To not like voice notes?

[MrsStrowman]

Just that really, I have a friend who rather than call or text will send voice notes, often ten minutes plus. I find them a PITA, I have to be somewhere quiet to listen to them, and it feels a bit controlling, like a conversation I'm not allowed to have an input into. I would have no issue with a phone call. For example a week or so ago I knew she had a family event she was a bit unsure of so the next day I text her saying, how was it? Hope everything went well (for context it was a Monday day time and we were both at work). I got three voice notes in response ranging from fifteen to ten minutes. AIBU to want her to either text me so I can read them wherever, or call? Even if she'd messaged and said too long to text I'll call you later etc, that would've been fine. AIBU or is this how people communicate now?

That's really weird.

Oh and YANBU that would piss me right off

I love them!! but ours normally last 3 mins max each. I would stop listening after 10-15 mins

I’ve heard people talking about voice notes but I don’t know how they work!
They sound like they might be annoying though

Your friend is fucking crazy. Honestly, this is beyond bizarre. I'm imagining her blabbering into her phone creating these notes and I'm just dumbfounded. Who does this??

I hate them too. I've got a friend a lotyounger than me who sends me them, never 10 minutes though! I don't understand why she doesn't just write text as it's really inconvenient to listen to recordings.

DH overhead 2 teen boys on a train listening to messages and recording a reply, presumably with another friend. One boy said to the other that waiting for an answer really annoyed him and he wished there was a way to have the reply come straight away...

You'd think he'd never heard of a phone call!

I don't mind the odd funny one, I've got another friend and occasionally she will send me a voicenote from the car because she's driving and can do it all hands free, but that's usually her singing me a bit of a song that reminds her of something we did together that's cropped up on the radio and saying, speak to you later let's catch up soon etc. They're quite sweet.
The long voice note friend is also one that needs to be handled with kid gloves, so even though I was really busy and had a super stressful day that Monday, if I hadn't text her about her family thing she would've gone NC for a bit. She does a low pressure day to day job, no kids, and rarely goes out our has any plans so it feels like every move I make is closely scrutinised. I'd go NC but I've known her DH since I was a child and know all of his family really well, so when I met her years ago I made the effort to get to know her, and I do like her, she can just be quite hard work. Like if I say I don't like the voice notes and would rather chat to get our get messages (I'll be able to reply quicker to them too) she will likely get offended. Ugh..

Aghhh this would bug me. They’re used a lot by MLM huns too I think. Hopefully that’s not what your friend is doing!

I wouldn’t bother to listen for 10 minutes. Send a text or call me.

I just don't see the point of them. I would never send one or listen to one I was sent. Thankfully I only text/call other untechy people so it's never been an issue

*chat to her or get messages...

@Namechangeforthiscancershit
No thankfully no MLM she has an admin job in a small office. She does post a lot of either 'positivity' meme type things on FB or thinly veiled digs at her SIL, who I also know because she's married to the other brother of the family I grew up with. I don't think there's an easy solution really, I just wanted to vent and see if I was just really out of touch by finding it irritating!

Is it that she prefers to do it over typing such a lengthy reply? Because most decent phones nowadays let you dictate a text message so surely that could be a solution for her (as she likes to babble) and you (as you’d prefer to read it!).

Next time she sends one text and say "can you text me your voice note because I'm in a noisy place and can't hear it" or something like that. Repeat until she stops sending them.

I don't mind the odd 15 second note but 10 mins would do my head in

I have a friend I rarely hear from, every couple of months of so, she'll send me a 15 minute long voice note. I agree it's like a conversation you can't have any input on. She dominates every real conversation we have, only interested in telling me what she's been up to and not interested in me. So I suppose a voice note gives her the best of both worlds, she can talk about herself and doesn't have to put any effort in to listen to me talk back. I stopped listening to them.

Huh. I thought voice notes were limited to seconds not minutes!

YANBU of course. I’d just not listen if they’re longer than a minute tbh.

@HaveSomeGrace I'm not sure why she does it, but I'd be just as happy with a phonecall as a text, or an email, the voice note it's just very one sided and I have to make time to sit somewhere quiet to listen to them

I don't understand why you think it's controlling? It's like leaving someone a voicemail, or having a conversation with pauses.

One of my friends and I regularly exchange voice notes because one of us tends to be travelling when we fancy a chat, and frankly, having a conversation over voice notes is less irritating than a call constantly cutting out due to poor/no signal.

Hate them. Also hate voicemails. Either send a text or wait for a time to have an actual conversation. Although I realise the latter suggestion probably indicates my age range ...!

I dislike voicemails too unless it's information giving eg, just to let you know I'm running late be there by half past. If someone left me three ten to fifteen minute voicemails rather than trolly to a text or call me for a chat I'd find that odd and irritating too

I do them and receive them all the time. I like hearing peoples voice and its less inconvenient than a phone call - I can listen to them while cooking or tidying away the washing or whatever. It gives me time to reflect properly on how to advise someone too

God DHs family do this on WhatsApp. Bloody annoying.

maybe she’s functionally illiterate and hiding it...

I don't like it from most people, but when my sister sends one, it's usually my niece saying something or, like the last one, singing something.
I adore these messages (and of course my niece).

But I have told the other family members that they can put whatever they like into them, I won't be listening to those. If they want to tell me something put it in writing.

@DieAntword now that would be a legitimate reason, but I know for a fact she's not, she wouldn't be able to do the job she does for a start and I've known her about ten years and the voice note thing only started in the last year

Losing her sight and in denial?