Bus drivers

[plumcat]

I seem to have o be prepared for some sort of attitude from the driver every time I get on be bus. Don't get me wrong.. I'm sure I wouldn't be chirpy if I was driving a bus all day but why do they think it's ok to be so rude?

@GreatDuckCookery and @WoolyMama I agree it's about receiving feedback but I don't appreciate people assuming I'm the rude one before they knew the facts

@WoolyMama yes it's their job to say it but to say it in a way that it's been said before, is rude to me

Is it first?
Ime they treat their drivers like dirt so I can't really blame them for not being chipper and cheery.

I felt like you till I moved out of London. Loads of wankers driving buses there but rurally loads of lovelies.

@PjsAndCake yeah it's first. That's exactly what I though. There's a few lovely ones though

@CocoDeMoll wish I could go more rural 😑

Most drivers around here are perfectly lovely. There's the odd twat and sometimes it's obvious that they're not at their best. Some of those guys (and the odd girl) are driving for over 3 hours without a comfort break.

I had a bus driver shout at me out of the window of his bus the other day. I had mistakenly got on the wrong park and ride bus - there are 5 routes in the city I was in - and bought a ticket. I realised as soon as the bus pulled away and I got off at the next stop, as the one I wanted stopped there too. I was really apologetic and explained to the driver what had happened and he said I had to buy a new ticket, I explained again that I had made a genuine mistake, and had bought the ticket 5 minutes ago ( I showed him the time on the ticket - also the ticket was the same price) and he just refused and told me to get off the bus.
As I crossed the road (I had to walk back to the Park and Ride carpark 4 miles away) he opened his window and shouted "its not my problem you made a mistake" and then as he drove past me he waved in a really sarcastic/passive aggressive manner.
Now I completely understand that I had made a mistake but he could have handled it so much better, I was left feeling humiliated as everyone was looking at me as if I was a fare dodger...

You were incredibly rude about bus drivers OP. To imply that you think their profession is not a worthy one is not ok imo.

To imply that you think their profession is not a worthy one is not ok imo.

Did I miss something? Where exactly did the OP imply this?

OP you have asked in AIBU? And a lot of people are saying you are - if you just wanted “to vent” it’s entirety the wrong forum.

It’s not about being “pro bus driver” it’s about asking people’s opinions (which your original post implied) and people giving them - some of them from the perspective of a bus driver 😉

Lulu he was rude and definitely wrong to shout out the window at you, but if an inspector had got on and you had the wrong ticket then the bus company would be fined and the driver penalised by disciplinary or other action. I’m not saying his attitude was right but he wasn’t just doing it to be pedantic. And unfortunately about 20-30 people a day try the wrong (cheaper) ticket card so he'd naturally assume you were too even though it was a genuine mistake.

Most of the bus drivers I get are quite nice.
I have a disabled bus pass so maybe that's why they are nice to me. And I'm always polite & pleasant to them.

@Nesssie where did I imply this?

@WhiteCoyote I don't mind people saying I'm being unreasonable but to imply that I'm the rude one is completely different

Maybe I was especially offended but your comment, as it was quite personal, and a false perception of my character

Bit ironic since the point of your post was to do the exact same thing about an entire profession: being personally offensive with false perceptions of their characters, as well as rude about their careers.

If you use a phone why are you even talking to the bus drivers?

As my username would suggest I use buses a lot.
I do encounter the odd grumpy driver, but I always say please/thank you and take my ear phones out when I get on.
The main problem I encounter is when traveling with my daughter, I have a pass and she's 14 so pays for herself, and I'm utterly fed up of the way she's treated for asking for the half fare she's entitled to by some drivers. She is polite and says please, and I'm usually behind her, and they don't realise we're together. She carries her school ID to prove her age. Some drivers don't question her, some ask how old she is and she'll show her ID and they're polite and fine. Some are just downright rude. Comments like -
'No way, you pay full' and she shows her pass to be told it means 'bugger all' by one driver, or huffed at because she's somehow proved them wrong and they resent that.
Then we get the head shakers and the muttering about fare dodging to her, she says I'm 14 and gets sneered at or laughed at, offers to show ID to prove it and gets ignored. It's not their fault or her's she looks older than she is, she carries ID for this purpose but with some it makes no difference, they don't care, and are plain rude to her.
I challenged one the other day, he makes snide comments every time - 'You're not half' and 'Oh yeah you've got "ID"' in a sarcastic way,, and shaking his head, sighing and huffing, so I said "Is everything ok?" Last time this happened, when I got on behind her "Fine why?" He replied "You didn't seem very impressed with my daughter wanting half fare and showing her ID when challenged"
His attitude changed immediately when he realised I was with her, and has been different ever since. It's not on the way some are, I have to challenge some people for age restricted stuff and there's ways of doing it without being a complete twat about it.
Bus driving is a responsible and stressful job at times I'd imagine, however it's also customer facing and it's unacceptable to treat people like that, I'd get shot if I spoke to customers like that.

I used to have very severe social anxiety, so I understand where you’re coming from, and there’s a definite sense of taking everything really personally, which I think is what’s happening here.

I don’t think you have been outwardly or verbally rude, but having suffered it myself I know socially anxious people can come across very rude, stand-offish, disinterested etc. due to how anxiety makes you react, so they quite possibly could be picking up on that vibe, especially if you’re glued to your phone.

where did I imply this?

You implied it with this comment, OP:

I'm sure I wouldn't be chirpy if I was driving a bus all day

@WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue I was simply showing that I understand that it's a very difficult and stressful job. As someone who scrubbed toilets for a living I'm not one to put others down for their career choices

To clarify. I'm not rude. I always say please, thank you, I don't spend all my time staring at my phone or have headphones in. I'm very respectful and treat people as I would like to be treated . I was simply stating that there are a lot of very rude bus drivers that I encounter. Maybe the "AIBU" title was not the right one to use .

As someone who scrubbed toilets for a living I'm not one to put others down for their career choices

Fair enough; I’m just going off what other posters are too as I felt it was implied it was not an enjoyable/fun/rewarding/worthwhile etc. job (and no, I’m not a bus driver! But I do work in an industry with a lot of negative stigma).

Also OP, like I said, it’s not about being verbally rude; clearly you’re not that. But socially anxious people can give off a very standoffish, absent, dismissive vibe (without meaning to or even really realising it) due to the nature of the condition, and that’s even before you factor in heavy mobile phone usage or headphones.

@TheWinterofOurDiscountTentsMk2

Bit ironic since the point of your post was to do the exact same thing about an entire profession: being personally offensive with false perceptions of their characters, as well as rude about their careers.

-no, it's nothing to do with their personal characters, it's about their customer service skills while they are at work, and no, I wasn't rude about their careers, I was expressing that I understand they are stressed . However, I've had very stressful jobs and I've never seen it as ok to be rude to customers .

@WhatToDoAboutWailmerGoneRogue

Yes you are correct. As someone who is very socially anxious, I do feel that people misunderstand me, as much as I try to be pleasant and nice. I guess I'm just getting fed up of it all but that's a totally other thread

I completely understand, OP; I’ve been exactly where you are! And it’s very frustrating, especially when you’re trying to be nice or even want to actively make friends but the awkwardness or the perceived standoffishness gets in the way.

I do have good news though: it’s not permanent! I don’t know where you are in terms of treatment or recovery, but I can tell you that I was able to recover from virtually housebound social anxiety for years to a fully functioning adult in a managerial role now. So don’t give up hope; it doesn’t always have to be like that

Apart from the rare horrendous suicide, Tube drivers never have to even acknowledge a paying customer yet are paid oodles more than bus drivers. Much as I am for workers rights, there's a bit of a paradox there that needs exploring.