To say my 9yr old is too young to take a 4yr old to the park?

[Allgoodnamesaregone]

DD is 9. Her cousin is 4. She sees him often when she goes to her dad's. She has recently started going to the local park at her dad's with friends. It's opposite the street behind his, probs 5 minute walk at most, but not visible from his house. It's a quiet village with very little traffic. DD told me tonight she had taken her cousin to the park & he ran in front of the ice cream van three times. She's not that streetwise herself, & doesn't get to cross many roads alone, although where I live is a lot busier. Shes not immature, but not overly mature either. AIBU thinking she is too young for that responsibility?

Yanbu. I would be before 11 years old and they had been at secondary school for a while. However I'm prepared to be told I am ott

Wouldnt **

Yes too young and clearly not safe from ice cream van incidents.

Absolutely way too young.
Even for a 9 year old to go to the park alone is too young, let alone taking a four year old along with them.

My 9yo is pretty sensible but I wouldn’t let her be in charge of a small child without an adult in sight.

She's too young. Whoever is responsible for the 4 year old should be ashamed to put her in this position. I imagine some 9 year olds are ok with this type of responsibility. My kids are 12 and 7. The older one is captain sensible but I wouldn't have made him responsible for a 4 year old when he was 9. & it would absolutely depend on the 4 year old whether I'd even allow it now

My 9yo isn't allowed out alone never mind with Our 4yo!!

Way too young. Imagine if something terrible happened? How would she cope with that?

My 9 yr old is very mature and helpful but this is not the right responsibility for a 9 yr old. I’d be very cross at someone putting my child in that position. Imagine how she’d feel if something happened.

I wouldn't let my 9 year old go to the park alone. Never supervising a 4 year old!

Way too young to be responsible for a 4 year old!
I’m not sure how I’d feel about her at the park by herself either.

Most definitely nbu I wouldn't let my 4 Yr old go to the park without an adult, she's much too unpredictable.

Yanbu. 9yos shouldn't be put in charge of 4yos.

Thank you. I am mad, I texted her dad but we don't get in well so I'll be ignored or he will be nasty saying I'm making a fuss because I'm bitter. At home we have a playing field across the road with a park in the far corner. I allow her to take the dog for a run on the field as I can watch her across the road, & watch her from the window...she loves that bit of responsibility. I don't let her go to the park alone as I can't see it properly from my house. I just started letting her take a message to my mams in the summer hols, it's 2 mins away with no roads to cross. I think, at her dad's, as long as she goes to the park with friends & they stick together, that's ok...but not being responsible for the 4yr old.
Thank you for your replies.

I wouldn't let a 9 year old be responsible for a 4 year old. I appreciate this works for some families though.
I think, if possible in your circumstances, I would text the parent of the cousin and tell them that this is happening, and that you are concerned as to the potential repercussions.

YANBU in this particular case, not because of their ages - for some kids it would be okay - but because you know that your own daughter can't handle it and that her little cousin is impulsive.

I think that this is a matter for the cousin's parents. Do you have a way of contacting them directly?