EPAU treatment of missed miscarriage

[Bexstar83]

Hi,

I'm new on here and to be honest not sure what to expect from posting but I just need to get this out there and see if this is usual..

Today I should be 12+1 however after some spotting I attended an EPAU appt 2 days ago where we were given the news that our baby had not developed beyond 4.5mm. As soon as I saw the screen I knew, the sight of my empty womb will haunt me forever.

Of course they had to go on to do the internal scan as they couldn't see anything externally. The sonographer then told us she recommended rescan in 7-10 days in case we'd got our dates wrong. We were baffled by this, we'd have to be out by about 5 weeks which would post date our positive pregnancy test.

Anyway, back in EPAU we were told that they recommend not rushing these things and to come back and rescan. She also said that the problem is that on a Sunday there is only one sonographer working and there has to be 2 to diagnose a miscarriage. I didn't want to wait as I knew what I'd seen so she told us we could book back in the following day for another scan which we did and another 2 people told me there is no heartbeat.

This time it was a different EPAU nurse who told us national guidelines are if the foetus measures under 7mm they have to wait a week "in case it grows" and that no doctor would prescribe meds in case of being struck off. Of course I was devastated to have had to go through all of that again to be no further forward, and have to do it aaall again next Monday.

If they'd known that was policy and immovable, why put me through another scan?
When 3 people now have told me there is no heartbeat and I've been told to stay off work and grieve, how can they then tell you to wait and see if it grows?!
I'd understand if I was presenting saying I was 9 weeks and it actually measured 7 or something but the difference is insurmountable.

I just feel that my ability to take control has been completely taken away from me. I have not yet been sign posted to any counselling etc either.
My husband also questioned the point of having Sunday appts with only one sonographer knowing that women who had lost would be put through another. The response was that some people have active pregnancies.

Feeling completely lost in limbo here.

I went through the same, I had to go in for 3 scans over 2 weeks before they would confirm that I had miscarried, they had to wait to see the embryo move down in my womb. It was a horrible couple of weeks, I knew instinctively the baby had gone, but because of them getting me back in for scans my dp at the time refused to accept the baby had died and kept maintaining that it might all be alright. The limbo is awful, sorry you’re going through this.

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's normal for them to wait and scan again and although heartbreaking for us I guess its better than them making a mistake and treating someone for a missed miscarriage when in fact they just got their dates wrong.

Im sorry you are going through this - it is horrible the uncertainty and the limbo but I can see why the protocols are in place. I am pregnant with twins, one died last week at 20 weeks and other is very poorly - we seem to be currently living scan to scan. So I might know a little of how you feel. Sending hugs

I had the opposite. Should have been 12 weeks and scan showed 6 weeks. Had an ERPC two days later without a second scan. I will always be haunted by the lack of a second look, and wonder if they got it wrong the first time and terminated a viable pregnancy.

It's a horrible situation whatever happens.

Hi there, it is rubbish and I'm sorry that you are going through this.
To be honest, as awful as it is, it's the normal course of events in these circumstances.
Many times they add blood tests for hcg levels every 2-3 days to see if they are rising, this adds to the utter torture and gives absolutely no meaningful information whatsoever.

Counselling may not be offered, you may need to arrange this privately, I've certainly never been offered it and I've had 7 miscarriages. Been where you are too many times.

It is the limbo that you rightly describe, the emptiness and the sorrow.

There is nothing that anyone can do or say to make this easier, you need to take the time to recover both physically and mentally.
From a practical perspective, make sure that you have access to good pain relief as it can be very painful, your gp can prescribe you something. Stock up on maternity pads, stay near a loo, eat, drink plenty of fluids and look after yourself.
All the best x

I had a similar thing - baby was developing far too slowly, we knew it would end in miscarriage but because it still had a heartbeat (albeit a slow one) I had to be scanned weekly until the heartbeat eventually stopped, and then wait another week to confirm. Then two weeks for an ERPC. Took 10 weeks altogether and was utterly hellish. Sympathies OP. It's really tough. I have a gorgeous DD now and she was so worth the wait. Wishing you the same happy ending.