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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When to cut the neighbours internet connection off?

191 replies

Sammyham88 · 12/09/2018 01:01

New neighbours moved in across the hall from me yesterday. They knocked on to introduce themselves and ask if they could get the password for the wifi, their English was very broken and I'd just got out the shower so feeling a tad embarrassed being stood there with sopping wet hair and also not wanting to coming across rude on our first meeting just gave it to them..

However my connection is shite now, everything is taking ages to load or stream and I'm kinda worried that with our struggling to communicate properly they think the wifi is included like I've had in other buildings I've lived in before, really don't want to bring up this issue so soon when I've only just met them and given them the code.

AIBU to give it two weeks and then change the password and if they say anything respond by saying I'd have thought they'd probably have their own connection set up by now or should I stop being a wuss, give it a couple of days and then pop around to explain the situation? After having a complete arse living across from before I really don't want us to get off on the wrong foot

OP posts:
Emma765 · 12/09/2018 04:50

You're a good person, OP Flowers

Looks like they've assumed it's shared Wi-Fi, just explain you were happy to help until they got set up but you're very sorry, the Wi-Fi is now too slow as a result.

AgentJohnson · 12/09/2018 06:15

Change the password immediately and do not explain, if they ask tell them that they need to sort out their own provider. Being neighbourly doesn’t mean being a pushover, there’s a danger that you could becom

For people suggesting that stealing information from a WiFi network is difficult are obviously not tech savvy enough to do it themselves but with the right software scammers could easily get access to your information or even trick you into revealing information (phishing). By giving out her password the OP has given her neighbours access to her hopefully secured network.

pictish · 12/09/2018 06:35

Why on earth have you invited them round for tea?

You change the WiFi password and if they come back to you, you explain that the WiFi isn’t communal and they’ll have to sort out their own. I don’t know why you gave it to them in the first place but there we go...now you feel you have to appease them over this by inviting them for tea? You don’t!

Don’t be a people pleaser OP, it just leaves you vulnerable to being made a mug of. Fair enough if you get to know them a bit and want their company for a cuppa...but you know nothing about them and you’re not obliged to them in any way.
Toughen up.

HoppingPavlova · 12/09/2018 06:39

They knocked on to introduce themselves and ask if they could get the password for the wifi, their English was very broken and I'd just got out the shower so feeling a tad embarrassed being stood there with sopping wet hair and also not wanting to coming across rude on our first meeting just gave it to them.

Going to change the password now and if they ask why they can no longer access it try to, as simply as possible explain why I don't feel comfortable them using my wifi.

Have written a short note about how the wifi isn't shared and how they can get themselves connected whilst also inviting them round for a cuppa so we can keep on good terms (although, another AIBU, don't really want them to take me up on the offer of a brew as always tired after work and cba entertaining when I'd rather be relaxing grin)

With due respect, do you have something wrong with you?

People rock up to your door and ask for your wi-fi password so you just give it to them. Because you have wet hair .....

You then have to try and get some story together on why you don't feel comfortable with them using your wi-fi when they have no right to use it anyway so it really doesn't need any convoluted story.

You plan on offering them an invitation to come around for a cup of tea/coffee when you don't want them to come around for tea/coffee.

It's just weird to be frank. Do you know the word NO is actually a complete sentence.

Angrybird345 · 12/09/2018 06:51

Just change the password and be done with it. If they ask, just say no.

londonrach · 12/09/2018 06:58

Just change it now. If the download things they not meant to you will be in trouble. Never ever ever give your wifi out like this!

Fatted · 12/09/2018 06:58

I can't believe you gave it too them?! I would have it shut the door on them for the CF of it all!

montFleur · 12/09/2018 07:00

There's a lot of misunderstanding (as usual on threads like these) about what is illegal and what you're responsible for.

They could be doing anything legal / illegal on the internet and it is not your job to police them. You are not breaking the law.

The chance of them hacking into your computers because of a shared LAN is very low. If they wanted to do this then they could without having the password because they have opportunity.

I'd stop them but that's because of them slowing the speeds down instead of hysterical 'but they could be looking at pron' reasons.

TheCakeCrusader · 12/09/2018 07:00

Change your WiFi password immediately and stop feeling like you have to justify why to your neighbours. If they ask, say that your WiFi is private and they’ll need to set up/ pay for their own.

Don’t get into a convoluted conversation with them over this, keep in short and polite.

Groovee · 12/09/2018 07:01

Switch it off while you work out how to change the password.

AdaColeman · 12/09/2018 07:02

"Well I had wet hair Your Honour" won't go down too well in court, if they are doing anything illegal!

hailstone1 · 12/09/2018 07:03

Change it now! I lent mine to my neighbour and he committed identity theft on me. Spent thousands and it took a year to stop people chasing me. Couldn't get a mortgage or anything!

TheMythicalChicken · 12/09/2018 07:05

I would change the password AND the log on name. So they just think it's not available anymore. If you change only the password, then they will know and it might cause bad feeling.

Emma765 · 12/09/2018 07:06

With due respect, do you have something wrong with you?

Is it really necessary to be so rude? How ironic that you'd say with due respect and then show none whatsoever.

Hissy · 12/09/2018 07:09

I agree, just switch it off, stop worrying about how they will feel, it’s not your problem it’s theirs to resolve

You don’t need the note or anything, just change it and be done with it

You don’t need to explain or justify, certainty don’t need to invite them for tea or feel you have to keep on their good side! They aren’t bothering to think of you in this.

You’re given them 24 hours, that’s enough

hailstone1 · 12/09/2018 07:10

You sound like you're a lovely person and only trying to help. I'm sure it was confusion on their part but I've experienced a malicious side of someone telling me they were struggling to fill out a job application and messing my credit for a long period of time (as I mentioned above). Hope you get it sorted xx

EK36 · 12/09/2018 07:16

I think you sound lovely OP. You need to stop being too nice to strangers and think about 'if I asked them what would they say?' and do that instead. I used to be the same as you. I have changed. Ive realised that I can say, "no..im sorry" without being rude and dont need to explain why. When Im caught at a bad moment I now try to buy time to think about what I'm being asked..so next time you're caught out at the door e.g. out the shower...just say " I'm busy, come back in an hour". Use that time to think about what you're being asked.

Feelshortchanged · 12/09/2018 07:17

ana18 people cannot get your banking passwords from using your wifi 😂

NewYearNewMe18 · 12/09/2018 07:21

if they download child abuse images, anything illegal, or anything to do with terrorism or even trolling people online then you could get in trouble as that is being done from your WiFi.

^ this is absolute bollox. It isn't the wifi that would get you arrested, its the images/search history on the device. I really wish people with absolutely NO legal background would stop spouting shite what they think^ the law might say.

NewYearNewMe18 · 12/09/2018 07:23

I lent mine to my neighbour and he committed identity theft on me

He didn't do that by gaining access to your wifi - he did that by intercepting your mail and going through your bins

montFleur · 12/09/2018 07:23

Feelshortchanged

But what if they dun a fraud on her?

Emma765 · 12/09/2018 07:23

OP I'm going against the grain a bit but do think you should tell them you've changed your password. Looks like as it's a big house they've assumed there's communal Wi-Fi, and you giving them your password will have reinforced this and they won't be considering getting their own, they'll just think there's a problem.

You don't have to be best mates or have them round for tea but approaching them might help ensure there's no awkwardness. Putting myself in their shoes and assuming it's a genuine misunderstanding I'd hope that you'd be kind enough to explain to me.

Pollypocket090 · 12/09/2018 07:24

What an awkward start to neighbourhood!

CutesyUserName · 12/09/2018 07:25

@HoppingPavlova: Why such a bitch?

NewYearNewMe18 · 12/09/2018 07:27

Please change WiFi password and I would change banking password etc for online banking you can never be too careful

Grin Grin Grin staggers belief really. you cant get someone information by access their wifi - other wise I and eleventy billion others would be trawling through Starbucks accounts.