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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry about my baby

11 replies

Firsttimemum892 · 10/09/2018 18:02

I don’t really know what I am worried about but something doesn’t seem right with my baby. She’s always been abit fussy and grumpy , always the one crying at the baby class etc and I mean always the one ! She can be very smiley and giggly with myself and my partner and will smile for people she knows but when I take her out she will not smile at a stranger regardless of their many many attempts to make her smile , she just doesn’t seem interested in people. I know I shouldn’t compare but I have 4 friends who have had babies within 2-3 months either side of her when we are around these babies I am noticing more and more how withdrawn she seems compared to them , she also will not respond to her name even though we have been actively trying to get her to do this for months. Am I being unreasonable to worry about her social interaction at just shy of 9 months ?

OP posts:
ConsiderHerWaysAndOthers · 10/09/2018 18:09

Before a year I think you get more out of any baby class than they do, a lot of babies find them overstimulating. And around that age they often start to get a lot more wary around strangers so I wouldn’t worry that she doesn’t smile at people she doesn’t know. As for her not responding to her name, that was on our 9 month checklist at DD’s doctor’s visit (we’re not in the UK so she sees the paediatrician a lot) so perhaps mention it to the health visitor or doctor?

Fishandthechips · 10/09/2018 18:25

Your baby sounds identical to how my son was at that age (and for a good while longer if im honest). He would not smile at strangers, was always grumpy and wasnt really interested in much at all. Hes 2 and a half now and the most social child. He loves talking to people and playing with other children. I was incredibly worried at the time but I think some children just dont like being babies and thrive when there able to do more. I really wouldnt worry about your baby yet. Easier said than done though i know.

Original poster
Firsttimemum892 · 10/09/2018 18:35

Thanks for your responses that has really put my mind at ease , I will mention it at the 9 month check but it’s really nice to hear other babies were like her and turned out to be social little things :)

OP posts:
Jamhandprints · 10/09/2018 18:35

My son didn't recognise his name until he started at a childminder and was hearing it and other peoples names a lot. Like "Abby's cup, Sindy's cup, Jam's cup". He was nearly one. He's fine now (age 6).
See how she goes with her speech in the next year, but she may just be shy. It's definitely too early to worry. All babies are differeng.

Louiselouie0890 · 10/09/2018 18:54

Is her hearing OK?

TheGateauIsInTheChateau · 10/09/2018 19:03

Yeah my nephew growled at some nice old lady when she stopped to coo at him. Am sure your little girl is fine

agnurse · 10/09/2018 19:43

Children can have different temperaments and this can affect their ability to adapt, especially around strangers.

I wouldn't be worried about it at this point, personally.

Booboostwo · 10/09/2018 20:56

At 9mo my DD had just about managed to tolerate being in DH’s arms rather than being superglued to mine. Just about that time she managed to deal with me leaving the room for a few seconds without howling. An elderly lady leant over to touch her face and DD screamed so loudly the woman lost her balance and nearly fell backwards (she called DD a devil child, and advised me to keep her away from people!!!)

....she’s a lovely 7yo now.

Poodletip · 10/09/2018 21:56

I wouldn't say there's definitely anything going on but I would say listen to your instincts. I don't think you need do anything specific right now but just keep an eye on things. It might be worth keeping notes of the things you notice.

Twinning1 · 10/09/2018 22:10

Agree to get it checked with a health visitor. This sounds just like my son. I was always the one at back of baby classes getting him to stop screaming, whilst my Nct group chatted with their happy babies. I always left things early and sadly I sometimes just didn’t bother. It got a bit worse as he got bigger. He started refusing to go into these classes, and would just tantrum. It was like he hated noisy or overstimulating places. He was terribly shy too. HOWEVER, he’s 4 on Wednesday and he is so sociable now, loves a party, loves soft play... loves hanging out with new kids, loves nursery. He’s got so much confidence now. Says hi to random workers at the supermarket and now he is the one making the noise! The only thing we have not been able to crack is the cinema... took him to see Thomas movie and he refused, it was like he used to be at baby classes. But he’s 4 so still a bit young for cinema.

I also have 5 month twins and let me tell you, it’s so bloody easy to compare and come to a conclusion when they are both yours Grin one is very happy and would smile for anyone... one is very quiet, serious, spent first three months screaming, need to work hard for a smile. Every baby is different.

Pleasedontdrawonyoursister · 10/09/2018 22:39

Oh my daughter was bloody miserable up until she was about 18 months. Never giggled or smiled much at all. She’s 5 now and still hard work to be honest!! But she does laugh a lot more these days Wink

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