AIBU to urge DH to change his eating habits

[stiltonontoast]

Bit of a long story but DH (now 32) was a premature baby born at 30 weeks and tube fed for a fair while. As a child he would choke on food extremely easily and therefore developed a bit of a fear of food / eating. Growing up he would only drink orange juice (the concentrate carton kind) no water, only eat a handful of foods that he was familiar and comfortable with and would refuse anything new or unfamiliar, his parents stopped trying to get him to eat other foods.

When we met 5 years ago he was still very stubborn about trying new foods, he only just came round to drinking tea and alcohol. He basically lived off sausages, potatoes, ham and chocolate! He didn't like fruit, veg, pasta, rice or even water.

Since then I've introduced him to lots of new foods very gently, very slowly by giving to them along with things he is used to. He has made a massive improvement in his diet - he now eats plenty of green veg, pasta, pizza, cheese! but to name a few.

HOWEVER, he eats SO much sugar its unreal. In the morning he will eat a chocolate bar or digestive biscuits, then for lunch he will have orange juice, a ham sandwich, crisps and 2-3 chocolate bars. More chocolate for snacks later and then because I am in control of dinner - he usually gets a good meal but will always follow it up with chocolate.

Now my problem is this, DH is constantly complaining about sore joints, a sore mouth / tongue / mouth ulcers and I haven't told him this - but he does suffer from terribly bad breath sometimes (he brushes 2x a day, mouthwash, floss - the lot!). I imagine all of its to do with his diet. Now we have a 7 month old baby I really think he needs to change his ways. How do I get him to listen?

I'd start recommending he gets check out by the gp (as you know ) those are not normal issues some one of his age should be having. In particular I'd want him looked at for diabetes! If everything is clear then I don't see how you can make him change just keep suggesting new things like maybe swapping to water ect

Who does the shopping? If it's you, don't buy any chocolate. I know he'll still buy his own at lunch if he's out, but at least it cuts it down. When he asks why there's no chocolate, tell him bluntly that he eats too much sugary stuff and it's not good for DC to see parents eating unhealthily as it normalises bad habits.

Firstly, he needs to make sure that he is not rinsing or using mouthwash straight after brushing his teeth. For the sodium fluoride in toothpaste to be effective, it needs to stay on the teeth! :)

You need to tell him about the bad breath. When was the last time he went to the dentist?

He needs to go to the Dentist, first.

I can just imagine the responses if a Man was posting that his Wife was eating too much chocolate, though.

You've helped him overcome his eating issues. You can guide him away from chocolate, but it's his choice.

You've done well to not have your children copy him. That should be motivation for him.

I have struggled over many years, with varying levels of success, to reduce my sugar consumption. I have found it very hard because it is such a strongly established part of my coping strategy for when I am anxious or depressed.

So, even were your husband to agree that he wants to reduce his sugar consumption it might not be easy for him to do so. It depends why he eats so much to start with.

There are lots of strategies that might help - substitution, reward, etc - but he would need to understand why he was eating it all in the first place.

In your OP there is the suggestion that it could be because he sees it as a safe food, in which case that reassurance of safety element could be very hard to give up on. And then simply suggesting that he eats something else as a snack isn't going to be at all helpful.

If he doesn't want to reduce his sugar consumption at all then you have an even bigger problem. For me I want to change because I want to be able to be more physically active.

Does he still eat all that chocolate?

Get him to the dentist