To want to move (back) to the UK when living in Sweden?

[lamii]

Me being non-Swedish, non-British with a Swedish husband and a baby.

Why?

YABVU! I'd bloody love to live in Sweden. If you can work there stay there!!

Harsh winter, language that will never feel natural, people introverted...,...

YANBU, how long have you been there?
I am in Germany and also want to move back.

I’m also non-Swedish non-British (American) with a Swedish/British husband and two young DDs. Lived together in London for 5 years before moving to Sweden 2 yrs ago and wouldn’t move back to UK or USA for anything. Curious as to what ways is Sweden not working for you? (I am posting this during month 3 of my very generous maternity leave, so maybe my rose colored glasses are on!)

Fika with cinnamon buns. YABU

It’s true that people are more introverted here, and I struggle learning the language. Winter is harsh but it passes. But with small children, for me, the benefits far outweigh the cons. We would not have been able to afford having a second child in the UK.

Introverted people you say?

Well, Brexit would be a fairly big influence on how your residency status would pan out, assuming you're not mega wealthy, so I would wait and see if I were you. Not to mention that Arla has warned that formula may become an occasional luxury in the event of a hard Brexit - not an environment I'd be keen to bring a baby into, no matter how it's fed. Have you checked out the cost of childcare?

@ImNotBusyImLazy where are you? How long have you been here? I lived here for 3 years. I dream of having friends and hearing jokes! Winter will end again, that's a fair point. Language and introversion though...Maternity leave is great. I wonder if it's easier for anglophones to feel at home in Sweden. You get to speak your mother language at home and at the supermarket... ;)

@SmallAndFarAway I don't feel threatened by brexit, maybe I am being naive...

Also, childcare isn't forever...

I think the constant expat dilemma is quality of life versus being somewhere that feels like “home”. Only you can decide where the balance lies for you and your family I’m afraid. Mind you, if you don’t like their winters then you’re pretty stuck. What do Swedes do for recreation in the winter?

To be honest, I wouldn’t move right now unless you’re very unhappy. Wait until the Brexit negotiations are over and then see what life would be like in both places. Happy parents are just as important to kids as supposedly fabulous Scandinavian education etc, as is being able to share enjoyment of pop culture, theatre, art etc.

But how would you be able to live in the UK legally if there is a hard Brexit? You don't mention your own nationality, but your husband would not necessarily be entitled to work and live in the UK unless there is a Brexit deal. The same goes for most other nationalities. I would read up on the 'hostile environment' for immigrants in the UK currently...

Childcare isn't forever, true, but I think you'd pay £200 or so as a maximum per month in Sweden (for any number of children) - check out the childcare threads to see what people pay here!

I live in Germany by the way, so understand a little of what you mean. The Germans I come across aren’t so much introverted as just smug about being local.

@Littleoakhorn
Smug racists here in Bavaria

@lamii we moved here when DD1 was 9 months old and have been here coming up on 2 years. Just had DD2 3 months ago. We live in Nacka and I work in Stockholm (Gamla Stan). Whereabouts are you and how old is your baby?

I really struggled with the adjustment until I started working. I was taking DD1 to öppna förskolan thinking we would make lots of friends, but Swedes aren't quick to expand their social circles and grab coffees and make playdates like I expected! Are you working or able to work?

True that speaking English as my native language makes adjusting much easier. My job operates in English so that helps me enormously. I'm trying to learn Swedish, but in the meantime I can get by (although my husband has to do all the household admin since I am not advanced enough yet to handle that level of Swedish!)

I guess where I am in life now, the trade-offs we are making by living here pale in comparison to the benefits, but I can see how that might not be the case for everyone, depending on what you had in the UK.

What reasons brought you to Sweden and are those reasons strong enough to keep you here? As a PP said, you also need to be happy. So even though it may be an ideal place for children to grow up, you need to consider if your own happiness is being sacrificed. Fika solves many things, but not all!!