To think this isn't justice at all?

[scrambledheads]

Long so please bear with.
Dp of 18 months has a dd (3yo) with an ex girlfriend. Got contact eow and holidays through court, which took a year and 16k to achieve. She is a happy little girl and a delight to have in our family.
Ex got legal aid due to dv accusations, which she dropped in court when she was asked to give evidence. Never reported to police or social services. I have seen proof that the things she has accused him of never happened. Ex also ended relationship with her older dds df in the same circumstances but he didn't/couldn't afford to fight for her.
Ex regularly sends aggressive and accusatory letters and texts to dp accusing him of ridiculous things and threatening him to stop contact, take him to court, call the police etc. It has gotten so bad we have reported the aggressive communication to the police who took it seriously.

We got his dds medical records from the gp, as ex said she had a serious health problem (which turns out to also be untrue happily) and in the records, we have discovered that dd has a sister who, going on dates, belongs to dp and that the ex has kept the pregnancy and child secret from dp for over a year.
We have been to a solicitor and she says that the best we can hope for is a dna test and a staggered contact after a long and expensive court battle again. I feel very let down by the 'justice' system. Does anyone have any advice that we should consider?

Well I’m not sure what you’re angling for here. If it’s compensation, the UK justice system works on putting you back to where you would be where the incident had not occurred (eg loss of earnings). It doesn’t compensate for distress for most situations.

As far as criminal proceedings go, she has done a morally disgusting thing but I’m not sure if she has committed a crime...

The best justice you really have is being the best parents you can be, as time will eventually show her true character to your children.

By committing a crime, I meant in regards to hiding the child’s paternity btw.

In regards to her harassment, would it be worth getting social services aware of this? They may be able to refer her to mental health support if she needs it

I’d definitely take it back to court and demand a dna test and get contact established.

It must be devastating for your DP to find out he has another child he knew nothing about for the first year of her life! That’s so awful

Can he represent himself in court? That makes it affordable. There are lots of websites where single parents/dads will support each other through the system and some are very knowledgeable indeed, even accompanying each other.

Sounds like your partner will do the right thing for this child, as he did before.
Im not without sympathy (I have a friend who basically ran out of money to keep fighting and hasn’t seen his child for several years) and appreciate your anger with his ex, she sounds horrible, but try and let go of your anger with ‘the system’ - for every dad like your partner, there are scores of knobheads who ARE violent, and who only want access to ‘get to’ their ex.
Good luck, I hope it’s an easier process this time.

Our system isn't about justice...

I though that someone couldn't demand a DNA test the mother had to consent?

How has she kept the child a secret? Does the 3 yr old never speak of her sibling?

Did he not see her during the pregnancy to see the bump?
Are you confident in your solicitor? If it's going to cost a fortune to pursue anyway, might be worth paying top dollar for the best?

The court can order a DNA test if it feels it's appropriate.

So many questions.

So if you asked for the DD records how come you also got details of a child you didn't even know existed?

How can it be "justice" fault when they didn't know this other child was his either?

Ex was always sat behind dp in court. They were escorted in separately due to the dv accusations. Social services however visit her regularly and must know and i find it very unjust that it has been hidden.

Dd is delayed developmentally and has only started to form sentences very recently. She has chatted about another child but we assumed it was a child from ex's new partner or a friend.

Medical records were redacted by go to remove exs information but a small paragraph containing these details were missed. Otherwise we wouldn't have known until dd was talking fully in maybe a years time or so

Don’t get me wrong - I find it injust too.

Are social services aware of the true extent of her lies and harassment? It would be worth them knowing - she doesn’t sound well mentally.

Could this possibly be settled outside of court or is she insistent that the secret child isn’t his/he can’t see her? In regards to your legal fees, speak to your solicitor to see if there’s a chance that these could be reclaimed and she would be liable due to the circumstances?

ex has kept the pregnancy and child secret from dp for over a year.

Assumption that its DPs child, she may well have been having an affair.

O/T Is there a legal requirement to tell potential fathers that they might be the father?

Morally I think every child should have a father, but I do realise in MN land the usual course to take is keep him off the birth cert and deny PR