Arsehole of an stbxh at it again

[bunchybaby]

I'm am so sick of him and petty stupidness .

We split over a year ago and he is still managing to push my buttons . 2 primary dcs .

He wanted true 50/50 with the dcs- I agreed without a argument . He claims one cb I claim the other.no maintenance received from either side.he took the entire contents of the bank accounts on the basis he needed to set up a new home , again i didn't argue ( approx £3k) . He has paid nothing to me since that day for anything .

He took everything he wanted from the martial home-again no argument , even taking higher value stuff and selling it rather than just leaving it with me .this week has decide that a year later he wants money back for leaving me the washing machine and lawnmower.

Also this week - has changed the kids addresses with the school to his house without consulting me first ( I'm not happy but can I do anything ?)

Also this week- divorce papers landed on his mat and he has kicked off at me claiming (potentially, the judge has to decide) all or part of the £550 it's just cost me to file the bloody thing. Apparently it shouldn't come at a cost to him at all .

I was so glad to see the back of him and live without the constant 'I am god and you are shit' that I feel like I've made it so easy for him and yet he still wants more from me , battling over every little thing , constant watching my back as He has served court papers on me before ( he wanted more than 50/50 -said he was the better parent because I worked full time and his job was more flexible - judge told him to sod off)

Anyway so for the ramble I'm just infuriated with it all .. so aibu to block his number for a few days until I am able to recharge and face it's all again , it can't stay blocked because of the kids

Go back to the school and change the addresses back, tell him he's still trying to control and abuse you now he's moved out. That he not to change them again as it's all going to end up in court. Check the doctors offices and Dentist in case he changed those too. Make sure he hasn't tried to change cb.
Get your solicitor to take him for everything seeing he obviously isn't going to be at all resonable and is still trying to take you for everything he can.

tell the school, not tell him.

What Troels said.

And don't give him money for the washing machine and lawnmower.

Have you paid the £550? Why is he claiming it?

Yeah I’d start playing hrdball now he’s being a twat. I’d inform the school that he shouldn’t have done that and to change addresses back and then speak to solicitor ASAP.

Please don't drag the school into a petty tug of war. But do ask for a copy of all communication. If you've got 50/50 care then just try to focus on the things that need to be said.

My list.
Lawnmower & washing machine = tell him you would want have of the 3k he took.
Addresses = tell school to add you back (I think they will happily send out two versions of everything.
Divorce costs = let Judge decide.
Don't block him. The more you back down the more he will ask for.
No is a complete sentence. Start practicing.

Don't block him but reply to texts only so you have a trail. Don't answer calls, text back say you missed the call and text to you what he wants to talk about.

From my recollection of filling in divorce paperwork it asks you if you have a good reason why you shouldn't pay half but says generally you're expected to split it.

You've been overly generous already in terms of money/goods, so I agree with PP to tell him the goods come out of the £3000

I've already paid the £550 to the courts to start the divorce process , There is a tick box in the papers that say something like do you want to claim any costs back from the respondent , so I ticked yes knowing that if the judge decide he should pay half then so be it but if not then I've already spent it so that's that .

He hit the roof saying I was trying to con him then refused to sign the papers . I was very calm and just said you do what you feel is right .. he then asked if he could pay half to me now (id asked him prior to this but he always said no ) as he is worried the court will make him pay it all and that's not fair .. I refused his offer and said let's just see what happens ( see , I am trying to take back control a bit where I can ) it's money spent that I'd budgeted for so I'm happy to get nothing and take my chances.

I've not mentioned anything to the school as yet but they are aware of the situation so a quick email should clear that up .

What's gets me down is the constant battle over everything.. just shut the flip up and get on with your own life . I can't be any fairer (I don't think ) but it's just never enough

And I don't think a solicitor will help . There is nothing left to spilt , house is rented , he had whatever contents he wanted plus the £3k .

I work full time , I agreed ( well , I haven't made a claim to it or tried to get any money out of it )to him having the business ( one man band trade type business) as I know he has to provide for the kids somehow and it earns him around the same ish as my full time wage . I have enough ( not a stealth boast but I feel I'm comfy on my wage) to not be unfair .

We had no other assets or savings , our money was separate because he was a tight arse and regularly left me with nothing ( when kids were little and I was part time ) whilst he swanned around in designer clothes telling me I should budget better .

Sorry that turned into a rant .. it does feel good to get it out though

Sounds like he just wants to see if he can push you buttons. Well done for being so calm for so long!

please don't keep giving in to his demands. my mum did similar to you in that she divorced my dad and let him keep the house, the furniture, everything. we left with a car full of stuff and no money to move hundreds of miles and in with my aunty.
she seemed to think it made her the bigger person (despite the divorce bring fully his fault) but all I remember was losing everything, having my life turned upside down and being poor.
I know my example is more extreme but the money he's demanding is money that could go on the kids and it's just a power play to him.

Stop with the "I didn't argue" tactic. It doesn't work. When he rips you off, object, a lot.

You should be able to get some of that £3k and furniture cost back from his share of remaining assets in the divorce. Go for it.

If he's screaming at you then you are probably doing something right.

I think you are doing everything just right.

But do make sure the school know that everything they email to parents should go to you, as well as him, I volunteer in a primary school. and I know that separated parents can book separate slots at parents' evening, so make sure that is on their radar too if that is what you want.