Weddings

[AllTheShapes]

We have a small family. Relatives getting married, sent out invitations. We were told verbally that no children apart from those of B&G. Fair enough, their wedding etc.

We can't get babysitters easily for a range of reasons (we go out 1-2 times per year max), so verbally told them that we wouldn't be able to make it for this reason (certainly didn't put any pressure on to invite our kids). Followed this up with a generic "sorry we can't make it, have a great day etc" card.

Just found out from a relative who went to the wedding that there were 8-10 children there.

AIBU to feel a bit peeved?

If they didn't want us there they could have just not bothered inviting us, I think I'd have preferred that to being lied to. Or obviously it could've been a recent/last minute decision to invite the other children.

Never mind, I guess it's saved us the cost of travel/accommodation/drinks etc...

That must feel crappy. Is there any way you can see why others were there? Maybe some showed up with kids? People are cf

Relative who told us didn't know. Not sure if we'll get to see photos etc any time soon to drop it into conversation "oh, I thought the only kids would be...". But on the other hand I'm not sure I can be bothered.

Just a bit disappointed I guess. Especially as it's a small family. And my kids are pretty well behaved!

I can’t stand liars. Why couldn’t they just be upfront about it all? Better than the outrageous lies

for you op.I hope there is a reasonable reason for the other children's attendance.
Like you said,it saved you a lot of money.
No advice really but I hope you are ok.

Always interests me... why did you both decline invitation? Why didn’t the one related to bride/groom not go to wedding?

If we'd all gone we would have realistically needed an overnight stay (at least one possibly two, the ceremony was early on the Saturday, then after the reception). It wasn't local to us, so not easy to pop in and out.

So if one of us went alone then the other would have been at home with the kids, trying to get them all to various activities etc (we have busy weekends) on the Saturday at least, if not part of the Sunday too. Not impossible, but not ideal so we made the decision to both not go.

It's rare we do overnights away (together or separately) because of the logistics and the expense, but we were prepared to go as a family and make a weekend of it (take kids to different places on the way back etc). So when we found that the kids weren't invited we reassessed it.