To think I'll manage having a toddler and a c section

[mintich]

Due on 4 weeks and making decisions about my birth plan.
I had a horrific birth last time and so have been set on a c section. There is a part of me that is thinking that if I had a vaginal birth (with no problems) then I would be able to cope better after the birth. Obviously no one can promise that I'd have no problems, and if the same thing happened again, I'd be so upset.
What would you do in my situation?
If you have a toddler, how did you cope after and elective c section?

I'm hoping most people are right.
I had a c section with DS 13 months ago, and I am now 6 weeks pregnant and I am worried about how hard it will be with a 21mo at home who is a bit clingy. But you just make it work.
DH did loads last time and used 2 weeks paternity and 2 weeks holiday so did have a whole month booked off. I was discharged after 24 hours last time, day 3 after DS was born we went for McDonalds breakfast at 5am. And day 4 we went to the pub so DS could meet his grandad. I remember it being quite painful but manageable after the first 2 days or so.

It still seems absolutely mad to me that with any other major surgery you'd be kept in for way longer with a lot more pain relief.
To have major abdominal surgery, to be admitted and released within 24 hours and to be sent home with paracetamol is still mind blowing to me! (Even though I do want to her home faster for DS.)

MsHopey I agree!

Recovery in my experience is easier after an elective Cs than an emergency one. Sounds like you w8ll have support and be fine. I was.

With partner to help you will be fine. Just take things really easy for two weeks.

MsHopey I entirely agree and this is something that really bugs me. My husband had his appendix removed with keyhole surgery and was sent home with strong prescription painkillers, and my brother recently fractured a finger and had the same - yet women have major abdominal surgery and are sent home with over the counter medications. It’s ridiculous!

I had 3 c-sections, the last when DD was 3 years old. My DH went on tour for 3 months a week after the birth (couldn't be helped) and we had no family/friends around, so it was pretty tough at times. However, from a recovery and looking after both point of view, it wasn't horrendous by any means. I think you'll be fine.

I was sent home with diclofenac both times. That's not OTC is it?

Phew! I'm starting to feel less nervous now. You can never know what it's going to be like.
Think I'm getting to that stage of pregnancy where you get nervous about everything!

I had a 20 month old and a newborn.
Stock up on over the counter painkillers. I had a ELCS in 2016 and was sent home with diclofenic but another section in 2017 was sent home with nothing.
I also booked a cleaner for 8 weeks.
Beware you won't be able to drive for 6 weeks, my GP wouldn't sign me off as safe until then and my insurance would only go with what the GP said. Was very annoying!
Midwife said not to lift anything heavier than baby for 6 weeks but my husband went back to work after 3 weeks so I didn't have much choice as toddler was still in a cot.
You will be fine, preparation is key.

I had a emcs 10 weeks ago and was home within 24 hours. My dh was at home for the first 2 weeks and I made sure not to pick my 3 yr old dd up, told her to climb up onto my knee etc. But I found it easier than being heavily pregnant tbh.

I was sent home with absolutely nothing and told only to take painkiller if necessary and I’d have to go and buy them.

I do not remember those times fondly.

But I was hoovering within 72 hours and driving within two weeks so I think you’ll be ace. AND you’ll get toddler help which is very cute.

Wasn't an issue for me. My daughter had just turned three. After ten days I was pretty much back to normal. Husband was still on paternity leave by that point though. How long will your partner have off?

I would definitely go for vaginal if I could just to avoid major surgery and more pain afterwards. That said if you choose C-section or it happens through no choice of your own you'll cope fine.

What was your recovery like last time? Often an ELCS recovery is no worse than a difficult vaginal birth recovery

Oh yes I remember them saying they no longer sent patience home with pain relief at my hospital! and to by it yourself. Not good!

I'm in the middle of this at the moment with a 21mo and week old baby after an ELCS. I've had my parents here who have now tagged in with my sister, they've all looked after the toddler so I can focus on baby and getting breastfeeding established and sleep when she does!
I was by myself for a couple of hours yesterday but managed with a bit CBeebies, having her eat lunch on my lap rather than high chair, and being grateful she can climb stairs for nap time.
DH takes paternity from next week and so I'll have had almost four weeks of help, and be through the worst of recovery by the time I'm by myself. Toddler will be going to nursery two days a week then, too. We'll get through it

I had a 22 month old and a c section. The only thing I found tricky was that she still slept in the cot and I struggled a bit at first lifting her in and out.

I guess, a natural birth could go wrong and you could end up with complications which you wouldn’t have with an uncomplicated c section. But then you might have issues with your c section. No way to tell really.

You will cope because you have to! It will be fine.

I've recently had a 2nd cs for my 2nd baby and have a 2.5year old. It has been tough at times but overall ok. Not being able to drive was a pain, luckily my partner could take a long period off work and still took the older child to classes, nursery etc. If he hadn't been there it would have been horrendous/impossible trying to keep the older one's routine without driving.

My sister also recently gave birth to her 2nd, but hasn't had a cs either time. Her recovery has been amazing and I am a bit jealous! She was up and about and only a little sore basically immediately afterwards. That's the ideal, but of course is not the case for everyone! Just the way it goes.

I had an emcs a week ago, and have a 2.9yo dd at home. So far we’re managing fine. Dh has 2 weeks off so he’s doing the brunt of chasing and manhandling the toddler when necessary, and chores like loading the washing machine / dishwasher.

I’m in a lot less pain, and much more mobile after a week, so hoping I’ll feel better still in another week when dh goes back to work.

So my experience is that it’s absolutely doable. But definitely get as much help as possible on hand for the first 2-4 weeks at least. Especially if you’re still going to have to help the toddler with e.g climbing the stairs or lifting into a cot.

We timed getting dd out of a cot and into a proper bed spectacularly badly, as we moved her the day before ds arrived (he was unexpectedly early!). Fortunately it’s not been too bad, and I’m glad I’m not hefting her in and out of the cot anymore!

PFB emergency c section, two years later vaginal delivery. Recovered from the section faster than the vaginal delivery. Coped with toddler no problem even though in much worse shape than after c section.
2 year old was a great help, you will be fine.

I had family staying (grandparents took turns!) so that really helped. However if you really really rest for the first two weeks you should be okay. If your DH can do any kind of flexi on weeks 3-4 the use it! My DH agreed with his boss that he would take 3 days holiday but just go home early each day. That helped massively. There was no policy on it, he just asked.

I've had four, I found the fourth section harder as they had opened up my scar four times but I coped fine. When I had my third section I was a single mum, so had no one else there to help. I worried about coping but I did ok.

Can your partner take 2 weeks holiday straight after paternity leave?

How old is your toddler?

Can your partner take paternity leave? By two weeks post section I’d forgotten I’d even had surgery to be honest. I’ve had seven keyhole abdominal surgeries and found the Emcs recovery no worse, actually better in some ways. In fact I can only remember struggling once, maybe a week after my section, my dressing removed and my scar kept sticking to my thighs. Other than that I don’t remember any major problems after the first 12 hours.