To miss this wedding?

[Appygolucky1234]

Baby is 8m. Exclusively breastfed, co sleeps and at the moment still wakes several times a night- more if I’m not right next to her.

Have a very dear friend’s wedding in 3 weeks. Travelling there would require a long haul flight and because of time difference we would be away 4 days/ nights total to attend wedding.

Taking baby is I think a complete no no as the long haul flights within 48 h of each other would be murder for all of us.

Alternative is to leave baby with granny (who has expressed willing) for 4 days. Risk of this going badly, although it is just before I go back to work anyway.

AIBU to want to sit out the wedding and not risk putting my baby and mum through potentially v difficult few days? Granny is also going to be doing childcare for first 2m of my return to work.

Oh god I would need to pump really often as baby feeds every hour or two hours. I would for sure get plugged ducts at a minimum or mastitis!

It’s actually my husband’s friend rather than mine (but close to both) so going on my own not an option!

Will decide finally this weekend...hadn’t thought about taking Mum but that could be an option.

This is all going to be v £££ but trying not to focus on that! Throwing money at things in order not to feel like life has irreversibly changed w baby (which it obviously has, I know!).

@EmUntitled nope we haven’t booked flights. If it were up to me, we would have booked flights months ago but husband wasn’t sure if we’d have the time before or after the wedding and is always nervous about booking flights before getting holidays approved (which he can’t do until last minute, even if approved earlier) so we haven’t yet.

We basically always have to book flights last minute and it’s so spendy and one of the things which really annoys me about husband’s job or rather his attitude to it. If it was me, I would book book away! If you have to cancel or change the odd flight it’s probably still cover by what you’ve saved not booking last minute all the time...

Not that we’re flying much now anyway with the baby so that’s all a bit academic.

I’d send DH on his own if it’s primarily his friend.

It’s shit you have to miss out as you have both become parents, not just you, but until dads start producing milk, thems the breaks for breastfeeding mums!

Under no circumstances should you feel obliged to leave your EBF baby just because your friend would go the extra mile for you. Taking away your baby’s primary or sole supply of food is going way beyond an extra mile and if I was that friend I’d be horrified to think you had felt obliged to do that.

I wouldn’t take a baby on such a long flight (change of time zones) for such a short time either. Would either be hell whilst you are there or when you get back.

Either DH goes solo or if you can afford to Mum comes. If the hotel is nearby or the venue it’s you can pop back if needed or just leave whenever you need to and DH can stay on or go with.

Mum being there does give you options.

@BasinHaircut

I had (until a couple of days ago) just sort of blithely assumed that supply and feeding would be unaffected if I continued to pump because generally I’ve had no problems feeding apart from first few weeks but I can see there’s a risk that she might refuse breast or forget how to latch or something- maybe not for ever but enough that will be tough times on return for us both.

So I have definitely ruled out leaving her (and going just for a couple days) so just a question of whether I give up a whole week :)