To ask about teenage depression or hormonal drama?

[Directorofmishaps]

I'm lost and hope someone can help me.

Dd is almost 16 and has learning needs. Her friends are mostly what in my school days would have been described as EMO.
They talk openly about suicide and self harm, everyone hates them, they are all going to not pass etc.

Since dd started to hang around with these girls I have seen messages with some of this behaviour from dd. I have also found two notes from dd where she has described 'not being fine'. I've spoke to dd about these and she cannot describe why she feels not fine. She just isn't.
I've spoke to the GP about this and I tried to get a Camhs referral but were rejected.

Dd is the rest of the time happy, attends out of school activities which she loves and during the holidays when away from the girls was a completely different child. I've suffered from anxiety and depression and know how it feels and don't see it in her at all. When I was feeling really bad I couldn't have written a note like that and then skipped off happily to an activity shortly afterwards. I know people can put on an act and appear happy when they aren't but I really don't know.
She won't talk to school counsellor, she won't talk to GP.
There's no depressive talk at home, she's eating fine, washing, taking care of herself and her appearance, happily attending activities etc.

I don't know how to help her.

My DD has just come out of a phase like this, she was trying to fit in with one particular friend in the group and I got very worried at one point because it was getting quite dark and like you, having suffered mental illness that started at that age, I was terrified she was going down the same path and would suffer like I did.
It lasted about a year, and for want of a better term she's 'grown out of it' and is now interested in things she used to be again and happier.
I didn't really 'do' a lot. I arranged counselling for her, spoke to the school and other close adults about it and was just there really, whatever happened I tried to not be cross or make it about my concern and fears for her, but about her.
It's very worrying - is there a chance your DD is trying to 'fit in' with this group so is copying their behaviour but actually isn't feeling that way herself? From what you described she is like away from the group it'd be my guess she's soaking this up from them and trying to fit in, and being around negative people a lot does bring you down too, so while around them and listening/interacting in that way she's feeling like that, but when away she's fine?
Sorry not much help I know, hang in there

Thank you Bus.
I totally think part of it is trying to fit in. Like I said when she isn't with them or when she has had a fall out with them she is completely different.
To be honest like you said if I was around someone who was so negative I think I would feel down too.

What was the trigger in it stopping?
At the moment she is determined to go to the same college as them and that terrifies me.