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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if my son is invited to party too?

34 replies

DieBabySharkDie · 12/09/2018 10:46

DS (3) just started kindergarten last week. He’s in a class of 12/13, split up into 3/4 for some classes, so that it’s more one-on-one education and attention from the teachers, brought together for sports, swimming, playtime, storytimes, nursery singing, etc...

All the kids are new and most, if not all, of the mums don’t know each other but are gradually saying hello and introducing themselves during drop offs and pick ups, over the tops of our kids’ heads. Tbh, if you have kids, you know the drill - he’s my first and only so far, but I knew what the playground would be like in the beginning! Awkward, forced but friendly and curious... there’s no bitchiness and everyone seems lovely.

One mum has set up a WhatsApp group for all the mums in Kindergarten; for the obvious - anyone who’s forgotten whether its P.E. kit day and needs to ask, make an announcement about school closures or roadworks on way in, or (in this case) to arrange social gatherings such as birthday parties for the kids.

I got added to the group a bit later than everyone else (I’m friendly but don’t like “clicky” groups - probably out of fear of not being included, so tend to keep myself to myself. Oxymoron I know, but hey 🤷🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️), so took a while to actually start chatting to the mum who’s admin on the group. Those of you who know about WhatsApp groups will know that you can only see messages from the moment you got added, not before.

So a message came through today:

“Just confirming details for Birthday Girl’s party this weekend.
The weather is looking dry (fingers crossed please) so we will have inflatables, BBQ, games, cake and drinkies from 13:00 at ours.
Bring a cardie in case it gets chilly!
Will be going on til late so feel free to come along any time after 1 and stay til whenever :)
Look forward to seeing you all.
Mum & birthday girl xx”

Am I to just assume DS is invited, but a card and present and just show up? I would need the address first of course... Or should I reply to the message or privately to her, asking is the invite to include my son? It’s actually fine if he isn’t tbh, because it’s my birthday weekend and I’m being taken away that night with DH to eat and stay at the Shard and I have a hair appointment in the afternoon, but my mum (who is more sociable than me! Proper social butterfly!!) has happily said she would take DS for a few hours...

I just don’t want to make her feel she has to invite DS and at his age he won’t know any different anyway - but I know he’s already (according to the teachers) a very popular kid at playtime and super friendly and loves to play nicely (and loudly) with everyone. So I doubt he will have been solely excluded from invites...

I don’t know, I’m rambling now... you get the gist, so answers on a postcard please!!! Or just below will do xx

OP posts:
DieBabySharkDie · 12/09/2018 13:08

SilverLining10

CLIQUEY!!!! I knew I had spelled it wrong - it just looked funny! 🙈

And yeah, they all seem very nice. I went to that school when I was a child and actually moved away when I started secondary school (boarding) and never came back. When I recently left my husband, I decided to start over and buy near the school that gave me the best childhood ever so that my son could go there too. My parents even moved back there with me! It hasn’t changed - still an amazing, beautiful school. So although I do know people in the area, I haven’t seen them in over 20 years, so effectively I’m starting again. Although it turns out that my absolute best friend from that school, whose parents and mine always caused funny mayhem with and spent many drunken New Years with, her daughter is in reception and she will be at the party! I’m looking forward to just popping into the party, even if it’s just for an hour with rollers in my hair, and saying hi and SURPRISE Best Friend From Way Back When 😍

OP posts:
SunnySkiesSleepsintheMorning · 12/09/2018 13:11

Glad it all worked out. You handled it super well. You sound lovely. Please be my friend too! :)

AjasLipstick · 12/09/2018 13:19

Glorious! Grin I love a happy ending. I'd definitely have asked you to come too if I were her.

LoudestRoar · 12/09/2018 13:27

So pleased it all worked out Smile
Not sure if you've noticed, but I think you may have left your child's name in one of your posts. May be worth a quick message to MNHQ if you want it removed.Flowers

DieBabySharkDie · 12/09/2018 13:46

Yeah I’ve messaged HQ - hopefully they’ll edit it for me to take his name out 🙈 otherwise it seems every other child born lately has the same name as DS (clearly fabulous taste, daaaaaarlings), so hopefully it won’t out me! X

OP posts:
CaptSkippy · 12/09/2018 13:57

I'd just type in the group app something like: "Birthday?" And then let them sort it out.

CaptSkippy · 12/09/2018 13:59

Haha. I typed my reply after having this thread open for a few minutes. Didn't realise there would be already be so many replies. Just disregard mine as it is no longer relevant.

Sparklesocks · 12/09/2018 14:26

what a lovely thread :)

Pretenditsaplan · 12/09/2018 15:18

I have visions of you and party mum both going to pick up holding single red roses so youll recognise each other lol

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