Meeting up with the ex...

[Swansongbabe]

I've been with my partner two years and I am going through a divorce. I have a son who is 11. My partner gets at least one text every few weeks from his ex who is also married to another. Usually these are requests to do diy in her shop. However in May they also had a secret lunch together. This quite upset me when I eventually found out and I asked him not to lie to me again. She then sent Face book memories to him but didn't put it on her wall. So the next month August she wants another Diy job done and I asked him to keep his distance this time and say he's too busy. He tried this but she wouldn't give up..BTW we live in a large seaside city where there are multiple handymen available. .and pressured him to do this ..texting all through our holiday. I asked him not to but I've since found out he did the job and lied about it. AIBU to be upset and annoyed with both of them for this? It feels wrong.

He is still shagging her.
Does her jobs to ensure her silence.
Imo.

No one does odd jobs for their ex unless they're getting something out of it.

His ex has remarried? Why isn't he doing the DIY? I'd contact the ex's new H and get him involved.

Does he have children with her? I think he is either sleeping with her or possibly trying to keep the piece for the children?

No no children with her

Ok. The fact that he is keeping it secret would be a concern, does he think you’d react badly.

On the face of it there’s nothing wrong with ex-partners being friendly and doing each other favours, however i would want to know why he felt he had to keep it secret.

Ok, no children with her, and both with new partners.
Absolutely no need (in my opinion) for them to have any contact at all, never mind doing diy for her.
However....If he’s a nice generous person, and their split was amicable, then no problem if he does the occasional favour because her new husband isn’t great at stuff like that - but demanding texts from her, and lies from him? Not ok at all.

My partner is amicable with his ex. No kids but a mortgage to sort out. Both have new partners. He is extra careful to let me know if he needs to meet her for solicitors appointments etc. Not on for your partner to lie about it, especially when you asked him to stop. He's putting her over you. I usually like to give people the benefit of the doubt but I think there's something very fishy here.