To be really really worried about friend and not sure what to do next

[lastqueenofscotland]

Here for traffic really.
A good friend of mine asked me to come round for wine and a film last night so I did and they confided with me that they literally never feel happy.
They have moments when they enjoy themselves but they haven’t been happy in literally years and are at best content but often very very depressed or very very angry.
I didn’t really know what to do or say so just gave them a hug and said I was there for them.
I really want to help them but I don’t know what to do. They’ve been through the mill a bit in the last 18 months and I’m really really worried

surely its not normal!
to feel ups and downs yes.but to not be happy?i worry for people on here.
there are certain levels of help she might need.it could be just needing you and her friends and family to have her back a bit at the moment.calling in.listening etc.but it could be more.therapy.or time out.
don't ignore it.this is the worst thing for a person suffering and cant often make them hide away and ashamed once they have taken th strength to reach out.
could you go back to her and mention it.say you've been thinking what she said and want he rto know your there for her and what can be done do you think?no pressure but what does she want to happen from now.would she find therapy helpful.few days away.nw job.new hobby.it could be all manor of things that she might need right now.
form what you've said though it seems an ongoing thing that they need more support with.
id suggest the gp?or finding some private therapy.or the other help even acupunctia.equine therapy.there much to be done.but sounds like she needs something extra now.

I think if I hadn’t had children I might have been happier.

Waiting, what is it about your children that makes you feel so unhappy?

Thanks all I’ve got in touch to say she can talk to me whenever but to not feel obliged etc.

“Some people are never happy because they are too focused on the bad things in their lives and not the good things”.

That’s not how mental health problems work! FFS.

You have done the right thing in following up by letting her know she can talk to you whenever she needs to. If she has been bottling her feelings up for a long time until finally being able to confide in you then it would have been a huge deal to her. Once you have managed to do that it does leave you exposed and feeling intensely vulnerable (you must be a very much valued and trusted friend) and possibly regretting leaving yourself open in such a way. Your message just lets her know that you heard, acknowledged and you are willing to help.

You can gently mention seeking some help with her feelings too and that you will support her through the process. Baby steps.