WWYD- NR parent consistently late

[PippilottaLongstocking]

Just that really, we’ve been separated for years but only recently got a court order in place. He’s never been consistent with contact (which is why I got the court order) but he’s been picking DS up on time then dropping him back 5-20 minutes late. He’s never been less than 5 minutes late. I wouldn’t mind once or twice but I feel like he’s just taking the piss really, but it’s not late enough for it to be worthwhile getting the order enforced. I tried asking him to be on time once and all he did was pick DS up 10 minutes early instead. Do I just have to put up with it?

Agree. Do not play games or come back late. That's not the advice of a sensible parent and I'm sure you would agree anyway.

thethoughtfox he was/is very controlling, to the extent of suicide threats etc

mind I won’t be playing any games, I intend to always be there for DS as soon as he gets back

My ex is like this even tries to convince them I'm a few mins late if he happens to be on time

For controlling ex's yes it is about control - you will wait till I decide its time to come back.

It's not forever but still annoying as hell

Why are you standing there while he talks at you? He can send an email later with anything important.

@PippilottaLongstocking

My mum & dad had this issue with me. My mum had me on Tuesday after school untill 6pm, she never got me home on time, sometimes 5 minutes sometimes 10 minutes late, my dad used to loose his shit. & my mum made out he was crazy. However, I used to have scouts at 6.30 so if we didn't leave at 6.10 I would be late. Mum never cared & I think she did it on purpose to wind up my dad to be honest. However at the same time scouts was closer to mums house but dad would never let me take my uniform there & let my mum drop me off because of the order little bit ridiculous as far as I'm concerned.

If it is messing with routine though I'd maybe politely remind him that you like to get kids in bed at x o'clock & that you don't have time to chat etc & that you could really do with kids being home at x o'clock unless for whatever reason there is traffic etc blah blah.

My dad has my daughter every Thursday for Tea & brings her home at around 8pm, on a usual night she is bed settled at this time so when dad is 15/30 minutes late I tend to get a bit upputy as that 30 minutes late means she's often just over an hour late into bed 👎🏽 so I can really see why this would grind on you. Hopefully a polite reminder of children's bedtime routine etc will do the trick xxx