Aibu shouting at dh

[cactusplant]

I think I know I am.
Dh and I have supported each other so well so far but I'm so pissed off and angry today. I told him this a few times and he just sat looking at me so I asked him why he's so chill about everything and that it doesn't help me and told him to go away and leave me alone. He was a bit shocked so I shouted it at him twice until he went upstairs and left me.

Last week we had 12w scan. We declined nuchal testing but they told us anyway the measurements were very high and referred to feral medicine who pushed & pushed for an amniocentesis and possible termination.
It's so much to deal with and we've supported each other so well and got through it together so far but I've just snapped. I'm just pissed off today that it's unfair and having a bad day with it. He was really good last week but the last few days has barely spoken about it and I'm just so worried. He's not helping today and I've taken it all out on him :(

Losing your rag is quite understandable. You're in a particularly lonely, scary situation and it sounds like you feel quite ganged up on.

Your DH appears to be dealing with it, or maybe not dealing with it in his own way, which isn't particularly helpful to you.

I'm hoping someone comes along with knowledge of some impartial organisations who can talk you through what's happening and hand hold, whatever the outcome. 💐

I think you're both just dealing with it in your own way. You lost your rag once which is understandable, apologize and move on. If there's something you want your DH to do to help ask him.

Of course YABU for shouting at him. He is hurting too. But you know what to do. Apologise without excuses, mean it, and move on.

It may be understandable but doesn't mean it's reasonable. I was with my ex for 11 years and went through all sorts of shit. We never once shouted at each other.

As PP said, apologise without excuses (no, it's because I'm stressed or whatever), mean it, and move on.

I have apologised. I don't really want to be around him at the moment. I have to go through everything alone and he makes me feel like I don't deserve communication. I just want to be by myself