Nursery snack time

[Kemet]

Hi, my children are starting school nursery on Wednesday. At the home visit and on application form I stated that I don't want them to have hard fruit and veg such as apples, pears, carrot and celery, along with grapes and cherry tomatoes. I explained that I have no problem bringing in bananas, oranges, cucumber.

I received an email from the nursery teacher today stating that she understands me feeling anxious and my concerns but the best options going forward would be to ease them in by cutting their fruit into small pieces, ensure they are chewing properly and they stay seated with a first aid trained adult.

I don't want my children to have high risk choke foods such as apples and pears as of yet at nursery unless they were grated which we do at home. My child has had a choking incident with apple before and after doing research I'm now aware of high risk foods for under 5's.

I'm going to speak to the phase leader tomorrow to express I dont want my children to have these foods. Any advice would be grateful and where I stand i.e. can they withdraw their place if I stick to my wishes.

Thank you

My child has properly choked too. On a piece of well-cooked pasta. I had to put her over my arm and thump her back until it flew out and she could breathe again.
But still she goes to nursery and eats what the others eat because there is nothing preventing her from doing so.

While I sympathise with anxiety regarding choking I think that if you’re that concerned maybe you’re not ready to send them to nursery yet. Maybe think again and leave it a year until you’re confident?

YABU...and doing your children a massive disservice by grating their food! I'm sure you already know that this is YOUR issue and that your phobia/anxiety will be passed straight onto your children 🙄 They need to be allowed to eat fruit and other food in a normal, anxiety free environment...step away from the grater!!

I missed that they are three. At three mine ate apples, pears and plums straight off the trees.

Maybe keep them away from a nursery until you sort out your food issues

Your children may develop food issues if you keep them away from certain food just because

YABU

they’re not tiny babies, they are capable of eating hard fruit and veg in appropriately sized pieces

You’re going to give your DC an awful lot of hang ups about food with this attitude

Things like grapes and cherry tomatoes have to be cut up. They don't need fruit grated, unless there's other issues you haven't mentioned in your OP.

Oh my goodness that is extreme, no one wants their child to choke but honestly they could choke on anything. You are going to pass on some serious food issues to your children if you continue to baby them like this. Nursery would be a great place for them to start eating ‘high risk’ foods if you don’t feel confident at home.

Thank you very much for all your advice, I have taken the replies into consideration and I will take a deep breath and let it go!

I have 4 children 21, 8 and 3 year old twins, I have never restricted food before but I think due to the choking incident I have become overcautious.

I will just reply back and thank her for the considerations and action suggested, along with slicing their fruit which I have concerns about thinly!!

I think the nursery teacher is right. They need to learn how to manage bites. Cucumber and banana are choking hazards too - anything bite size is if not swallowed carefully.

I'm not dismissing your concerns because yes some foods are higher risk for choking than others, however any child can choke on any food so what will happen if you ban all these foods being served at nursery and then your child chokes on something else? Of course for God's sake let's hope they dont but what I'm saying is you cannot stop all possible hazards in your child's life, and trying to control the environments outside of your own personal care of them is just going to make your anxieties worse as you are using avoidance behaviour.

A 3 year old should have eaten an apple slice by their age and not grated. You are wrapping dc in cotton wool I'm afraid and I'm not judging that because Id love to wrap mine also (and forever too) but we have to be sensible parents here and realise what we're doing.

I want to add my son choked on a soft crisp (wotsit) aged 2 and you'd reckon that's a safe food eh? He slipped wearing socks on carpet, lightly bumped his head but already had the crisp in his mouth and then threw his head back and cried, said crisp slipped into his throat and he began to choke until I whacked the poor child many times and it flew out.

I understand your anxiety, I really worry about it but you cannot stop your children from eating very normal foods, surely that will increase their risk of choking when they're introduced as they won't be used to them?

Choking is scary but they could choke on anything. Does everything have to be soft or can they have toast, potato, carrots, pasta etc?

Honestly now is the best time to learn.

Reception kids get given an entire Apple at our school

Grated apple at 3?? My 8 month old only has two teeth and he manages non-grated fruit and veg!

My 2.5 year old has been eating whole apples, pears and plums etc since the age of 1. He choked once and it was horrible but i still give him them. He sits to eat.

To add, I'm a nursery teacher and we give whole pieces of fruit at snack time but the children are supervised.

I'm guessing you never did baby led weaning OP?

If the food is thinly cut then it shouldn't be a choke risk.

You do sound very anxious, but I can understand why given a choking incident.

As long as they are sitting and supervised, I would be happy about the risk.

I can actually understand the anxiety after a choking incident, DD choked as a baby and we had to call an ambulance as we couldn't dislodge it. They must have already been nearby as they were there within a minute and we managed to get the item up and out right before they arrived but it was the scariest moment of my life as I genuinely thought she was going to die. She had to go to hospital to be checked over and stay a few hours for observation and I cried with relief on the paramedic's shoulder the whole way there!

Yes I did, but once one DC had the choking incident I stopped giving apple, pear and grapes in small pieces and only gave them grated.

@HildaZelda Yes I did, but once one DC had the choking incident I stopped giving apple, pear and grapes in small pieces and only gave them grated.

Well done, OP. Anxieties are normal, but we cannot isolate our children from all risk.

Rather than preventing your child from having these foods, you would do better to teach them how to eat them safely. The preschool will be offering suitable shapes/cuts and so teach your children to bite small and manageable mouthfuls/sit upright etc. It’s not foolproof but it does decrease the risk.

Children and adults can choke on anything at any age. However, you have allow children to try a range of foods. The risk is never going to be zero, as with all aspects of life. The nursery teacher's suggestion sounds very sensible, IMO- I think you should follow it.

I'm not sure this is up to date, but I was advised to give whole apples, or halves with core removed? as they have such tiny teeth they bite manageable chunks, whereas if we gauge what is an appropriate size it's often not right? I understand your concerns, and would absolutely be cautious about whole grapes, tomatoes, marshmallows and lumps of mozzarella, but I think it's worth trying to expand their eating repertoire, or you'll end up with them worrying about eating loads. I'm sure they've noted your concerns and will monitor.

Children need to eat hard and crunchy foods to build up their tooth and jaw strength. I work with kids and did some training a few years ago, apparently children have weak jaw bones now as parents feed them like tiny babies for years!

I do sympathise with your concerns - we also had a choking incident with one of my DC when he was at a day nursery with apples, fortunately the staff managed to dislodge the piece of apple with some firm slaps to the back (and then they kept apologising about having bruised him! Like we cared about a few bruises given the alternative outcome!)

But... they’re going to come across these foods sooner or later. If not now, at school nursery, then when they’re older children, teens, or adults. They need to learn how to eat them safely, and a nursery environment, where meals and snacks are supervised closely, is a good one for them to learn in.