Christmas - not sure how to feel about this

[greenfooted]

DH and I are in early 40' s, two DCs under 5 with another on the way soon. Get on well with both our parents who are happily in good health. Neither leave near us so we see them every couple of months. We have always visited them both at Christmas, splitting Christmas Day between them (as quiet traffic means it's doable), including when we have had DCs. This year we have decided it's probably too much with small baby as well, so will have Christmas here. Both sets of parents agree that this is sensible. We invited both of them to stay, plus my single brother. All have declined m, saying they would like a quiet Christmas but will visit at some point I December.

Really not sure how I feel about this. Think I am a bit annoyed as we have made the effort for years, and I already felt sad for not going this year but the travel
Logistics for us just don't work. That said hosting is hard work (although they are both quite hands on when here and I will have to host them seperatly now).

More than anything, with just me and DH and such young DCs, I am worried it will just be a normal day - any tips on how we handle this

Think this means you are the grown-ups now...

Enjoy!

Enjoy a lovely peaceful Christmas with your family. Hosting is stressful enough as it is without a new baby too.
What about going out for Christmas dinner? Nice family walk after presents and then home for a Christmas film and chocs.
I would love a Christmas Day as just the 4 of us!

What I would pay to have a Christmas with just my DH and DD. It will never happen always stuck with family! And he's always working on the farm! Enjoy your time!

You can plan to have a wonderful magical Christmas at home with your children or you can sit and mope because you're not spending Christmas Day dashing between A B & C on the motorway!

You will definitely be told YABVU as you have just described most Mumsnetters' idea of the perfect Christmas.

Intimate family christmases are the best! Opening stockings in PJs, every family seems to have their own traditions for what to eat in the morning, when to open pressies etc. When everyone finally gets dressed. You get to choose your own xmas meal traditions then all snuggle up in the evening and watch xmas films. We've always had the day just to us and it's definitely not just any other day!

They probably declined because they think you could do without hosting. Enjoy it. We stopped travelling at christmas after we had 2DC. People are always welcome to us but the children just want to be home with their presents and spending time with family not on the motorway for half the day.

I would make this the start of a new tradition. If they want to visit you they can so you never have to feel any guilt.

greenfooted we no longer have Christmas with relatives since they are older and like it quieter and so it is often just us.

Have a few traditions you like and do, we always make a ginger bread house, attend a crib service, make something special food wise.

Check out all the other threads on here for mumsnetters wanting exactly what you've described and count your blessings!

Seriously though, if it bothers you not seeing them, is it worth raising it again so they understand you do really want them to come and weren't just being polite? If the travel is an issue, could you suggest trains etc or other alternatives?

Sounds like bliss to me . A family service at church in the morning followed by a lazy day together .

Just enjoy it with your little ones the proper Christmas magic doesn’t last forever and when it’s gone it’s gone.
We always spend Christmas on our own just the four of us and the dog.
We go downstairs open pressies with tree lights on. Christmas music and Bucks Fizz and choccies whilst opening pressies in PJ’s dressing gowns. Kids usually staying PJ’s all day. We have a leisure breakfast and do Christmas dinner. We usually have a walk out as a family for some fresh air at some point. We watch films and relax with a glass of wine after lunch kids join us for films. We eat when we want chill out and it’s lovely. Boxing Day repeat.

Bet they're really looking forward to not having to host this Christmas either enjoy!

Enjoy your Christmas as a family! I’ve spent the last few years hosting and I’d love a quiet one!

Don't overthink it. Do what you want to do and go with it.

Honestly, I doubt you’ll ever look back OP. You can do your own thing with and as a family as and when you want to without rushing, worrying about upsetting or having to please X or Y whilst also fitting in with Z and making small talk with A etc etc. Plenty of space and room for you all to relax without feeling squashed hemmed in or uncomfortable and on top of each other or having to get dressed up especially with kids in the mix. The kids will be happiest at home in their own bedrooms and surroundings with their new toys thrown into the mix etc etc. You can watch TV, listen to Christmas music, watch films etc etc.
A friend of mine used to do Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve when her kids were little, go to church after then on Christmas Day they opened presents had a big breakfast and chilled out all day whilst the kids played with their new toys etc and they had turkey and chips or a turkey curry on Christmas Day eve. Make your own traditions and enjoy. I’m sure not many people would really want to leave their homes at Christmas if they felt they could do it without offending someone.

I'm so jealous. I wish we could have a Christmas just us 😂

Everybody on this thread make it sound fantastic. Can't wait for Christmas. Do what is suggested, and just enjoy Christmas day doing whatever you want.

An invitation is not a summons.

You can start creating your own Christmas traditions with your children. We used to always spend Christmas day at home and go to Mum's family on Boxing Day because that's when they had a big party. Here are some of our traditions:

-"appetizer dinner" on Christmas Eve. Mum made a whole bunch of different foods that would be traditionally served as "appetizers". There were enough varieties that you could get a full meal. Examples: Brie wrapped in crescent dough, veggie bars (baked crescent dough with herb and garlic cream cheese spread on top after baking, add bits of cut-up broccoli and peppers on top, YUM), cocktail sausages in red sauce made from a mix of cranberry sauce and raspberry jam, etc.

-Christmas dinner on Christmas day with all the trimmings and using the good china and crystal (Mum always said to USE the good china for special occasions, even with the little kids)

Those were the big ones. You could create a tradition such as getting new or matching pyjamas, or watching special Christmas movies. (Two favourites of mine: The Muppet Christmas Carol and It's a Wonderful Life.)