workplace is okay, my previous one was terrible and I had to leave due to bullying. It’s up to the manager/s to set the tone and police things effectively.

My new manager is lovely and takes no crap, my previous one was a spineless hag who was a bully herself, in a horrible PA way.

You're talking about a partnership so presumably a law firm or accounting firm?

I think it became like this about 20 years ago but maybe that's my age.

if you ask someone older than me, they might say, 30 or 40 years ago!!

This sounds like law - a solicitors' practice. In small town firms at least it always has been savage, especially for women. Male partners, and they were always male, were clueless about being decent managers and even about employment law. I got out early on and did something else.

Condolences and best wishes, OP.

The company I'm in is the first i have ever worked at where pay rises exist. The cost of living keeps going up and peoples wages don't increase to reflect that. That makes me more motivated to go for promotion or change jobs on a regular basis rather than settle in a job I'm happy with. I would like to have started a family already but I can't afford to so I feel pressured to race to the top as quickly as possible so that I can do that.

I expect different people & industries have different motivations but that's what pushes me. In an ideal world I'd love to have a job for life and have a laugh with my team.

Capitalism. Competition for everything. University places, jobs, money, housing, love. A populace fighting amongst itself fails to see the injustice and disharmony is caused by those who seek to profit from peoples misery.

Massive lack of progression opportunities and thousands of people competing for a single job, regardless of the level.

No pay rises or incentives so promotion is literally the only way to get paid more.

It's happening everywhere now. There's a real feeling of malevolence in society now. Once upon a time, the British did not sound their horns at each other. Now it happens so often. People are so rude and when called out go on the attack.

And yes to the pp, this is what capitalism has done - the race to the bottom. Dog eat dog.

sorry, too many 'nows' there.

I often worry that I’m in a low paid job with no pension plan and cheap housing but I see posts like this and I’m thankful that certainly in my field (education) people are more nurturing and kinder as we are all stuck on the bottom rung.

Yes it is a professional service industry I’m talking about. When I started as soon as you qualified you earned more than enough to buy a house in a decent area, go out and have lots of holidays without relying either on mum or dad or having a partner or friends to buy a house with. Now it seems you need to get several rings up the ladder before you can even consider this. I actually earn less now than in 2008! Ever year our clients get charged more and we are pressurised by ever increasing budgets. So I can see why people need to get promoted earlier, esp as people seem likely be relying on their single wage later in life. Can’t wait til my mortgage is paid off. Just wish they would lay off the aggression, no wonder so many people are suffering mental health issues at work

I do think it's changing in a lot of industries, I'm in health and social care and I find it hilarious when people think it's a caring industry.

It's not , it's a shark tank especially the higher you go. Although I grant you it often seems to be couched in more passive aggressive terms but make no mistake it's dangerous to turn your back.

I think job instability and as you say rising prices are having a huge effect. People are struggling to provide for their families even on highish wages and it makes them desperate.

I have strict rules for myself that I won't ever break , I won't screw someone over for money or a promotion etc,I certainly will mot ever let someone take the fall for my mistake but God knows I've often (not always ...dont get me wrong there are also some amazing people in my industry) been on my own in a boardroom in those views.

I've noticed this too OP. A lot of people sneer at the idea of taking seniority into account when choosing people for promotion but the fact of the matter is that the longer you've been working the more likely you are to have garnered wisdom, judgment and empathy. These skills are important in creating fair and ethical workplaces but are often discounted now. Young people can have degrees coming out of their ears but that doesn't make a good manager.

A lot of workplaces nowadays seem to be run by brash pushy people who put their own ambitions at the centre of everything and don't give a damn about their employees. Then that ethos spreads down the ranks and creates a dog rat dog atmosphere.

My dad was a senior manager in the public sector. Several years after his death we are still in touch with some of his former staff who remember him for his kindness and consideration from many years ago. Different times and it is sad to see how the working world has changed.