Opinions - ideal age to have yor first baby?

[Violakins]

Just curious really... I’m pregnant with my first in my early 30s. Before this point, having DC was not an option for me as I’d not met anyone suitable, nor was I financially stable enough. My youngest sister however is 24, married (her DH is early 30s), own their home and earn very good salaries. She has recently told me that they are TTC as they feel that now is the perfect time. It seems so young to me, but it got me thinking, what is the ideal age to have your first?

Really depends on the individual. Mid-20s seems good as you’ve had enough to time to enjoy your teens and half your 20s but will be out the baby/toddler stage in your early 30s

I always said I wanted a child by 30 but I had my ds at 33.

I had mine at 34 and physically it has been harder than it should’ve been - I’ve ended up with an auto immune disorder brought on by the tiredness and hormonal changes.

However... I managed to fit in a lot of fun before that! I’ve enjoyed fabulous holidays and a great lifestyle that I feel I would’ve missed out on if I’d had my baby when I was younger.

I completely agree that it’s down to the individual though: I’ve met 20 year old mums through baby classes that were definitely ready for it. I wasn’t anywhere near ready in my 20s

I had DS (unplanned) at 22. I was in my last year of uni, living with my mum in a tiny flat. No job, DP worked part time in a shop. But we muddled through and I am now 27 DS is 5 and we are trying for number 2.

Obviously I wouldn't change DS for the entire world he changed my life, but I would say I have only just started to feel 'ready' for a baby. Both mentally and financially.

My sister on the other hand is 22 has had 2 DD's and is now 'done' feels like she has done the baby thing and now starting uni, different strokes and all that.

30+.

I can't imagine many people would be in a secure/stable enough position (job/career-wise, relationship-wise, financially etc) to be truly ready for a baby before 30 where I live.

And I think that that is reflected by the fact that the average woman is having their first baby at over 30.

I live in Sydney, Australia.

First at 33 and second (and last) at 37. I wish we'd started trying for second a bit earlier as it took us longer than expected and I worried it was too late for us, but managed to squeeze one last decent egg out so all good in the end.

I think earlier than 33 would have been no good for me, but that doesn't mean its the right age for everyond

I had DS at 27 and I think that was the right time for me. Financially waiting a few years would have helped but we manage fine. I am about to turn 30 and just in the last few months am suffering more from aches and pains so am glad I got pregnancy done while still young :)

I had my first at 32 and second (and last) at 37. That was completely ideal for me both times. No way I would have wanted to give up my 20s to be settled and raising kids. I worked abroad, travelled, got a PhD, partied it up and it was great. I don’t feel any regret at all that I didn’t have children sooner. Of course, I didn’t meet my dh til I was 28 anyway so wouldn’t have been possible even if I’d wanted to do it earlier. But I suspect some people feel like they’ve lived and done everything they wanted much younger so that’s fine for them too.

I had mine at 31 and 34. So far, so good, BUT, I didn’t have much a career beforehand. That was a mistake. I took a long time to get through university, so only graduated when I was 24. Then we moved around a lot with dh’s work, so my career never happened.

I was so desperate to go back to work after DC2 but we couldn’t realistically afford childcare (we’d lose money paying for childcare as my salary was low pre dcs). So I now have to work evenings and weekends in hospitality. It isn’t what I did my degree for and it’s a bit disheartening to be back doing what I did in school holidays. But hey ho. It’s a job and I get to get suited and booted, (it’s a Michelin Star, fine dining place), go out and have some adult time.

Anyway, if I had my time again and if I’d met dh (even) earlier, I’d possibly have them instead of the expensive, so far useless, degree if we could have afforded it (but we couldn’t have as dh was atudying too). Or I’d have really focussed on building a fantastic career first and having dcs later. But then I was worried about waning fertility, so didn’t want to leave it too long. As Kirsty Allsopp said “nature isn’t a feminist”.

“...to be back doing what I used to do for a bit of extra pocket money in school holidays” that should say. Realise I wasn’t very clear.

Ugh and if I’d met dh earlier I’d have possibly had children young instead of doing the expensive, useless degree! Sorry. Not making a lot of sense today.

2 years after getting married.