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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Falsely caling in sick?

48 replies

Rezie · 10/09/2018 13:00

I'm asking for a friend (for real). In general I am totally against calling in sick if you are not sick but this situation has me re-think.

My friend is having her last day in a few weeks. She has a temporary contract (no option of staying since the person who was off is coming back) and managed to get a new one starting a week before her existing contract ends, but she had unused annual leave so she is able to start earlier (start date could not be negotiated). All great news and going smoothly.

The problem: her partners grandfather passed away and she would like to attend the funeral. They have met several times and she would like to be there for her partner and his family. In order to make it she needs to leave work 3h earlier on her last day (office job, no clients). The boss said no. She offered to work longer days but that was not ok nor was taking unpaid time off. Only solution according to the boss is that she uses her annual leave. But she needs the annual leave to start the new job.

So now she is contemplating calling in sick so she could make it to the funeral. The odds are that boss figures out that she is not actually sick. She just feels like she needs to be there for her partner and his family. She is not the type to call in sick unless she actually is. What would be the concequences of calling in sick when the boss knows you are not? It's her last day so they can't really fire her, but are there some ramifications if she does this?

OP posts:

KatieMarieJ · 10/09/2018 13:57

The only thing I would be cautious about is whether she is working on this and the next contract through the same agency? It might not be a good move if she is as effectively she will be upsetting her employer (assuming she is paid via the agency) who may then discover the next contract doesn't need her anymore. Be careful.

LostInShoebiz · 10/09/2018 14:07

I’m sorry, but “grandboss”.

Original poster

Rezie · 10/09/2018 14:12

@LostInShoebiz I just prefere that over boss's boss

great suggestions here. I will look some of them up and inform my firend to see if they are possible.

OP posts:

AynRandTheObjectivist · 10/09/2018 14:18

If she doesn't need a reference then she can do what she likes. I don't think many places allow compassionate leave for partner's grandparent, though.

amusedbush · 10/09/2018 14:24

My DH's granny passed away last year and I couldn't get the time off for it - why would I? Husband's grandparent is hardly a close relative.

I personally wouldn't call in sick because it will be painfully obvious what she is doing and may affect getting a reference in the future.

GlossyGlossy · 10/09/2018 14:25

I think in her circumstances I would tell them I was unable to work for the afternoon and be honest about why. That way if she ever needs a reference from them, there is at least no dishonesty involved.

HonestReally · 10/09/2018 14:38

Bit controversial but I think I’d not go to the funeral. I’d send flowers and a card and I’d arrange to meet up with the boyfriend later.

I definitely wouldn’t call in sick. That’s definitely not ok. I’d try asking for unpaid leave but if that was refused then I’d go in to work.

StealthPolarBear · 10/09/2018 14:40

She can't start a new job on annual leave, surely?

mrs2468 · 10/09/2018 14:45

I just don't understand why she doesn't just leave a day early

diddl · 10/09/2018 14:52

Is there any way that she could use a day's less annual leave & so use it for the funeral?

But Idk-partner's gf's funeral?

Will there not be enough support for him without her?

Original poster

Rezie · 10/09/2018 14:58

@StealthPolarBear sure you can. many people work two jobs.

@mrs2468 if you leave without completing your notice period they can bring legal action. It's rare for non-executive positions cause it's not worth the hastle. Also I do think that my friend would like to be paid till the end of her contract since she didn't get to use her annual leave. But I will present this option to her.

She doesn't need the reference from the boss. She doesn't trust her so that's not a problem. The bigger problem is that she needs to be in good terms with the company. This branch is not something she wants to be in ever again and has other references from other people in the company. She wants to cause minimal damage to the company and herself. While the funeral is obviously optional but she feels like it's where she wants to be. Also she feels like otehrwise she let's them win in a weird way.

@amusedbush I get that partners grandparent is not a close relative and employer has a right to say no. For me it is about nto having a reason to say no. There is no reason why she needs to be in the office that afternoon and why she can't work the hours beforehand. Based n the stories about the boss I feel like the only reason is beacuse she can say so. If it was a busy time or something I would be a lot more understanding.

OP posts:

subspace · 10/09/2018 15:01

Does she/will she need the reference?

I've been in similar situations, and I've both sucked it up and called in sick at different times.

Boss is being a dick.

For the sake of three hours, can she call new job, explain situation and ask to start half a day later, or do a morning only on her first day so she can go back and do the darn three hours?

Original poster

Rezie · 10/09/2018 15:04

@diddl It's always uncomfortable to aska day off from new work to go work at the old place. But I'm sure she thought about it. Yes, everyone totally understands if she can't make it and the partner will be just fine. But I can also understand wanting to be there. It is one of those things you do with your partner. Especially if not agreeing with the boss's logic in saying no and I can also undertand the feeling of not wanting to give in to the boss.

OP posts:

mrs2468 · 10/09/2018 15:06

Is her notice period a month for a temp job? I would still just finish employment a day or half a day early. She will have give them required notice just that it's 12 noon and not 5pm. I really doubt that anyone would seek legal action for 3 hours or a day wouldn't be cost effective.

Original poster

Rezie · 10/09/2018 15:13

@mrs2468 I think her notice period is 8 weeks. i doubt there would be legal action. She is not that important :D. I think she would like to get paid or the annual leave week that she is taking to start the new job and she does not want to be written up since she wil veryvery likely need the company. not that boss or branch but the company. Calling in sick is hard to prove or you can easily get a note so they can't really write that up without coming across badly. but I can let her know of this option.

OP posts:

mrs2468 · 10/09/2018 15:21

What a shame 8 weeks for a temp job. The manager is being unreasonable I manage a lot of people and at the end of the day she's leaving so what's three hours going to make. Sounds like the manager is just doing it cause she can not cause she needs too other wise there would be a valid reason eg customers won't get serviced or calls answered

inTheBoredroom · 10/09/2018 15:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Soontobe60 · 10/09/2018 15:49

I'm confused. You said she's finishing in a 'few weeks' and the funeral is on her last day. Why is the funeral so long away?

hannnnnnnxo · 10/09/2018 15:59

The boss will definitely know that she’s not sick, especially now that’s shes already asked both them and their superior already.

In her situation, I would probably just leave work early. It’s unprofessional but it’s her last day, she has another job so the reference isn’t that big of an issue. Otherwise she’ll have to stay at work

Kemer2018 · 10/09/2018 16:00

I would say I won't be in on the afternoon of xxxx due to a family bereavement and funeral. I would request unpaid leave.
I've had this issue and my boss was hideous. It was for my grandads funeral and my boss said "i don't give a fuck, you're not taking it off". I advised him that I would be taking it off unpaid. He was furious but I remained firm. I left the job a month later, he was such a pig.

LostInShoebiz · 10/09/2018 16:10

Depending on availability where you live, funerals can take a few weeks to take place. The longest I’ve seen is 8 weeks.

Original poster

Rezie · 10/09/2018 16:12

@Soontobe60 I wanted to write down something general since I don't want to put down specific times and I'm not sure it is necessary for the situation at hand. I don't know the specifics in this case, but in general it takes a while with the coroners, autopsy, organising, having the chapel for the right religion, the queue if it was poplar time at the morgue, cremations etc. so I guess those could be reasons why its a "long way" which I'm not sure it even is that long.

OP posts:

PhilomenaButterfly · 10/09/2018 16:41

Wow. My boss years ago said I could go home when my then boyfriend turned up at my work to tell me that his dad had died. He hadn't seen him for years and I hadn't met him, my boyfriend said he didn't need me, so I declined. I can't believe your friend was refused leave.

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