AIBU to make up a white lie?

[Mummadeeze]

A new guy started at work and I got the impression quite quickly that he had a crush on me. I know this sounds big headed, but there were lots of signs. He made a massive effort to be friendly and get to know me, even though we are not in the same department and do not work together. Plus, he gave me some personal compliments about my appearance etc. I am quite a bit older than him, so I did ask myself if I was reading too much into it and maybe he was just a really friendly person trying to fit in, but I still had that vibe from him. Regardless of his feelings, I was always very polite when I spoke to him and not unfriendly, but I didn't encourage him at all or give him any reason to suspect I found him attractive (which I don't).
Anyway, he handed in his notice after a few months and Friday was his last day. During his leaving speech, he said 'it was a real pleasure getting to know you' and looked at me very pointedly, to the point where everyone in the crowd turned to look at me. It was a bit embarrassing, but he then said 'getting to know you all' and kind of covered it up. Before he left the building, I just called over best of luck to him as I was walking past him, and gave him a wave, to be nice. And that was it. However, this weekend he has sent me an email saying what a pleasure it has been getting to know (I don't really know him, we haven't spoken very much) and could he take me out to lunch soon?
So this is my problem now - I don't really know what to say back. I don't want to go out to lunch with him, even as a friend, if I am honest because I value my lunch hour and I don't think we have much in common and I know that he fancies me, and I don't feel the same. But the worst thing is, he is only moving jobs to the office building next door, so if I do say no and make up an excuse, I will probably see him from time to time in the local area anyway. If he had asked me on a 'date' then I would just say, I have a partner and that is it, but because he has only asked me out for lunch, I don't know how to decline without seeming rude. What do you all think is the best approach here? I am a people pleaser and not good at saying no to things I don't want to do!

Very kind of you to ask but I will need to decline. Best of look in your new role.

Luck
What is wrong with me

I'd just ignore email or say "yeah definitely. I'll let you know when I get chance as really busy at the mo" and then never email again.
But I'm a big wimp when it comes to this sort of thing!

Ha ha - that sounds so blunt! I feel like saying something so short will make him feel embarrassed for asking. But I guess I might have to bite the bullet and be a bit 'unkind'. I was kind of fishing for some kind of believable excuse though to be a bit more gentle? Thanks for your response though.

Yes... good idea to be really 'busy' for ages. Just hope he isn't persistent. I guess it is a good starting point and then if asks again, I could be more truthful.

But an excuse just defers the pain. Easy for me to write on here, not sure what I'd actually do other than consult a dictionary before I sent the email

Ffs. Husband/partner/boyfriend might misinterpret if I accept so thanks but no thanks.

Awkwaaaaard! I hate this kind of stuff.

I would be the same as Boo and just day ‘that sounds nice, I’ll let you know when I’m available.’

I would also probably rope a friend to come with me if I did end up being forced into it!

Hmmm... you are right too StealthPolarBear - an excuse does defer the pain. But maybe he doesn't really care and was trying his luck. For all I know he might have asked other women in the office he fancies out for lunch too! I think the busy excuse is a good way of finding that out maybe as he might just take the hint and move on then.

‘I’m sorry I don’t date colleagues or ex colleagues’
Or
‘I’m just not feeling the same vibe’

Uggh... some good ideas, but I just do feel awkward. If he was moving to a job in a different area, that would really help! I could say my boyfriend would misinterpret it, but when this happened to me before with someone else and I said something along those lines, the person who had asked me out for lunch got offended and said that he had wanted to talk business with me and I had misinterpreted his intentions. I totally hadn't because I said 'well that's okay, let's set up a meeting in the office to discuss the business thing you want to discuss rather than lunch' and he said 'I will' but never did, but again it was really awkward!

I wouldn't say I was busy at the moment as he will just keep asking and it also seems a little cruel to keep him hanging on if he likes you. I would probably reply with something along the lines of longwayoff's reply above

It doesnt matter what he thinks because you wont be maintaining a relationship with him.

I think saying my boyfriend may misinterpret it is appropriate to this situation because he can't be talking about work when you no longer work together and should cut the ties completely .That will be better in the long run .