To think this is normal toddler behaviour?

[dellacucina]

My 22 month old screams and kicks when she doesn't get her way. She throws food on the floor. She is upset if her food is presented in the wrong way. If you tell her not to do something, she is likely to do it in defiance.

I scold her for some of this and I try not to give in to the tantrums most of the time. I have been making her pick up the food she throws. I'm not really sure what more I can do.

However, my mother seems to think that she is totally out of control and that I am failing as a parent.

Thoughts???

Sounds normal to me. My almsot 5 year old did this, my two year old is quite similar. Also shouts ‘no’ whenever you ask him to stop.

My 5 year old is now exceptionally well behaved. L

Either you were a particularly unusual child, or your mum has forgotten why they're called the terrible 2s!!! This is where your daughter pushes boundaries and you get to gently show her where they are and rein her in. Don't doubt yourself, sounds like you're doing a grand job

Mine were angelic at 2 - but Jesus Christ they made up for it at 3/4.

Totally normal - mine did this at age 2. Sounds like you're dealing with it well though ( getting her to pick up thrown food etc)

DS is 22 Months and exactly like this.

He throws things when he is angry, and he slightest thing can trigger it such as not opening food in the right way!

Ha! Sounds like your mum has selective memory syndrome...

Toddlers are loud contrary little dictators with cute faces.

You’re doing fine.

Completely normal. Does your mother have an idea that children should be seen and not heard?

Totally normal.

I have a nine year old who is frequently like this but he might have special needs.

All you can do is deal with it calmly and consistently which I think you are doin anyway.

Bad case of selective memory in the case of your mother!!

Can only repeat what pp have said. Toddlers are wankers.

normal, sounds like you are handling it

It's normal, but bloody frustrating.

DD1 is nearly 5 now and has never been like this. I thought ‘terrible 2’s’ were a myth.
Then DD2 came along....

DS2 was like a combination of Diana Ross and Pol Pot between 2 and 3. He's delightful now, but there were times I'd look at him and think "what in the name of christ have we done?"

I think some older people reminisce over the past with their rose tinted glasses, simply because it's human nature. I know full well toddlers were bellends in the 80's, though, because my youngest sister was a total turd at 3 years old.

Normal! Mine was a nightmare at that age.

Just say to you mum, "you're welcome, I must have been really easy to look after". Or something.
Sounds pretty normal to me. I find distraction is better than drawing attention to undesirable behavior because 2yo 's don't really have any idea of consequences and such.

This is absolutely normal. Do not scold her or punish her because she is doing it for attention. To discourage tantrums, totally ignore them or walk out of the room. Keep super chilled at all times and do not react. She will grow out of it

This is developmentally very normal.

Many toddlers have rituals surrounding food. This is completely normal.

If she throws her food, just put it in the bin and dont give her more. She will not starve

Thanks, it's helpful to confirm that I am probably not totally negligent in my responsibilities.

My mother said in frustration after a tantrum, "everything just has to be about her. Why won't she just behave?" I frankly thought that this was a weird way to respond to a toddler's antics.

Despite telling me that I need to get DD under control, my mum hasn't really offered any suggestions. She just says sorrowfully and reproachfully, "you're really going to have to get her under control."

DS is 22 months and you have described him perfectly

We have had to get the sticky down plates out again as he's taken to frisbeeing his dinner across the room with no provocation at all.

If you're failing then so am I I'd be more concerned if he was endlessly compliant.

I know full well toddlers were bellends in the 80's, though, because my youngest sister was a total turd at 3 years old

Just nearly wee'd a bit laughing at that thank you

There's a book called "Toddlers are A**holes - It's Not Your Fault." Your DM might find it instructive, as she's clearly repressed her memories of her children's early years.

@dellacucina she sounds like a bit of a nightmare! Just ignore her, everything has to be about your DD because she can't do anything for herself yet! Of course she will be demanding. I always think, it must be frustrating for a tiny human to want to do certain things or say certain things but they physically cannot! That's how I try to think my way through my DD's tantrums!

Yes, that's generally my view as well. I can see that this is a developmental stage and it is useless to expect her to respond rationally. My mother is a serious control freak so perhaps she had me in line at this age.

Yep, normal.