AIBU to not be sure how to navigate dating?

[LilianL]

I mean in terms of dating a few at a time etc.?

Do the rest of you just date one and see how that goes before dating another, or do you date simultaneously?

I think I'm confusing myself by dating simultaneously. I end up not really knowing how I feel about any one of them and sort of the sum of them adds up to something complete......??????????

Hope that makes sense if any of you are dating at the moment.

And I'm sure there is a dating subject but I couldn't find it. Everything seems to be in AIBU. Sorry to intrude!

Are you going apply dating a few?

Is your goal to find the one to marry?

Are you looking to have children?

Or are you free and easy and just want some fun company?

Think about what you want and go from there

Oh god, modern dating is the biggest nightmare on earth. On the few occasions I’ve started to feel optimistic about a guy, deleted the dating apps and decided to make a proper go of things with just this one, it goes utterly tits up. So I would recommend keeping your options open. However, I do then find it difficult to keep them all straight in my head- remembering who you’ve talked to about what etc. I’m as lost as you, basically!

I’m sure when I was younger it was the norm to only date one person at a time, even in the early stages.

These days the opposite is true and everyone seems to keep their options open by seeing numerous people and remaining on dating apps!

If I ended up single again, I think I’d stay that way. I have a couple of friends who are dating, non exclusively, and frankly everyone they’ve met on dating apps sound like absolute scum balls

It's been over 17 years since I last went on a date but I just dated 'normally' (or what I considered to be 'normally' anyway).

By that I mean I'd meet a bloke (probably through a circle of friends), get to know him and then go on a date if we fancied each other.

It never occurred to me to do with with more than one man at a time, but that's probably cos I don't think I fancied that many.

Oh wait a minute, is this about online dating?

Hee hee Lihrun, you sound exactly like me.
I'm 40, have a child, never been married and not terribly interested in marriage at this late stage. Think I might have missed the boat on that one!
Yes, I was at a forum about the website I use (Happn) and I was just struck that most of them seemed to date one and then move on, whereas I date them all at once lol. Wasn't sure whether it's the done thing or not!

I think it's very individual. I meet very few people and am highly selective, meeting one at a time and seeing how it goes. I've had several relationships from this method which have ended for other reasons other than them being awful if you see what i mean. Other people date lots of people at the same time then 'go exclusive' with someone when the time is right. I don't have the time or emotional energy for that. Hope it all goes well .

Yes, online dating.

Ahh that's a different kettle of fish then by the sound of it.

Always sounds a bit like supermarket shopping to me, compared to 'old fashioned' dating

Yes, it's a bit unusual Worra. Well for an old goat like me it is. I just wonder whether I should date consecutively rather than concurrently. For my sanity really lol.

I guess the other side of it is for e.g. one guy I'm in contact with (haven't met yet) is going through a divorce, so doesn't feel/want to commit even if we did meet and get on. But I'm dating another guy, who adores me, but I'm not massively attracted to. So... in my head, both of them are combined together to meet my needs lol. Does that make sense?

I.E.
Lovely, generous, chatty, complimentary guy = that
Attractive, tall, unavailable man = that

Combined, it's like my brain thinks they're one lol.

God, I sound nuts!

Put it this way, if I dumped one I'd dump the other one too as neither of them are the entire package I want....? Confusing anyone other than myself yet?