Mayonnaise

[MrsCipo]

I am putting together an online shop & asked DP if there was anything he can think of that we need. He said mayonnaise.

We have three lots of open mayonnaise in the fridge (2 x squeezy, 1 x jar [almost empty]) and one unopened in the cupboard (squeezy)

I said he can't have any more mayonnaise till we are down to at least 2

He said he prefers mayonnaise in a jar, therefore we need more

If we get more mayonnaise, he will open it BEFORE THE OTHERS ARE EMPTY and I may be pushed over the edge.

Who is BU?

But what is mayonnaise FOR? What do you all do with it? (Especially three different types worth)?

PlainVanilla in case you weren't joking, lots of reasons, but the main ones for me is that I hate having left over egg whites and don't generally cook with them and I don't like being reminded of how much fat is in mayo!

What is mayonnaise for?

It's to bathe everything it touches in unctuous deliciousness of course.

We see it as nothing more than basic human decency to keep an acceptable stock level of mayonnaise in (we NEVER abbreviate it to the vulgar 'mayo' - we are NOT animals).

To ensure that our guests are never mortally embarrassed and put in extreme discomfort by feeling forced to surrender their own personal habituations, our staff are under strict instructions to ensure that we always carry abundant supplies of the following in stock:

Mayonnaise - in both glass jars and squeezy bottles
Light Mayonnaise - in both glass jars and squeezy bottles
Lighter-Than-Light Mayonnaise - in both glass jars and squeezy bottles
Ultra-Low-Fat, Low-Calorie Mayonnaise - in both glass jars and squeezy bottles
Dolphin-Friendly Earth-kind Egg-Free Organic Mayonnaise Substitute

We have each of these options from six different brands (as even the most apparently respectable of individuals can prove surprisingly non-U and accidentally show their true colours when stranded at such a challenging crossroads and forced to do The Right Thing) but we naturally look pointedly askance at any guest opting for anything other than Hellmann's, as anybody would.

As for us and our immediate family, we personally would never lower ourselves to eating such a frightful 'stuff' as mayonnaise. For us, at our level of society, nothing but Daddies' Sauce could EVER do - if Brexit means that it is no longer freely available in this country, we would relocate offshore in a heartbeat.

"Why are you buying something that costs pennies to make yourself?

It costs more pennies to make it yourself than it does to buy it,

PlainVanillaI used to be able to make lovely mayonnaise, thick, creamy & unctuous. This was in the 80s.
Whenever I try now I just get unemulsified slop.
I use a hand blender in a beaker it just fits into.
I raise the blender s-l-o-w-l-y as instructed, result = unemulsified slop.
Where am I going wrong?
I have the same problem with bearnaise & hollandaise sauces.
I use free range non-supermarket fresh eggs.
Can anyone help?
Sorry for derailing the thread

Look at that. 10litres all in one marvellous bucket.

Appreciate i may have missed the point.

Ooh think of all the chips you could dip into that mayo!!

Obviously with some mayo decanted into a bowl, not dipping into that huge tub; we're not heathens...

I really think i should buy that bucket and just plonk it on the bloody table.

DS2 loves mayo!

susiella ....can you go back to basics, nice squeaky clean glass bowl, giant balloon whisk, room temp eggs and oil. Making mayonnaise really fascinates me... adding extra liquid and it just gets thicker and thicker...like magic! If you have a small child helper to either clutch the bowl or drip in the oil it makes your life a bit easier.

@Lilymoose

I wish I could have mayo in a jar but certain people leave crumbs/tuna/bits in it 😫

This! DH also leaves crumbs in the butter.....