First Pregnancy Worries - AIBU?

[Willoway]

Hello!
Sorry for the long post, and I apologize if this is in the wrong thread, I was hoping for a little advice and was wondering if I'm being unreasonable. I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant with our first DC, we're having a DS. We're over the moon, as we didn't think we would be so blessed so quickly. But the further I get into my pregnancy, the more I start to worry.

For many years, I have suffered with anxiety and depression. It has been something that I have struggled with for the best part of my life, and DP and I decided that it would be best to sort these problems out before bringing a life into this world. After many years of battling, I have finally got into a place where I am happy with my health mentally. DP is very supportive and understanding, which helps massively.

But now, not having experienced pregnancy before, I find myself worrying, and it's bringing me down. I have many worries and fears, such as I have no idea what to expect. I have so many concerns and I just don't know how to address them all. For example:

Childbirth - I cannot stress how much I am worrying and terrified over the prospect of giving birth. I have heard so many horror stories that just seem to stick in my head. When I ask people I know about it, I'm told 'every woman does it, don't worry about it you'll be fine' but I don't think people understand just how much I'm worrying.

Pregnancy – I've had a relatively easy pregnancy so far. However, I'm a very picky eater, and probably haven't eaten the best. All I've craved are anything potato (especially crisps) and sweet snacks. Will this contribute to my child's birth weight? My DP was 10lbs when he was born, so I worry that I'm going to have a big baby anyway. I make sure to take my vitamins everyday.

I also worry about bothering my midwife if I call her. It just feels like I'm worrying about everything that comes with having DC, even though he is very much wanted. Is it normal to worry this much during pregnancy? I feel him move all the time, and have been told at all the scans (have had 2 so far) that all seems healthy, he has a strong heartbeat, seems to have strong legs (believe me, I know!) and has a bit of a belly on him.

I just want to be told if I'm Bu about fretting so much and need to sort myself out. Thanks in advance.

Have you spoken to your midwife about your MH issues?

This should have been picked up at your booking appointment and it should have been arranged for you to get extra support.

If not, then you need to make an appointment with your GP and bring up the fact you need extra support in pregnancy due to your MH issues.

If you can try to research what MH support is available in your area for pregnant women.

Look into the positive birth company. For some reason people love sharing horror stories and focus on negatives. I did the hypnoborthing course and it completely changed my perception and outlook on birth. In fact I looked forward to it.

Pregnancy can be a really anxious time anyway. Have an open conversation with your midwife, I’m sure she’ll be understanding. And you will never be a bother to her!

Hopefully I can offer a bit of guidance as I felt same way during my pregnancy and now have a perfect 15 w/o DD sleeping on me as we speak

1. Childbirth: can be horrific, yes. Or some people seem to sneeze and the baby comes out.

You do not know at this point what will happen and there's no way of finding out. Giving birth is something that is 100% going to happen, so stressing over it will make absolutely no difference either way.

The best advice that I've ever received was to 'control the controlables'. If you can't change it, don't stress out over it.

(Look up hypnobirthing, it helps a lot of women)

2. Pregnancy: within reason, of course, pregnancy is a wonderful time to eat what you like and worry later. As long as you're taking your vitamins I wouldn't panic. I'd just make sure you squeeze a bit of fruit/veg into your diet daily and drink lots of fluids.

It's entirely normal to stress out and to be anxious; you're GROWING another human being! It's big stuff. You're allowed to worry.

If you're anxious, then call the midwife. I called the helpline a good few times and they always put my mind at ease. Takes a minute and it saves you panicking.

Oh, and lastly, invest in a good maternity bra. Tiddies can go a bit south after if they're not properly supported