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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU and treating dog like a baby?

35 replies

Cath2907 · 10/09/2018 13:58

My DH has accused me of being ridiculous and treating our dog like a baby. He is a 9 month old Bichon pup. He sleeps in the kitchen, eats out of a bowl on the floor, isn't fed at the table, he sits in the foot-well of the car when we are out. He gets two good walks a day and an evening 5 minute trip up the road for a pee. He normally sleeps on the floor in the office whilst I am working during the day. We take him out with us on the weekend for walks or to pubs that are dog friendly or to family houses.
He won't eat dog food so I make up a batch of home made stuff every few days but it doesn't take 10 mins and I cook for the rest of the family. He does sit on the sofa or chairs sometimes.

I feed him and walk him.

I don't think I treat him like a baby - I treat him like a dog. Am I mad? Isn't this normal for people who own dogs? DH wanted a dog and as he grew up with one I assumed he knew what owning a dog was like and we did discuss it before hand and he agreed the dog would need walking and that we'd have to do dog friendly weekend activities. Yes we can't go out on our own all day on the weekend and leave the dog home alone.... that is what being a dog owner is all about. We do leave him in the car (weather permitting) or home alone for 2 - 3 hours if we need to do something not dog friendly but we now own a dog and we can't put him in stasis on a Sunday because DH suddenly wants to spend 9 - 5 at the zoo. I can get family to look after him for the day if needed but that needs pre-organising.

This all kicked off because I booked a dog sitter for the dog for my sisters wedding next March. We want to go to the weeding for the day and stay overnight and so I booked a lady to come and house sit and look after the dog.

DH wants him to go to kennels. I don't think he'd like it so I booked a pet sitter. I am paying for it!

Am I being unreasonable here?

OP posts:
Pissedoffdotcom · 10/09/2018 14:00

Nope YANBU. My folks have dogs at 11 that have never stayed a day in kennels. Always sitter or home boarder. They are most definitely treated like dogs!

If a dog isnt used to a kennel environment it can be stressful for them. If you can find an alternative why wouldn't you? Tell him he's being a bellend

SleepingStandingUp · 10/09/2018 14:01

We DH's idea of kennels is fine, perhaps he's uncomfortable having a stranger sleeping in his house. Make sure she comes highly recommended as they won't all abide by your wishes...

However I'd challenge him on what other ways you baby the dog. If it's general not leaving him home alone for 12 hours etc then he's ridiculous. If it's carrying him around in your arms and calling him your baby waby coochie coo I see his point

ThreeAnkleBiters · 10/09/2018 14:01

YANBU. That's just what you have to do if you choose to get a dog.

Huskylover1 · 10/09/2018 14:02

Your DH is being unreasonable.

I actually look after dogs, in my home, for dog owners who don't like kennels. I am always busy : there are thousands of people who won't use kennels.

The only thing I will say, is that you are probably paying way over what you need to, by getting a woman to come and dog sit in your home. What are you paying?

AssassinatedBeauty · 10/09/2018 14:02

You're not treating the dog like a baby, but maybe the reality of owning a dog isn't what your DH imagined?

Kennels would be absolutely fine though, presumably a dog sitter is much more expensive? Is that his issue do you think?

Disfordarkchocolate · 10/09/2018 14:03

Not unreasonable at all. We don't allow the dog on the furniture or cook our own dog food but the rest is what we did when he was younger (now too old for days out). Lots more people are using dog sitters instead of kennels, we don't but I don't find it odd.

MrsMozart · 10/09/2018 14:04

1 - awk him in what way 'baby'; and

2 - get a dog walker so you can have full days out sans dog.

Ginorchoc · 10/09/2018 14:06

Our dog goes to a lovely family who board dogs in their home, she gets very excited when she gets there. I don’t like kennels I find them noisy and chaotic but I wouldn’t like someone staying in my home, is that the issue? Otherwise it’s just normal dog care your doing.

Aprilshowersnowastorm · 10/09/2018 14:06

All sounds fine but ddogs need to be secured in a car by law.
Ddogs have got seat belts in ours!!

Medea13 · 10/09/2018 14:08

he sits in the foot-well of the car

Not safe or legal OP.

Original poster
Cath2907 · 10/09/2018 14:10

Definitely no carrying the dog round going coochy coo. I do stroke him and he does sit next to me and waggle his legs in the air to get a tummy rub but he does same to DH and I've caught him out stroking the dog and talking to him when he doesn't know I can see him.

OP posts:
agedknees · 10/09/2018 14:11

Ddog does need to be secured in a car - it’s a legal requirement.

Batch cooking - is he getting all the vitamins and nutrients he needs? Have you tried him with a good dog food like forthglade wet dog food.

Yanbu. You are treating him as he should be treated, as a very loved pet.

Original poster
Cath2907 · 10/09/2018 14:11

I thought dog had to be restrained in car? He is - he wears a harness that is clipped to a purpose bought dog clippy thing that plugs into the seatbelt. He then sits in the rear footwell. He is restrained but gets car sick if sat on a seat so I give him enough slack to sit on the floor.

OP posts:
Yogagirl123 · 10/09/2018 14:12

YANBU you sound a very responsible dog owner. We had our lovely dog from a pup until he had to be PTS at 13, he never went into kennel either, I know he would have hated it.

I agree it’s what owning a dog is all about, do you think your DH may be jealous of the attention you give to the dog?

There must be a suitable compromise, if DH doesn’t want a pet sitter in your home, perhaps a pet sitter in their own home providing 1to1 may be worth considering.

I hope you get it sorted out OP.

Original poster
Cath2907 · 10/09/2018 14:14

I have tried 5 different brands of high quality dog food in both wet and dry. All grain free and all supposedly delicious! I even tried raw freeze dried. DH won't permit raw raw as he says it is unhygenic.

I did google quite extensively on dog cooking and use both muscle meat and offal and supplements to tray and make sure it is balanced.

OP posts:
Gottagetmoving · 10/09/2018 14:17

People who treat dogs like babies get on my bloody nerves....but it doesn't sound like you treat yours like a baby at all.
Sounds normal and reasonable to me.
Our dog used to go into kennels when we went away but I think he would have been happier being looked after at home. Wish had thought about that when we had him.

agedknees · 10/09/2018 14:18

If he’s restrained in the car he’s fine.

EthelHornsby · 10/09/2018 14:20

Presumably you buy and store raw meat for yourself/dh? Why is it unhygienic if it’s properly stored? I buy frozen for my cats and defrost before feeding. And why is it up to him?

Huskylover1 · 10/09/2018 14:20

What are you paying the house sitter?

waxy1 · 10/09/2018 14:21

What country are you in, OP?

Highway Code rule 57 isn’t a law.

“Rule 57
When in a vehicle make sure dogs or other animals are suitably restrained so they cannot distract you while you are driving or injure you, or themselves, if you stop quickly. A seat belt harness, pet carrier, dog cage or dog guard are ways of restraining animals in cars.”

Pissedoffdotcom · 10/09/2018 14:21

Unhygienic?? Is he veggie? You feed it the same way you feed other food...and you store it the same way you store people raw food 🤔

TemptressofWaikiki · 10/09/2018 14:21

There are a lot of horror stories of dog kennels and many dogs do really get traumatised by this. A dog sitter with good references is a good alternative. If anything, I make more of a fuss over my 4 greyhounds, as they had a rough start. What is the point of getting a much loved pet if you don't do the best you can for it!

Loubilou09 · 10/09/2018 14:22

Cath I feed raw Natures Menu - nothing unhygienic about it at all. The food comes in ready made cubes that you take out the day before you want to use and defrost before you need it. I have two tupperware pots, one for each dog and they sit in the fridge sealed tight and I just take out half in the morning and leave the other half for the evening meal. Much easier than cooking your own!

Theweasleytwins · 10/09/2018 14:22

You dont refer to yourself as 'mummy' to the dog do you? Saying its your furbabyEnvy My mil does

You sound like a responsible and caring owner

Timeisslippingaway · 10/09/2018 14:26

I wouldn't put my dog in kennels. He got lost once chasing the smell of a bitch and ran into the community centre and they called environmental health who took him to kennels about 40 mins from where I live, when I got there about an hour later my poor wee dog was absolutely traumatised in a small cage in the back room. I nearly cried when I saw him. I know kennels aren't like this all the time but no way I would put him in kennels. I know he would hate it. I don't even take him to the groomers because he's traumatised after. He's been once, I groom him myself at home.

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