To not be able to enjoy the here and now

[Purplesky2]

I had a thread in chat but not much response so I thought about what really is my problem and it is not be able to enjoy the here and now. Today as I’m so anxious and scared of the future.
I split up with my exh in January due to the discovery of his affair. He has still made the relationship failure my fault though.vthat I made our marriage miserable.
I have 3 children who are 11,9 and 7 so growing up and not really needing me like they used to.
I have a fulfilling job and friends so I can get up and get by day by day but i don’t really live in the moment. I’m just preparing myself for the day I’m all alone when the kids have left and don’t need me at all. I feel it’s easier to do this mentally now rather than face it when it happens. I thought I would be with ex forever and so can’t contemplate another relationship so it is inevitable that I will be lonely. I feel so low though and like I just exist and am not really a thinking and feeling human. I’m just a machine. I’m kind of numb but still sad. I don’t mind the numbness but I feel pity for myself which is annoying.
Any advice for cutting down on the anxiety for the future and looking forward rather than feeling dread and hoping life is shorter expected.

Hi Purple sorry to hear about you and your husband splitting up and about his affair. What a horrible time you are going through. It is still early days and will take time for things to heal and for you to move on. Try not to think about the future too much because everything will feel like doom and gloom right now. Just try and enjoy the time with your kids and your friends. Make lots of fun and happy memories with them. The future has a way of working itself out. You won't be alone. Your kids will always be a big part of your life and one day grandkids will too. If you have good friends, you can stay close to them too. You also have a fulfilling job so have alot going for you. At the moment you are not ready to meet anyone else and that is fine, but as time passes, you will warm to the idea of meeting someone new and starting a new relationship. When the kids get older and move on, they will always love you and involve you in their lives. But you will find time in your life to do new things such as taking up hobbies and interests and enjoying more time with friends and going on holidays. Right now, you will feel down and sad but it will get easier. Take care x