To wonder how DH can love me if he hates my parents?

[SoCockneyItHurts]

Just that really. DH hates my parents who I love dearly. Last night he asked me "has anyone ever told you you're just like your dad?" meaning "loud and obnoxious". I replied with the fact that I'm a product of them both so I'm obviously going to have some traits right? I was only talking about an X Factor contestant!

I love my Dp and his sister is my best friend and I love her too. I hate dps step mum (my best friends bio mum).

Dp does have some traits he picked up from his step mum. She brought him up from 18 months and he has only ever met his real mum, once since she left. I don't know his dad as he died 12 years before I met DP.

While Dp does remind me of his step mum on occassion, he also doesn't think it's ok to feed my son food that he is allergic to, or slap my son, or remind my son that his dad walked away or think it's acceptable to expose my son to someone who he knows sexually abuses children. His step mother did all these things to her step children.

So yes, I can hate her and love dp.

That's why I used the word 'if' worra

Depends why he hates them. If they’ve treated him like shit then YABU not to accept that. If they’ve been kind and are just annoying then YANBU to expect him to try harder.

Utterly bizarre question. Does that mean the child of murderers, say Fred and Rose West for example, is unlovable?

OP this is not the whole story is it?

Is your DH using being horrible to your parents to get at you? Do you mean if someone deliberately makes you feel bad, can they really love you?

Answer is no.

Of course it’s possible.

I don’t have my in laws at all but I have little in common with so struggle a bit for things to to say or do with them and sometimes find understanding why they are like they are hard. My partner shares some traits with them and obviously I feel completely differently about him.

People are generally shortsighted. They don't see that DP is like his /her parents because we are all a product of our generation so we will have loads in common with a partner and a lot of shared experiences and values - which we won't with our DP's Parents. We are also less tolerant of other generations at the moment and there is less respect for older people than there has been for a while.

I fucking hate my dh parents they are rascit twants

Also snobs

Oh and abusive partner separating their victim from their family is straight out of the abusers handbook.

My DH has some traits that are v MIL - he can be overly precise and anal just like her. She is annoying as fuck but he is great 99% of the time.

1981fishgut they sound delightful. Have you got any stories to regale us with?

I love DH, he's amazing.

My inlaws are spectacularly horrible. My SIL is a nasty, cruel bitch, we haven't had anything to do with her for years. MIL is so self absorbed, I've never met anyone like it. BIL hasn't bothered with us for years, ever since we didn't dance to SIL's tune, so no loss there.

How DH came from these people I don't know.

Op, I have a feeling there's a lot of I formation you're leaving out. As I see it, the options are your husband is an unreasonable, judgemental prick, OR he has a good reason as to why he doesn't like your parents. So which is it?