Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have had enough of Red herring BF stories?

45 replies

BunsOfAnarchy · 11/09/2018 22:08

Flame me if you will

But for real? Can it just stop?
These dumb ass pretend entitled stories are ludicrous. If its not Daily Mail then its on here!
You have as much right to BF anywhere another mother can bottle/spoon feed her child. Its common sense surely!
So no, not in a swimming pool where its not allowed.
Not in the adults only section of anywhere.

Yes, if your being discriminated against for actually breastfeeding itself in places/situations an otherwise bottle/spoon fed baby would be allowed, then yes, those are the stories worthy of news because its that opinion that needs challenging.

Sick of other mothers making it about BF when it clearly is not!
I have EBF everywhere with my daughter and i use my common sense rather than newfound entitlement. I have never found a place where i have been unable to breastfeed nor have i ever had anyone give me any funny looks or ask me to leave. The only issue i have ever faced is lack of room for my pram. I am no better or worse than a mother who bottle feeds. I dont see why i should be treated any better or worse for that matter.

I'll wear my hard hat.

OP posts:
Nutkins24 · 11/09/2018 22:14

I have EBF everywhere with my daughter and i use my common sense rather than newfound entitlement. I have never found a place where i have been unable to breastfeed nor have i ever had anyone give me any funny looks or ask me to leave.

Yep this ^. The thing is, the reason the fail like to print these stories is simply to whip up anti breastfeeding sentiment and start a ‘debate’ about public breastfeeding for the zillionth time. It’s a really shame because many new mums do feel very self conscious about feeding out and about at 1st when the reality is the vast vast majority of people don’t notice or care.

cheesefield · 11/09/2018 22:21

Agreed.

elephantoverthehill · 11/09/2018 22:32

It is legal to have and BF a 'baby in arms' in a pub, I was told this by a publican, even if the pub has a no children policy. I have 3 DCs and have EBF them for the first 4 months and sorry craicnet the only time I have been asked to 'do it somewhere else' is in Dungarvan. A bit strange as the occasion was DS's Christening

ThirdChildFourthPile · 11/09/2018 22:34

Agree!

MistressoftheYoniverse · 11/09/2018 22:38

Relaxxxx...Chamomile tea anyone Brew

Littlecaf · 11/09/2018 22:38

I’ve breastfed in a church, if that was fine then most places are. Just sit somewhere quiet, get on with it and 90% of people don’t notice.

TheSheepofWallSt · 11/09/2018 22:43

I’ve breastfed in pubs, parks, supermarkets, church, art galleries, on the towpath, on the back of my canal boat, on trains, in black cabs, in the GP consulting room, during my smear test (that was interesting).....

I have been asked not to a couple of
Times- once in a John Lewis cafe by an older woman who was just appalled - but more often people who came over, came to chat, keep me company, congratulate me
or to offer me a cup of tea or glass of water (always gratefully received) (I was almost always alone with DS as a single parent living in London)

Kitsandkids · 11/09/2018 22:47

I have once been asked not to breastfeed somewhere. It was in a waiting/viewing type area where food and drink was allowed and my baby was less than 6 months old at the time I think. A member of staff told me I wasn't allowed to 'do that here' so I just told him I was legally allowed to breastfeed her in any public place and he was breaking the law telling me I couldn't. He apologised and went on his way. I didn't go to the papers.

Original poster
BunsOfAnarchy · 11/09/2018 22:47

@MistressoftheYoniverse

Gosh i do sound really shouty dont i. Ill take that tea to go Grin

@Littlecaf
Agreed! I BFed in my local Sikh temple. Everytime i BF in public im usually too busy amazon surfing or reading my book to even see if anyone else is watching.

OP posts:
dinosaurkisses · 11/09/2018 22:51

Agreed.

However at least the OP in the thread you’re referring to was possibly still in that newborn haze where many women think they’re the first to ever give birth and sustain a child through bf- that’ll fade.

What really ground my gears was the 20% of posters who said she wasn’t being unreasonable and crying about discrimination legislation and how some people have no compassion and that rules are there to be broken.

0lgaDaPolga · 11/09/2018 22:54

Yep totally agree. It seems a lot of people think that the laws about breastfeeding gives them extra rights rather than making sure they have the same rights as bottle feeding mums. One of my friends was moaning that she was asked to stop feeding her baby in the swimming pool and she seemed to think it was ok to breastfeed a baby in a pool but not bottlefeed a baby in a pool Hmm

willynillypie · 11/09/2018 23:08

making sure they have the same rights as bottle feeding mums

I wish people would stop using bottle feeding as the benchmark - it shouldn’t be. It is a great alternative to BF but BF should be the benchmark.

Original poster
BunsOfAnarchy · 11/09/2018 23:36

@dinosaurkisses
This is it. Rules are rules and discretion is exactly that - discretion. Surely common sense and an equal right between BF and FF should prevail?
Plus i dont understand why people were quoting discrimination legislation; that would only be valid if the same area where she was asked to leave from had a bottle/spoon feeding mother allowed to stay at the discretion of management.

OP posts:
Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 12/09/2018 04:19

Yep. Ive been breastfeeding for 3.5 years snd still going with number 2. Never had anything but supportive comments. When my first was a baby, one lovely lady even came and cut my lunch up for me in a cafe so i could eat while feeding. I'm sure negative experiences do happen from time to time but not to anyone I know.

CocoDeMoll · 12/09/2018 04:26

I think a lot more needs to be done to make breastfeeding mums feel as comfortable as bottle feeders and for public breastfeeding to be normalised as much as public bottle feeding in this country but I agree these stories seem to have the opposite affect.

Monty27 · 12/09/2018 04:26

LOOK WHAT I AM DOING, COS I KNOW YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE
AND I AM ALLOWED TO, AREN'T I JUST SO SPECIAL!! ME ME ME'
It's all about me!
FFS this argument bores me to tears.

CocoDeMoll · 12/09/2018 04:28

Breastfeeding mums are not the OPs of these bullshit stories generally. They’re just mums who have the right to feed their baby’s without feeling like they’re doing something inappropriate.

Pornstarlips · 12/09/2018 04:30

monty grow up

Pornstarlips · 12/09/2018 04:34

Breastfeeding babies feed on demand unlike formula fed. Some people do mind when breastfeeeding, especially in places where you eat food, but I do not give a shit as my baby is my priority.

Bloodybridget · 12/09/2018 04:39

I witnessed a woman being told she couldn't breastfeed her very young baby in a government office, a few years ago - I was utterly shocked and wrote to complain about it but it was brushed off. It was the asylum seekers screening unit in Croydon, the woman was in a waiting area, was shouted at by a staff member and made to go off some distance to a toilet; she had a little girl with her too. Wish I had spoken up for her at the time, I still feel furious about it now.

Monty27 · 12/09/2018 04:40

I bf my 3 DC's thanks very much porn but I never made a song and dance about it.
Btw I am quite short, how did you know? Hmm

Moody123 · 12/09/2018 04:42

I agree, I've never faced any issues BF my LO. An old woman bought me a cupcake tho, when I was feeding in Sainsbury's cafe 😊 and I got a free coffee and told to take as long as I need in Vassarie passtriesry!

beclev24 · 12/09/2018 04:46

YANBU and i hate this too.

bizarrely though, having breastfed 3 DC the only place i have ever been told to cover up while bf was, I kid you not in the NICU at the hospital with a one day old ill DS. They told me that I was showing too much and it might offend some people so needed to use a cover or a screen. WTAF

Aridane · 12/09/2018 04:47

It is legal to have and BF a 'baby in arms' in a pub,

So children not allowed but babies are??

SD1978 · 12/09/2018 04:53

I believe some people do come up against bigotry, but I believe that there are many more stories that need more unicorns and are vastly exaggerated. I EBF. I got on with it anywhere and everywhere. I don't know if people were looking- I was too busy feeding the child to be looking around for an argument or a fight. Same with bottle fed. If the public are out there judging, commenting and humiliating every man in a change room and woman feeding a baby whatever way they do- I've obviously not been going out at the right times- or have been going out at the right times as I know no one this has happened to, and no one I know has recounted this happening to anyone they know.