To write to the head teacher about this?

[newreality]

DD has ASD diagnosis, well known to school - mainly anxiety and social issues, though most of the time she copes very well and has a lovely best friend who supports her. On Friday her class were asked to write a letter about themselves to their new Y6 teacher. Teacher then read out a small part of DD's letter (according to DD, they weren't told she would do this before writing) about her dream of where she'd like to live in future - cottage in the woods - and the class laughed at this. DD was very upset when telling me, saying that people had laughed at her and that nobody understands her/she doesn't fit in. Best friend was out of the room at the time. Teacher didn't read out anyone else's letters but apparently also revealed that a boy in the class had watched Frozen, saying 'oops, shouldn't I have said that?'; according to DD, the class also laughed at this and this boy looked embarrassed. Am I being unreasonable to feel that this teacher's behaviour was out of order? - she basically singled out a couple of children to make the others laugh at them (no idea why, other than to gain popularity with the rest of the class?) And particularly that she should have known better than to do this with a child with SEND? What would you do?

No I don’t think you should write to the headteacher- I think it is unfortunate your DD was upset but it certainly would not have been the intention of the teacher to single children out so others could laugh at them- that’s outrageous!

Have a word with the teacher in question- no need to involve HT

I wouldn't go to the head. Maybe just a quiet word to the teacher? Also to hear her view on it which might be quite different from the story you've heard. It's hard to know if you've not heard the tone/been there for the context.

I would definitely go in and talk to the teacher to find out what happened from her point of view. Either way the teacher needs to know that it upset DD so she can avoid it happening again. If you're not satisfied with the teacher's explanation at that point you could approach the headteacher. I doubt the teacher deliberately tried to humiliate DD (although if she did that's absolutely awful!) but it does sound like an ill advised idea given DD's known issues with anxiety.

That sounds really insensitive and unkind. I'm a teacher and would only ever read out a child's work as an example of good work to illustrate what I'm looking for. It almost sounds as if the new teacher is trying to ingratiate herself with the class by revealing details that were calculated to embarrass a couple of children.

I wouldn't go straight to the head teacher over this. Speak to the teacher first. If you're not happy with the response, the next person is probably the key stage leader/phase leader. If you still feel that the issue isn't being taken seriously then that would be the time to go to the head.

But naive marie, it does happen.

However I’d speak to the teacher in the first instance.

Bit not but sorry, phone changed that word for some reason

Agree with others speak to the teacher, if you are not satisfied with the response then head of key stage 2.

Agree with everyone else really. Letter to the head teacher is overkill, I'd have a word with actual teacher and explain your daughter is sensitive and ask her not to read out her work in class without checking with her.
Good luck

Maybe the teacher picked the interesting ones.....rather the ones that said "I want to be a footballer" or "a hairdresser" or "I have a dog"........and it hasn't landed as well as he/she thought.

I think you should contact the head, either haedteacher or head of year or similar. The reason I'm saying that is I have a dd with similar issues and it's hard enough for her with her peers without teachers seemingly adding to it. If something like that happened my dd would not be able to go back to the class at all. Might seem like an overreaction but I know it to be true. Is there a possibility the teacher didn't know about your dds ASN? I think if you bring it up to the school they can at least address it and ensure that all your dds teachers know what is and isn't acceptable.

Continually - I’m not naive, I’ve worked in many different schools for over 20 years and do not believe a teacher would deliberately try and upset a child with anxiety issues so no, I don’t think it does just happen - there’s probably more to it which is why op needs to speak to the teacher in question

I would be concerned about this tbh. Your DD's last teachers should have given some briefing to the new teacher on issues and sensitivities. Plus 'oops I shouldn't ' is immature and really poor role modelling. Reinforcing gender stereotypes by insinuating a boy watching Frozen (if I've understood that part correctly) is also alarming.

Marie0

There are unempathetic teachers just like there are nasty people in any other profession. They're a tiny minority but they do exist - even if you haven't met one. I'm not saying this is the case here, it may have just been a badly thought out plan - which is why everyone has said to approach the teacher and hear her take on it.

Thank you everyone. Cariadlet, that was my take too, having probed quite carefully with DD - if she'd been reading out other bits of DD's and/or various children's letters and people had just happened to laugh at DD's, would feel different.

But agree that speaking to the teacher first is probably a better way to go, thanks.

I'm with partystress, why embarrass a boy for watching frozen? I would have a stern chat with the teacher and let her know it shouldn't happen again.

Some teachers are just nasty.
Dd's English teacher in year 8 read out her essay as an example of bad work. Poor dd was so humiliated. There is no need for it.

Bit baffled by why the other children found the idea of living in a cottage in the woods funny. What strange children.

I must admit I can't see what is wrong about reading the bit about living in a cottage in the woods and why this is deemed to be deliberately trying to humiliate your DD. It's unfortunate the other children laughed and I would hope the teacher did something about that.

Was the teacher giving an example of a well written piece of work?

I can understand you talking to the teacher about reading extracts of DD's work to the class if this is something she hates, but struggling to see the problem with the actual thing she read.

Areyoumyhomewrecker yes DD has already said she doesn't want to go back to Y6 :( I'm probably overreacting too - but changes are hard enough for her and so I do feel there should have been a bit more care really. It's a small school and I'm 99% sure they will have shared ASD info as I talked to SENCO last term about Y6 potentially being tricky for her, though will check of course.

I’d very much like to live in a cottage in the woods - sounds like a wonderful thought -

That's why I always get children to read out their own work, or ask them if they mind me reading out what they've written. Not complicated. I always ask to be honest - lots of children are sensitive, particularly in a new class. The aim is to encourage a safe environment where they are all safe to try out work /answers even when wrong. Obviously some children need more security than others.

Definitely not OK by teacher, but there again not all teachers are as good as they should be, and some of the fab ones make mistakes from time to time.

Me too, Marie! :) Thanks everyone for all the advice, agree I need to hear the teacher's side. Just really tough not to be overprotective when they are so upset!

Unfortunately I’ve met many bullying teachers