To be jealous? ( lighthearted ish )

[Oobis]

I am happily married to a wonderful, hardworking man. We have 3 kids. Often, DH is up and out before kids are up, and back after bedtime. I'm mostly alone as SAHM of 3. I'm the purchasing manager, the catering manager, the logistics manager, the tantrum manager and bedtime manager. But rarely the fun parent, who kicks a ball, plays on the trampoline or merely pulls silly faces. Because I don't have time for that. It's teatime, or bedtime, or bath time, or time to tidy up, cook or put washing on. I want to be fun!!!! Please don't bash my hard working DH. But how do I feature in my kids' "fun" memories?

Get them involved in the stuff you have to do. Let them ‘help’ with cooking now and then (and dont stress about the mess they make).

I used to dance to the music in the supermarket when my dc were small. I don't know that they thought it was fun exactly, but they still haven't forgotten. (Adults now).

No advice but good question/thought 'how to be in my children's fun memories'

You can pull silly faces while doing chores! Honestly when I'm doing housework I just put the radio on, dance around the house while pulling faces and dance. It does take longer to get stuff done but my daughter helps and has a giggle at the same time.

Housework and washing can be done after bedtime, there's no reason why he can't help out with snall bits and pieces that would free up a little play time for you. I also cut down on housework. I don't get too worked up about things being spotless
There's more to life than housework

Is your DH around at the weekends? If so, put him in charge of laundry, tidying up and meals (at least some of them anyway) so you get time to be the fun one.

I bet you play with them and read them bedtime stories? Maybe put some of the other jobs on hold, choose easier meals, allow the house to be cleaned a little bit less frequently and enjoy your time with them. Oh and only iron if absolutely necessary.

When he is there make sure you do things both as a family and individually with the children. He can cook a meal at the weekends surely?

My dad was the fun parent. He just had a laugh with us while doing the day to day things. Sing a silly song or make up a story in the car on the way to the dump sort of thing.

My dad was always the fun parent. But it's my mum that I am much closer to as she was there for me day in, day out.

I'm all that too OP and I still manage to have boogie half hour where the coffee table is moved and tunes are full blast.

DD helps me cook too last night she chopped the mushrooms with a blunt knife then popped them in the bolognese. It doesn't have to be all boring chores.

Have a carpet picnic in the front room with party rings and cake.

Meh, as a full time working widowed parent I've given up on this. My kids will remember I provided for them, kept a roof over their heads, kept them clean, organised trips, holidays etc and was there for them.

Silly faces or making housework take longer by dancing can jog on. My kids know who has got their backs. They can and do have with their friends, I'm at peace with my role in their lives.

Make the pets "talk" in high pitched silly voices. I do this and the kids roll around laughing as I have ridiculous mundane conversations.

"What have you been doing today Tibbles?"
"NUFFIN MUCH" etc

I don’t think anyone really has 2 fun parents, and I don’t think fun memories are that specific (who is going to remember someone dancing whilst doing housework?) but I agree DH should do half the house hold crap at the weekends so you can have quality time with the children too

My dad was the fun parent but as an oldie and parent myself now I have realised how much my mum did. I think in retrospect they should have been more equal. For mum's sake really, she just did all the crappy stuff and dad brought home the bacon.

Some of my most precious childhood memories are pretty mundane to be honest.

I always remember when we walked home from school and it had been pouring with rain. We'd rush inside and strip our soaked woolly tights off while my mum got us warm trousers and socks. Then we would have a bowl of tomato soup and a warm roll. The warm rolls have become something almost mystical in my memory but they were just cheap supermarket finger rolls that she heated up in the oven.

You deserve to have fun so definitely follow the advice on how to make more time for that. But you don't have to do anything particularly exciting to feature in your children's memories. You're special to them just because you're their mum.

I don't think anyone has two fun parents either, and I don't think it's important. As long as children feel loved and cared for that's what matters.

Playing bored me crapless. My husband did the park and playing monopoly kind of things. I did the more typical parenting, was the disciplinarian, the organiser.

We are both incredibly close to our daughter who is now 21. I text her multiple times daily and she me. She loves her father and when at home will cuddle up on the sofa with him and is more tactile with him than me, whilst it's me she phones for advice or a chat.

As far as I'm concerned she got the best of both worlds. Simoly we are different people.

She does however remember the little spontaneous things I did. Like one Christmas when she was about four standing her on the coffee table and boogying with her to Christmas songs.

She finds it rather endearing that we both had our roles. As said, love, attention, care. That's what matters. Don't stress about being the fun one.