To cool friendship due to affair?

[sarah459]

Il try and make this as short as possible ..
My best friend started an affair with her friends husband (they have 3 kids together)
Then her friend found out and it all kicked off ..ended up her affair partner ditched my friend and turned nasty on her saying it caused too much trouble.
Everyone knew locally what happened and the wife was threatening her and she was getting abuse on street ..
She started taking anti depressants
Fast forward 7 months this man rang her and asked her to go to his place (not with wife anymore ) within 10 mins she slept with him ..
She's telling me she has no feelings for him,yet when he texts her etc she jumps at the chance and is basically seeing him again.
She said he sent her a naked pic of one of his friends asking for a threesome ..I said that proves he has zero respect for you.

Do I cool this friendship? As I can't keep telling her he is using her..she got herself ok again and now she's seeing him again after how bad he treats Her.
What would you do?

Depends how much you like your friend. If it was a good friend of mine I would be saying I don't want to hear about your bit on the side because I think he is a cheat and a user and you are going to get hurt and so please don't mention him in my company but then you can still be there for her when it goes tits up. She will need a friend.

What would I do? Nothing if I'm honest. My friends' sex lives are their own business and I'd like to think our friendship has more things in common than who we sleep with.

If however your friend only talks about being used by this man, and has no other conversation, then I'd point that out to them and change the subject. If you find after some time that there isn't much in common anymore, then let the friendship wane.

Every time we are together she has her head in her phone constantly ..she doesn't listen to anything I say.
I spent weeks going to hers making sure she was eating ,taking medication and now he is back on the scene ..heartbreak again.

No reason to cool friendship unless you really don't like her any more. She is really stupid by the sound of it (and her (part time) man is horrible), but it's amazing how many quite reasonable women go through phases like this if they are hung up on a man.

I sincerely hope your friend does not conceive a child and gets over this before long.

How can you have any respect for or trust someone who would sleep with the husband of someone she called a friend?! She's made her bed, let her lie in it.

I couldn't trust her - she slept with her friend's partner. She may do the same to you.
Sadly she's in a fog and obsessed with him.
I'd be telling her to jog on. She's treated her friend terribly.

You can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves.

Honestly, I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who behaved in that way, but you've tried to save her from herself and she's still acting like an idiot. I'd move on.

Depends how much of a good friend she is. I've ditched a friend for an affair, but I didn't really like her enough. I have another good friend who had an affair, I haven't ditched her as I value her friendship and her relationships have got bugger all to do with me.

I struggle to understand what attractive qualities he actually has.

Hmm I choose my friends because I respect them and we share the same moral values. I don’t think I could respect someone who had an affair with their friend’s husband. I make no apology for that.

I choose my friends because I respect them and we share the same moral values. I don’t think I could respect someone who had an affair with their friend’s husband.

^ I agree with this. Especially as it doesn't sound like she thinks she's done anything wrong.